Saturday, March 3, 2012

Dwimmermount Actual Play Slice

James Maliszewski: What are you preparing?

Tavis: Two Sleeps

Ryan : Yeah.

Zak: Awww, man, I'm always hoping we'll find a way to kill someone with Ventriloquism

T: Alright, Ventriloquism

(.....dungeoncrawling occurs......)

J: I have to go soon it's almost midnight and then I turn into a pumpkin and I don't want anyone to see that on camera.

Z: I always suspected. Ok, let's just keep running due south until we meet a monster...

J: South? There's a monster! hear some orcs up ahead anyway, they sound like the other ones.

Z: Ok, we only have 5 minutes! We have to kill them with ventriloquism! OkOkOk we put a pool of oil here and stretch a chain across the doorway like this and we stand on either side of the door like this...

T: And we Sleep them

Z: And then you make your ventriloquism go like 'Oh no! What do we do with all this treasure after killing all these orcs?'...Oh and throw caltrops in the oil!

T: I love this game.

Seconds later 2 orcs are in the trap and Ryan is begging for death after running out to cast Sleep and getting arrowed through the heart. Tavis refuses to oblige and begins hauling him back toward the dungeon entrance. I roll my eyes at the ways of wizards.


Trent_B said...


Your new quest is to kill someone with... what was the name of that spell that we had had in that discussion where you jinxed me? Something about Mordenkainen's Multicoloured Trousers or something? Anyway, that one. Or any of the spells from my Consolation Gnome idea on G+.

Jonas said...

I think I have never heard of any successful murderous schemes that would have involved apt use of Ventriloquism.

I do remember PC's tricking their opposition with it to convince they are surrounded and getting them to recluntantly part with their treasure.

AndreasDavour said...


Devin Parker said...

Ventriloquism's a hoot!

Now, if I could figure out a way to kill something with read magic...

Tavis said...

+1 for caltrops!

Viktor said...


"We're being chased by ORCS... where was that stoopid room with all the doors with magic writing over them again?!"

"Down this way..." ::runrunrunrun::


"Ahhhh! It's just a Tiger and the Lady problem, see? It's door number three with the tiger..."

"OK, quick we hurriedly lay a trail so that it /looks/ like we went through door number three, and then we hide /here/."


[OK, OK, I know... it's a stretch...]

Viktor said...


More seriously, though -- our group once did use detect magic rather like this -- in Sunless Citadel in the basement, there's a certain item with a certain offensive spell cast on it, and we used detect magic to suss it out (might even have been read magic, and the GM was being generous)... we then arranged a trap with the item, made a lot of noise, and when the host of mooks cracked the door to find out what was going on... fa-wumph.

We had already, I believe, determined that the mooks were especially vunlnerable to the type of spell cast on the item...


Orion said...

Conan was wrong. Happiness is witnessing your enemies falling all over themselves like a heavily armed episode of the three stooges before they are destroyed without a trace of dignity by you and your fellow homicide-merchants.

Unknown said...

"Zak: Awww, man, I'm always hoping we'll find a way to kill someone with Ventriloquism"

Find someone with a delicate ego, and start with the smack talk and the "Yo Mama" jokes.

Stefan Poag said...

Orion: thank you! I needed a laugh.
I'm surprised that some pedant hasn't pointed out that you didn't kill the orcs with ventriloquism, you killed them with oil and caltrops... but I'm not going to be that guy (see what I did there?).
Yeah, this post is why I will always love D&D.

Ryu Long said...

Man, going through this whole blog three years or so in is exhausting, and makes me sad I wasn't around for some of the original conversations.

Anyway, 'I prepared Explosive Runes this morning', would likely be involved.