Wednesday, February 10, 2010


This post over at Beyond The Black Gate, caught my attention.

It's about having a "gamer-friendly wife". It's very sweet.

Here's most of what it says (in italics), and most of what I thought when I read it (not in italics)...

The amount of bull$%^& she puts up with is simply amazing, including (but not limited to):

-Several tons of Gaming books cluttering the house.

My girlfriend's main complaint on this score is that so many of the books in the house are 3.5.

Therefore, in an apartment where the tentacle rape porn is out on the bookshelves next to Groundhog Day and Super Mario Party the only reading material left under the bed is stuff like "The Complete Arcane" and "Heroes of Horror".

-Several libraries worth of scifi, fantasy, and history books cluttering the house.

I have a private definition of 'geek' and that's someone who will put up with inferior art or fiction because it has laser beams or dragons in it. Of course, I realize many other peoples' private definition of 'geek' is someone who recognizes and cares about gradations of quality when it comes to art and fiction. Either way, what I desperately need everyone who visits my apartment to know is: the stacks of paperback Tolkien and Star Wars novels are pretty much the only books in the house I consider "Mandy's" rather than "ours".

-Helping to rear children that are starting to exhibit signs of wanting to paint miniatures (God help us).

My girlfriend's main issue with painting miniatures is she's self-conscious about doing it right so she leaves them unpainted for months after we buy them.

-Me driving off to other states to enjoy games and conventions.

The only convention I ever went to was a comic con in Toronto where she and her sister and her cousin all cosplayed and as we were going down the escalator I said "Jesus I hope nobody recognizes me" and then immediately after I said this, a random art school student came up to me and was like "Hey aren't you..."

-Going with me to see yet another bad science fiction flick.

She has seen the new Star Trek movie at least six times. She probably would've watched it last night but we lost the DVD, thank fucking god. Also, please be aware that the copies of Pitch Black and The Matrix are among other media in the apartment that are "hers" not "ours".

-Having to know how to separate my toys from the kids'.

-Helping to rear children who are starting to exhibit signs of not wanting to take their toys out of the wrapping because then they're less collectible

Usually it's pretty easy to tell who's toys are whose. Anything still in the original wrapping is definitely hers.



mordicai said...

If it wasn't for Sunday's apart, me with a gaming crew & her with her friends, my wife & I would be disgustingly umbilical corded. So we have a diverging hobby keeping us from being too gross. She does let me fill up the shelves with RPG books & hide plastic cases of minis behind the couch...

SirAllen said...

While the idea of a pink TIE fighter amazes me, the picture of Mandy with the Rancor monster you posted a few months back is my favorite so far.

All humans are hardwired to be comforted by boobies. Only special humans are even more comforted by combining boobies with Star Wars.

E.G.Palmer said...

I have no difficulty with pink tie fighters, but the disruptor cannons on that bird of prey are mounted in a non-standard configuration!

I noticed this instantly as my advanced nerdity skills allow me to recall trek ship diagrams with near photographic memory.

My wife is most tolerant of my geekery since it makes me happy. I've managed to interest her in sci fi and fantasy shows and movies, so long as there is character interaction, but I think RPGs will remain beyond the pale.

vaudeviewgalor raandisisraisins said...

you want a real cuddle movie? this is such a swell as hell cool low budget apocalypse czech movie. say that fast.

also try this for that hermaphrodite merging partner 'let's date and bake next to bubbling brains' sensation.
from the Moorcock story.

Adam Dickstein said...

For over 11 years I had the distinct and I often fear impossible to repeat nirvana of living with a beautiful, intelligent, creative and completely 'girl-next-door-on-the-outside-total-geek-on-the-inside' woman who I was lucky enough to be married to for the last four of those years.

She created sound tracks for each campaign, spent hours designing character sheets since she felt no game ever supplied a pre-made one that was 'perfect' and probably spent more on Anime and Manga related product in a year than the island of Osaka.

We are now divorced but still the best of friends.

If you are a geek to the level that I am, you don't need someone who 'puts up with it' or 'gets you'. To be truly happy, your significant other needs to be right in that same boat with the two of you should be in all things.

Happy Valentine's Day. Live Long and Prosper.

Fran Terminiello said...

One xmas dungeondad got me a box of citadel paints and a rubber dress a la sporty spice. Guess which present pleased me more? The gift that keeps on giving.

thekelvingreen said...

My wife said she'd leave me if I brought D&D into the house, but was fine with my Call of Cthulhu stuff. I never worked that out, but I managed to sneak in a copy of Labyrinth Lord, so it may just be the name.

Snarls-at-Fleas said...

My wife plays with us, but sometimes when we get into heated mode shouts about me and my foolish games. It's especially funny to hear when I imagine that it's our dragonborn warlord/fighter/cleric (her character, she could decide about class) roars at me, sending lightning bolts around.

Mandy said...

Zak....we (I) don't have anything Matrix related in our house.

Also, some of those Star Wars paperbacks were really entertaining! You snob.

But my pink star ships are pretty amazing so thanks for those. :)

Norman J. Harman Jr. said...

Am I totally misinterpreting? It's hard to reconcile the Awesome loving DM with the snooty "art" > laser beams and dragons author of this post.

P.S. Pitch Black rocked it harder than Herbie Hancock!

Zak Sabbath said...


You are misinterpeting.

There is good art featuring laser beams and there is bad art featuring laser beams.

Bad art should not exist, whether or not it features laser beams.

Fran Terminiello said...

I guess there are three types of gamer wife:

The gamer-friendly wife
The gamer-unfriendly wife (not many posts about those)
The gamer wife

Adam Dickstein said...

Bingo Dungeonmum! Sign me up for that last one!