Monday, October 23, 2023

25 Hexes


A The small Monastery of the Sustained Wail lies here, where the monks specialize in candlemaking. The abbot wears a mask to disguised severe scars he sustained when he was a soldier. He is dead, though the remaining monks do not know that. Their library is impressive and contains useful books.

B The remains of a massive elven warship from the First Goblin War is unaccountably wrecked on a hillside here, overgrown with vines and old moss. It has been colonized by a clan of longhorned goats. Deep in the hold, swaddled in leather is an unfertilized dragon's egg, the size of a wild boar.

C Cabin containing 8 teenage girls. Despite their unbothered demeanor and having no weapons save a few rude kitchen implements, they claim to have been- (and indeed have been-) surviving deep in the woods on their own for years. They are werewolves. They will attempt to separate party members via guile before eating them.

D Bearded vultures pick at the carcass of a palfrey and the corpse of its rider in high grass here. It is the body of the masked abbot from the monastery in Hex A. His robes, mask, and emblems of office are unharmed.

E An idiot hill giant named Feldvarr lives in a fist-shaped rock formation halfway up a series of flecked cliffs. He does not know it, but the weapon he wields is the legendary 2-handed sword, Insinuator, which bears an inversion enchantment: the more protected the target, the more easily it is hit.

F Small hamlet of Thin Frocks subject to frequent attacks by strangely aggressive wolves. They're actually the werewolves from Hex C.

G A narrow, wedge-shaped and thickly-wooded hill at the confluence of two rivers, with a small 4-chambered cave system inside accessible only from the top. It would be an excellent defensive position if the surrounding area had any value which, at this time, it does not.

H Small lake with an inn and tax-collector's post on an island in the center reached by a small rowboat. The Inn of the Broken Buckle offers night-battered rum pudding, eggs in frosted lime oil, blackberry stout and threemelon brandy. In the hour after sunset patrons gamble on the number and kind of thrown-foodstuff wounds with which the tax collector will arrive.

J  There are rumors of an apple-throwing hobgoblin in the unusually large trees occupying an orchard here on a gentle slope surrounding an abandoned well, but skeptics suspect that sometimes apples just grow large and fall on people.

K Seerwell Loops, a monk from the monastery in Hex A was out selling candles when he spied the goblins soldiers at Hex L from a high bluff. He has abandoned his cart and now races back to the monastery to warn the abbot.

L Thirty-four goblin soldiers on foot under Harc Commander Slumgullion Rink, a 12th-level goblin fighter, are under orders from the King of All Goblins to stealthily investigate rumors of an unhatched dragon egg in this area, spurred by the recent discovery of a library of First War documents. Rink's current plan is to march up to Hex G and set up a base camp, then send his detachment of veterans (4th level fighters) out to investigate. 

M Here, a bend in the barely-moving river is choked with violet-colored water-lilies. A freshwater mermaid named Celine sits eating them. She is trying to figure out a way to get the trolls occupying the bridge at Hex N out of "her" river.

N A decaying stone aqueduct-bridge has recently been occupied by Omphalos Ubb, a whistling troll and an anti-intellectual. He eats any fish that can't answer his riddle and any man who can. The riddles are easy.

O Near an old field-wall and beneath layers of low-growing gorse lies the forgotten mausoleum of Lord Ordinans Narcysse, a hero of the Second Goblin War, and his family. Anyone eating the flowers fresh (including horses, who love the stuff) will be able to Speak With Dead for an hour--once. The late Clan Narcysse know the local geography and a lot about killing goblins. The are easily offended, however, and a little xenophobic. Anyone showing less than proper respect--especially anyone not from Broceliande--will cause Lord Narcyse to reanimate himself (he is a plate-clad skeleton with 8 HD) and spend the month "expelling invaders" (killing everyone he sees) until collapsing.

P The small hamlet of Conciere has a competent surgeon (can cure d4 hp per day) but labors under a curse lain upon it by Nynniva, the Winedrunk Witch who dwells in Hex T: all the children are really ugly. The parents of Conciere will lavish such gifts as they have on any who can lift the curse.

Q Niptuck the Fondler and Hodhaus van Dorn--4th level thief/rogue/specialist and 2nd level wizard/magic-user respectively--and sole survivors of a luckless adventuring party, seek any way out of this godforsaken wood. Their fellows were hoodwinked and devoured by the young werewolves in Hex C.

R A small fishing boat is tied to a post fifteen feet out into the river from the western bank. The water around the boat is only 5 feet deep but four poisonous watersnakes swim around it, concealed beneath the shoreweed and bladderwort.

S Sturgis the Cobbled (or kobold), a small goblin wearing an unconvincing human-skin disguise, carries a message to Omphalos Ubb at Hex N from the King of Southern Trolls, written in High Trollish. It instructs Ubb to offer all due aid and assistance to Harc Commander Rink (see Hex L) in his expedition but does not say what the object of that expedition is.

T In a perfectly-round cottage at the center of two concentric rings of perfectly round 5-foot moat separated by a perfectly round ring of garden lives Nynniva, The Winedrunk Witch. Leaping over the first moat causes a strong desire to head elsewhere in the forest and find wine, leaping over the second causes a strong desire to give it to the first woman you see. Stepping in the first moat (2 feet deep) causes Sleep and the second is infinitely deep and causes anyone touching the water to sink at 6 feet per round. Each effect only works once per victim every 24 hours.

U Three dwarfs busk outside the Inn of the Cat's Tail. They tumble and sing songs about ladies. The inn serves wheels of white cheddar, snowpeas on black rye, bad sherry and rhubarb wine. 

V Pildo the Incentivized grows powerful psychoactive mushrooms in his garden, a variety he calls Lesser Killdevil. The effect is identical to Harmony Gold plus a Confusion spell. He'll have d4 doses ready at any given time and will trade for useful goods or services.

W A pond, about 100' across, full of ornamental carp in carnival colors. One of them is a transformed wizard, Ontiir, who stocked the pond and once occupied the cottage nearby. He transformed himself to hide from bandits decades ago and cannot remember how to turn back.

X The large castle here seems, at first, as abandoned as the small town gathered at the base of its walls, but in truth it is still occupied by the mad Count Opulence, fifteen knights, and a shifting handful of concubines and party guests. He owns a giant black scorpion named Maldoror which he employs for impure purposes.

Y Nonna Meatspeech, a messenger from the Half-King of Broceliande astride a buttermilk rouncy rides to the home of Count Opulence in Hex X, to inform the decadent Count that goblins have been sighted in the area. He is the only lord in the area with enough troops to oppose them.

Z In the village of Milieux the burghers have placed a long-fingered marsh frog on trial for causing a recent flood which took the lives of four children and the only local goat. The frog is guilty.


Simon Tsevelev said...

This is good, I am stealing it now.

Gem said...

but where's the "I" hex

Zak Sabbath said...


Enlightenment comes from knowing the "I" is both ever-present and unnecessary to contemplate.

Simon Tsevelev said...

The I hex is right in the middle of DIY.