So here' what the girls said when asked to rate the sex appeal of guys on my hard drive...
Arnim Zola got no love. As is right and proper: he is a mad geneticist and a Nazi and he has a TV with his face on it where his stomach should be.
The Kraken scored very high and remained in the running pretty much the whole time.
...as did Blix The Goblin. Why? I have seriously no idea. Mandy seems to subscribe to the (dubious but beneficial to me) Big Nose Theory, but that doesn't really explain all of it. My guess is that both Viv and Mandy were assuming Blix was bigger than them, but I think if he was, like, 4 feet, they'd change their mind because Goblin Crawling Up You is somehow much worse I think.
The Mod Gorilla Boss, sad to say, scored poorly. Although Mandy did say Galactus wearing the Mod Boss' suit would be a nice package.
This Makoto Kobayashi Robot scored astoundingly well. Perhaps because it looks like 5 or 6 sex toys welded together.
Insane Kid Cosplaying As Cobra Commander scored high as well, though he came late in the game. The deranged antigleam in his eye definitely counted in his favor with the panel. I believe the goblin, robot, or Kraken defeated him eventually.
Galactus. The ladies loved Galactus. Why? "He eats planets!" Power is a big deal. Apparently feeding Class 3000 power levels into the Kissinger Equation results in numbers high enough to overcome a purple costume, having giant tuning fork things coming out of your head, and multiple genocide.
Steve Martin, the only actual human male offered up for review, was rejected with startling ferocity.
The snake thing scored well, but was quickly buried in the ratings since it came up in the same round as Galactus and...
The Silt Shark from Dark Sun...This was the bone of contention. While both agreed that the shark was sexy (even after I pointed out that it would inevitably be covered in sand) Mandy was unwilling to go as far as to say sexier than Galactus but Viv maintained the thing was you'd be able to say you got fucked by a shark.
Which, judging from the expression on his face for most of last night, would put you in a very small club with John McCain as its charter member.
P.S. Gigacrawler still appreciates your attention.
Julius Moessel (1871 - 1957)
5 months ago