Monday, April 17, 2023

Ask Them Why.

I sued again. It worked. Again.


In 2019, by taking advantage of my estranged and mentally-ill ex, basically the entire tabletop RPG industry decided to start harassing me.

It worked. They destroyed my entire life. I had a career inside RPGs, I had a (much larger) career outside RPGs selling paintings. I had a social life. All that was annihilated.

This is my eviction notice--because I couldn't pay the rent because of this:

This is my food stamp card--because I can't afford food because of this::

This is where my 5 missing teeth used to be--because I couldn't afford to get them fixed because of this:

This is what happened when I sued Ettin / Paul Matijevic, a Something Awful troll and RPGnet moderator in Australia, where he lives, for claiming I abused and harassed people:

This is what happened when I sued the game streamer Vivka Grey, in Los Angeles, where she lives, for claiming I abused and harassed people:

This is what happened when Vivka Grey sued me back, claiming I was lying when I defended myself:

And, now, if you were on the internet yesterday, you might've seen this:


I haven't lost a case yet.

For years everyone has been telling me how hard it is to win a defamation case in the US.

Fewer than 5% of civil cases go to trial.

Viv, for one, admits to having spent over half a million dollars on her cases, yet I won while evicted, on food stamps, and missing five teeth.

You may have heard about my case against GenCon being dismissed. It was. Then I appealed. Only about 20% of appeals are successful. I appealed, it worked.

And then everybody was telling me how hard it was to sue overseas--how would you collect? You collect the same way people overseas pay for anything else, with the internet. It's 2023.

Everyone who was screaming at you about me was wrong. Again.

How long can hundreds of nerds be wrong before just admitting it?


Both in court and on the internet, when anyone anywhere is asked to produce any proof I did anything bad they come up empty. 

This is especially significant considering how many people are claiming I did bad online things--things that should be able to be proved with a fucking screenshot. Nobody has been able to come up with thing one.

Basically, every single thing a person could possibly do to prove they're innocent, I did. In person, on video, via tweet, in court, out of court, you name it--I have been subjected to every kind of scrutiny from every direction for longer than it'd take to earn a Bachelor's.

If you still think I did something wrong, I'm not asking "provide proof" (there isn't any), I'm just asking, for the millionth time: Why? What makes you personally believe any of this shit? 

-When at least a dozen of the people who spread this bullshit have been, themselves, cancelled?

-When the original beef that all the Something Awful goons (like Ettin) had was fake allegations of transphobia against someone whose main online defenders are trans, who repeatedly got trans people hired, and gave up a 5-figure contract to protest transphobia?

-When the original beef that all the story game designers had was a bunch of shit nobody now believes about the supposed objective inferiority of Old School games or people who played them?

-When there's video evidence that the people who started this particular round of harassment turned out to be lying out their asses?

-When the excuse that I have a trust fund turns out to be bullshit because I don't?

-When the excuse that "well the laws are different there" turns out to be bullshit because I won in the US, too?

-When the excuse that I was "obnoxious" has to be put side by side with but you lied about rape?

What the fuck reason do they have left?

Ask them. Ask for the receipts that justify their hate.

Ask WOTC and Hasbro what's left of their reasons for doing this..

Ask GenCon what's left.

Ask Matt Mercer what's left.

Ask the folks at Green Ronin Games what's left.

Ask the guys at Mothership what's left.

Ask Patrick Stuart and Gus L and Arnold K and Noisms over at Monsters and Manuals and all the other OSR people what's left.

Ask Chris McDowall and the OSR discord what's left.

Ask Sandy Pug Games and Tin Star Games what's left.

Ask the Troika folks what's left.

Ask all the sacred crackpots what's left.

Ask Ramanan and Grey Wizard working on BREAK! what's left.

Ask Crystal Frasier and Jessica Price --formerly of Paizo--what's left.

Ask Andy Kitkowski--the founder of Ron Edwards--leading light of the Forge--what's left.

Ask RPGnet and reddit/RPG and reddit/OSR what's left.

Ask OneBookShelf what's left.

When every single reason for hurting someone has been proven by time and by inquiry and by the law to be bullshit, what claim are they hanging on to?

Ask for the receipts. Ask why they ever believed any of it. Ask if they think their reasons were good. Ask if they're even capable of changing their minds.

Please ask them for me.

Ask because I can't do it because I'm busy moving because I can't live in my apartment any more, and my friends here can't because they're busy helping me. 

And when you ask these people, remind them: I will never give up. So if they've got reasons, they'd better be real sure what they are.




Simon Tsevelev said...

This is fucking horrible. It's bad when it happens with a country, like what I've been seeing for years. It's worse when it happens with a person.

remial said...

ha ha ha suck it Cam Banks. congrats Zak, sorry you are going through this.

snakeappletree said...

After a time you will assimilate all this and heal fully. The level-up of your learning curve… let’s face it you always were a level or more above most people… someday it will all come into focus, the why of you having gone through all this. For many of us it’s inspirational that someone out there is beating all adversity. There’s a lot more to it than that. Perhaps it’s something we will never all know because not being on your path it wouldn’t make sense to us anyway. Or perhaps and probably, you’ll put it into one of your art forms and break into new territory to open it all up for those yet to come. Good always comes of bad eventually. Because we make it that way.

Zak Sabbath said...


Fuck "healing". I am attempting to prevent these people from haarming future victims because I am in a unique position to do that

"Good always comes of bad eventually."

That is not true at all.

The good is just luck, sometimes its there and sometimes its not.

Becami Cusack said...

Good things don't always happen to good people.
But good people make good things happen.

I'm glad you don't intend to quit - I'll help the whole way through.

Zak Sabbath said...



Harassing comments don't get published.

Jeff Bernstein said...

I'm glad you're prevailing, Zak.

Jon Hammersley said...

Happy to see you come out on top. Life may never be the same but delivering a solid financial hit and making them eat their words is a start towards a better place.

kimbo said...

one thing that i don't understand is why are you sueing mandy? why not sue wotc and/or drivethrurpg? wotc has struck your name from something you worked on (even as consultant) and drivethrurpg.

i mean you are going after someone that is, your words, mentally ill and who you once loved.

Zak Sabbath said...


I didn't want to sue anyone--but as the judge in Mandy's case pointed out: Mandy's actions have made it impossible to use any other venue besides to courts to clear my name.

If I have to sue, why would I not sue my main abuser?

A result against Mandy would show that even the person most intimately and directly connected to these claims can't defend them.

Being mentally ill is not an excuse to abuse others.

If the rest of the community is concerned about that then they can simply un-ban me from the various venues where I could defend myself and allow me to make my case.

A case against WOTC or DriveThru would involve arguing that they're not allowed to choose who to do business with--a case against Mandy is _wayyyyyyy_ simpler and more morally uncomplex:

She lied about a felony.

targenthan said...

Yeah, I'd like to ask why target a mentally ill person.

Now all it seems to show you as is as a vindictive - whether a truthful statement of the state of your mind or not. Whatever - at least you are vindicated

Merits of a success legal challenge or not aside.

I go by Targenthan online.

Zak Sabbath said...


I am the victim of a mentally ill abuser.

I can either take no action--in which case my abuser successfully harms me, my life is destroyed and my abuser is free to harm others--or I can seek justice.

All my abuser has to do to free themself of the lawsuit is do _what they should do for their own mental health anyway-- which is acknowledge the harm they did publicly by lying and apologize.

So the best outcome for me -and for my mentally ill abuser- is the same.

Any other _specific_ option would be worse for both of us.

What other -specific_ option would you seek, Targenthan?

Zak Sabbath said...


You were asked a question and failed to answer, EnricoGucci, you're banned until you fix that and your comments will be erased.

Zak Sabbath said...


Sorry no anonymous comments allowed

Bengis Bangis said...

How is your lawsuit against GenCon going?

Zak Sabbath said...

@Bengis Bangis

Same shit different day.

Eltharian said...

Where can I find to read how it started whit Mandy and the lie?

Zak Sabbath said...


Depends what you mean by "started"--Mandy decided to lie at some point before 2018 and you'd have to find her to understand where it started.

A lot of hatemob members decided to support any attack on their victims (including me) long before that. There are hundreds of them.