Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Things About Villains

1 Sweats acid
2 Sweats lysergic acid
3 Cloud of acid surrounds it
4 Desperate for cake
5 Deceives you as to its species
6 Hates and fear numbers
7 Cries and the tears are sentient
8 Screams and the screaming causes nightmares which will make you scream and these screams cause dreams which initiate screams and on and on forever
9 Fire for blood
10 Allergic to oxygen
11 Unidentifiable
12 Murders mice and eats them
13 Flees birds, and flying creatures
14 Has horns and these horns are omens
15 Has thespian ambitions
16 Claws at your helmet and envies your armor
17 Vomits rabbits
18 Cold and cunning, crafty and cruel
19 Corrupt, closeted
20 Called by many names
21 Face frozen and palsied, teeth chipped
22 Iron eyes
23 False fangs of bone and wire
24 Three predictions, one is wrong
25 Three pets, one is a bomb
26 Clueless, courteous, careless, thin
27 Stealer of stones
28 Gnawer of bones
29 Sits high atop a pile of thrones
30 Commands clones, consults crones
31 Thirty teeth embedded in arm
32 Rotting tongue--old curse
33 Keeps a storm in a red bottle
34 One-armed, one-legged, theocratic
35 Ecstatic, emphatic, geriatric
36 Neurotic, necrotic, despotic
37 Twins: Quixotic, idiotic, polyzygotic
38 Prone to outbursts of glee. No ears.
39 No spine
40 Alcoholic, crippled and alone
41 Denied sanctuary by nine gods
42 Worships a single giant black breast
43 Dazed, beaten, bitter, bored, brilliant
44 Crackles with blue electricity
45 Butterfly collector
46 Frogs for friends
47 Elaborate mechanisms perform ordinary functions
48 Frost Breath, uncontrollable. Difficult life.
49 Outcast due to being born with unholy skin pattern
50 Grinning jackanape with asperger's syndrome
51 Bronze-plated
52 Grovelling liar
53 Draws flies
54 Eats only babies
55 Scabies
56 Speaks to the mist, and it listens
57 Worships Tiamat. Glistens.
58 Empty husk. Left eye is actually head of long, thin, opthalmocephalic creature which controls body.
59 Were-Other-Villain
60 A brother to insects
61 Scorns the love of women
62 Wheeled about by tiny men
63 Fries eggs compulsively
64 Eyes you repulsively
65 Two tongues. Says contradictory things simultaneously.
66 Spiky, clothed in oil
67 Fatter than anyone
68 Explodes on a 20
69 Funny
70 Heads on his or her hands
71 Regales you with elaborate plans
72 Dead. Is Weekend-At-Bernied around by former employees.
73 Constantly in pain from boils that will burst when struck, doing d6 damage.
74 Needles for nails
75 Wizard. If already wizard, then part-lizard.
76 Surrounded by null magic zone
77 Surrounded by dinosaurs
78 Surrounded by hatters and enterprising footmen
79 Counselled by nuns
80 Crazed, desperate and capricious
81 Slutty and vicious
82 Young and malicious
83 Yellow and suspicious
84 Delicious
85 Covered in rats
86 Organized, drunk
87 Telepathic and driven by a fear of the dead
88 Bruised from battles half-remembered
89 Partially dismembered
90 Three-gendered
91 Hateful but pious
92 Eats light from the sun
93 Will know your name before you speak it
94 Toys idly with a brass object
95 Is here to purge this ungrateful land
96 Nine hands
97 Is like Ayn Rand
98 Slaughtered your clan
99 3/4ths god and 1/3rd man
00 Has signed a document approving enhanced interrogation techniques


Ry St said...

This post may have accidentally made me fall in love.

Or was it deliberate?

mordicai said...

The 3e book "Heroes of Horror" has a bunch of random lists of traits or random spooky stuff. Okay, maybe not a bunch, but a few, & it is the last WotC book that I can think of with randomized lists like that.

Neither here nor there, just popped into my head. I am procrastinating on getting ready for work.

John said...

Zak, that is a work of art. Well done.


"Is like Ayn Rand"

Is almost universally misunderstood, not just by those who loath her, but also by those who love her?

James said...



Thanks! :)

Adam Dickstein said...

It's 'The Great Book of Evil' by Dr. Seuss.

Steve Lawson said...

Your tables are always so evocative and readable.

The funny thing is that ones like "58 Empty husk. Left eye is actually head of long, thin, opthalmocephalic creature which controls body." make me think, "Oh, Zak, another one of those?"

richard said...

I've just figured out how this post relates to the OKCupid one.

That post, BTW, reminded me for some reason of your discussion with Greg Christopher. I'm thinking that for my major NPCs I need a description for how they see themselves, another for how their henchmen see them and a third for what you'd notice if you ran into them coming out of a public bathroom.

JET (aka Jason) said...

My favourite: "Dead. Is Weekend-At-Bernied around by former employees"

Most Excellent.