Wednesday, October 12, 2016

30 Months in a Megadungeon

This is the diary I kept when we played Frog God's Rappan Athuk. Kirin of Old School Hack ran it. I think I ended up at 4th level by the end? Maybe 5th? Maybe 6th--I had Fireball, which I had to buy off somebody. We didn't come anywhere near finishing the dungeon. Elves level slow in Labyrinth Lord. I started with a thief named Devildog Slaughterfist...

Jan 25, 2013

Dear Diary: Went in with one hit point, left with one hit point, 250 gp, a magic arrow, a serrated gnoll sword and one leg.

Feb 1, 2013

Dear diary,
Lost a mule, dwarf lost a foot, told some bandits I was an insurance adjuster, killed a metal snake with glue and lard. Not dead yet.

Feb 8, 2013

Dear Diary,
Suspicious looks from the man who works at the general store. We keep leaving with fresh mules and lubricant and keep coming back with money.

Feb 21, 2013

Dear Diary,
Weaponized another mule. Killed some gnolls with it. Heavy night of drinking--the cleric almost married the barmaid, I leveled up and Borin invested in a hog farm. He's taken to naming the mules numerically.

Feb 28, 2013

Dear Diary,
I found you on the corpse of a one-legged thief. The last entry reads "The dwarf says it just looks like a regular stone gargoyle, I'm gonna check it out".

So I got a new PC--an elf named Gorgut the Weasel

Mar 8, 2013

Dear Diary,
First day at work. Met a fighter--he died, met a druid--she died. Knocked over some skeletons, burned some gnolls and poisoned a bear. Unseen Servant is a hell of a spell.

Mar 14, 2013

Dear Diary,
Though I am now known to the gnoll tribe as Gorgut The Pyromancer, linguistic confusion and overindulgence in the humans' spiritdrink has resulted in my tattoo reading "Gorgut the Pie Romancer".

Mar 28, 2013

Dear Diary,
Decided to give the dwarf the magic sword we used to save him from the crypt shadow. Turned out to be the right move since hours later I got drunk and thieves took everything I had on me.

Apr 4, 2013

Dear Diary,
Found enough treasure to buy back all the stuff I lost but, due to bandits, our wizard no longer has a penis.

May 17, 2013

Dear Diary,
Finally got to the part of the dungeon where there's puzzles and teleporters, just like in the trailers. Still fighting zombies, though. Boris died in a pit trap. 

Jun 14, 2013

Dear Diary,
Convinced a goblin he was a wizard by using Unseen Servant today. Beginning to suspect the whole country is just built on top of mazes full of monsters that have treasure hoards. Weird.

Jun 20, 2013

Dear Diary,
Weaponized Mending today. So all y'alls can suck it.

Jul 11, 2013

Dear Diary,
Got chased by a giant flaming snake.
Also: found that ratfucker who stole all my stuff, fed him to leeches.

Jul 25, 2013

Dear Diary.,
So there was this snake, ok?....

Sep 12, 2013

Dear Diary,
Kiddie slope dungeon done. Gross oil monsters routed. Fight the real Rappan Athuk next week.

Sep 19, 2013

Dear Diary,
Bought Find Familiar off someone, then rolled an Imp.
Not sure what this says about me.

Sep 27, 2013

Dear Diary,
Things to do:
1) Check that place where the key was to see if it reappeared there.
2) Do not give Stokely The Mighty vodka 
3) Dig grave for J the Elf
4) Ask why we didn't get any xp for those black stones

Oct 11, 2013

Dear Diary,
Being an elf sucks. I've been here since forever and I'm only 3rd level and Stokely the mighty showed up 2 sessions ago and she's already caught up to me. Fuck fighters and their dumb xp chart. If anybody needs me I'll be in the corner eating mutton I found in the dark using ESP that I had my imp familiar kill for me and my unseen servant sautee.

Oct 25, 2013

Dear Diary,
Got drunk and fought a giant crab.

Feb 14, 2014

Dear Diary, This thief is really really a thief.

Feb 21, 2014

Dear Diary,
Freed a lunatic and a giant spiky iron ball, turned a ghast into green slime, nobody's died in weeks. Very worried.

Feb 27, 2014

Dear Diary,
They killed my imp. Finally found a spellbook with Magic Missile though.

Mar 27, 2014

Dear Diary,
Lost a wizard, gained a fortress. We called it Fort Helgar.

Apr 11, 2014

Dear Diary,
Stokely was all "Can I collect like random healing herbs?" and I was all Jeez can we go already . But then I almost died from mold and was like Hey cool, healing herbs . Also we stole a giant evil blue diamond and this happened.

Apr 24, 2014

Dear Diary,
After surviving gargoyles, demons, ogres, trolls, and two crotch wounds, Fizzbutt the Wizard was felled by a goblin. With an arrow.
He was hardcore. We'll miss him.

May 2, 2014

Dear Diary,
The sympathy I was due for losing my hand to a bugbear and being unable to adventure for 2d4 weeks was overshadowed by the dwarf's player having to go to the hospital after subluxing her spine while vomiting sweet potato chunks.
She's fine now. I, on the other hand, have no other hand.

May 8, 2014

Dear Diary,
Wandering around the sword coast trying to get randomly attacked isn't as good a way to get treasure as I'd hoped. Killed a giant frog though.

Jun 26, 2014

Dear Diary,
Trying to grow grapes but it requires killing golems with lard first. Stokes lost a spider.

Sep 20, 2014

Dear Diary,
Learned today that "half-elf" has another, grislier, definition.

Oct 24, 2014

Dear Diary,
Met a talking eye today and lied to it about breeding spiders so it made us fight a demon. Then we killed the demon. Come back and try to lie to it again tomorrow.

Oct 30, 2014

Dear Diary,
Resurrected the human fez-wearing eunuch wizard a second time. Beginning to suspect Death doesn't want him around.

Dec 5, 2014

Dear diary,
My sister survived, her boyfriend didn't and the other elf got turned into a wight. Also I think we found some pearls or something. It was a day.

Dec 11, 2014

Dear Diary,
Fooled an ettin with an ersatz cow. Slew it thereafter

May 29, 2015

Dear diary,
Today I found out that Houston didn't die and that the monks worship a frog

Jun 12, 2015

Dear Diary,

3 owlbears in one round. This 'fireball' spell has legs.
Now Kirin's on to running Brain Damage so I don't know if we'll ever get back in there.

And now a word from our sponsor...

1 comment: