"...I'm just saying: you've died three times in this dungeon already Stokely and every time you did you were either hungover or drunk."
"You walk down to where the dog and the ape are licking the stairs and you slip--roll a Dex save--falling down the lard-smeared stairs and landing on some caltrops taking....4 points of damage. The dark elves snicker from the darkness"
"They demand you hand over the children of Torgos Zooth to them"
(Karolyn) "I'm gonna intimidate the remaining ones!"
"Roll and--What do you say?"
"I ask--why are their ears so round!...NATURAL 20!"
"Ok, they saw you walk down the stairs, then you walked back up the stairs, they set up an ambush, slathered lard and caltrops all over the steps, called up 5 friends, they outnumbered you more than 2-to-1 and you kicked their asses and called them 'round-ears' --the remaining ones run"
"Down on his knees he's like 'Please! We simply wanted to ransom them back to Torgos Zooth!"
"Take us to him!"
"Ok, Stokes that puts you at -1 hit point, roll d100.........Instant and demoralizing death, all allies present must Save or be stunned with shock for one round. The Chameleon Woman's machete crosses your throat, your head flies up spinning this way, your headless body spins the other way..."
"Ok this is Jessica she's my new character."
"What are y'all doing?"
"Well we still have to find Torgos Zooth and return his kids to him, where is he?"
"They said in the Almery"
"Let's go to the Almery"
"This is the Almery, this whole section of the dungeon is called the Almery"
"Jessica gonna yell 'Hey Torgos Zooth, we have your kids!'"
"..oooth ooth ooth' the walls echo and the DM rolls a wandering monster check"
"Ok...d100....Oh my god..."
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