Tuesday, October 2, 2012

12 Idiotic Wonderland Filibuster Conversation Openers

1. What's your name?  How do you spell that? In Southern Voivode it would be spelled with two ll's and the accent on the N...

2. What are you doing? Why? And why would anyone want that? And why would anyone want that? And why would...

3. Interloper! View my invention! (Points to mundane feature of landscape)

4. I see you have an impressive forthwrick. A forthwrick. Yes you do, right behind your thrombulatte...

5. Forgive me I seem to have forgotten my name.

6. What is that? (Points to PC's right eye. Has no problem identifying left eye.)

7. (Observes any PC action.) Do you always behave so offensively?

8. Would you mind holding this while I...

9. You should be ashamed of yourself. It would be a good name for you "Ashamed Ofyour Self". And you should be Basil.

10. Whatever it is you're looking for, I'm sure it doesn't exist.

11. Stop copying me. Yes you are, I was breathing before you even arrived...

12. Excuse me--why am I dreaming you? You aren't the least bit interesting...


  1. Some of these highlight unsettling similarities between Wonderland and the Internet.

    #3 is pure genius and I'm going to try it at parties.

  2. I've experienced no. 5 a couple of times. Dark rum just kicks my ass.