The Quick and the Dead

Still disagreeing, today Jake will attempt to convince me that we should play D&D using speed factors for weapons.

Has Jake gone mad? Find out... 

Zak

Hey Jake. So: you first, because i don't understand why speed factors are good.

Jake

Hi Zak.  Sure thing.  Using speed factor initiative – where everyone announces actions at the start of each round and the actions taken impact the order of combat – enhances a D&D campaign in a bunch of ways.

It provides a lot more verisimilitude than other initiative methods.  Quick characters with daggers are more likely to get a jab in before a lumbering great-axe wielder can swing her mighty weapon.  A Magic Missile spell will often fire before an enemy spell-caster can conjure a Gate.

Also, battles are made more chaotic.  Just like real-life battles, there's no set order to combat.  Furthermore, you can't hit a “pause button” on your turn to figure out what's the optimal move at that instant, much less have a conversation with allies to develop and execute a plan.

So why are those good things?  Several reasons:

1.  All other things being equal (e.g., complexity, speed at the table, etc.), rules that better reflect reality tend to enhance the game's immersion.

2.  Because most decision making is front-loaded at the start of each round, the pace of the action during each round really speeds up.  Taken as whole, speed factor initiative isn't quicker (or slower) than other methods, but there's fewer stops and starts in the action, which tends to keep players more engaged.

3.  It leads to more diversity of action.  Players get a choice to weigh that they otherwise wouldn't have: should they use the most powerful tool at their disposal, or is it better to use a less powerful tool that may let them act more quickly?  In a D&D game with cleaving or spill-over damage or a Great Weapon Master feat, this makes battle less monotonous and more tactical.

4.  Combat is more dangerous because what happens in battle is less predictable.  More danger tends to equate with more engagement.  Also, if your game looks at combat as a fail-state – a consequence of not being sneaky or clever or persuasive enough – more dangerous combat helps to reinforce that for the players.

5.  Equipment choices have more consequences and tend to be less homogeneous.  A sword & board fighter might not always choose a long sword over a short sword, or wear plate armor when less encumbering chain provides a better chance of getting a jump on opponents.

So, questions?  Thoughts?

Zak

These all seem like legitimate points to me, but the counterargument is that it's more numbers to explain to players, for them to keep track of, and to look up. And isn't speed factor different for every single armor class for any given weapon? (forgive me, I can't remember).

Jake

It is a thing that needs to be explained at the start of a campaign.  No question about that.  However, there's an easy way to avoid having to look things up (and thereby slowing things down) in combat.

Before a game, players figure their basic initiative modifier.  This is based on Dex and, if the speed factor system in play accounts for encumbrance, based on the load the character typically carries.  So that's pretty much normal, and the result is written in their “Basic Initiative Mod” box on their character sheet.

Then, where the weapons are listed on the character sheet, there's a new entry that goes before Range, Damage, etc.:  Speed.  Speed is the Basic Initiative Mod plus the modifier for that weapon.

At the start of each round, players announce what weapon they're using, roll the initiative die, and add the weapon's Speed.  That's it.  Adding that single number is one more step than it takes to do group initiative, but it's still very easy.  It's no more complex than an attack roll, or the standard 5e initiative roll for that matter.

Spells are equally easy.  The Speed for a spell is your Basic Initiative Modifier minus the spell's level.  These can also be prefigured on the character sheet.  Thus, a player chooses a spell of a particular level, rolls a die, and adds (or subtracts) a single number.

AD&D 1st edition has a gestalt initiative system.  It's mostly side-based but, on a tie roll, the order of actions is based on weapon speed factor.  But I think you're thinking of Weapon vs. AC adjustments.  Each weapon had a modifier for hitting each AC.

That's actually a very interesting system, as it helped fighters (and, to some extent, thieves) because the weapons they could use generally had better bonuses than the weapons usable by clerics and magic-users.  I think it was one of Gary's responses to the “linear fighter, quadratic wizard” problem.  However, it doesn't bear on initiative.

Anyhow, speed factor initiative can benefit from having a very slightly modified character sheet, but it's easy to keep track of and doesn't require looking up anything.

Zak

"It's no more complex than an attack roll, or the standard 5e initiative roll for that matter." Well it has one more number--and more than one if you have more weapons.

Jake

The formula is the same as with standard 5e initiative.  It's just that instead of applying a generic modifier to their initiative roll, players apply the modifier noted next to the weapon or spell that they're using.

It's definitely true that side-based initiative doesn't require anyone to apply any modifiers.  It's also true the standard 5e initiative doesn't require rolls each round.  So, in some sense, each of them are a bit simpler than speed factor initiative.

And you're also right that this system encourages characters to carry more than one weapon.  Those daggers that characters tend to get at the start of the game see a lot more use in a game with speed factor initiative.  When an accomplished warrior needs to take out a guard before he can cry out, a stiletto may well be a better choice than a battle axe.  That's almost never the case with any other initiative system.

Zak

I like that it encourages carrying more than one weapon, but it is more numbers like: each weapon has an initiative so if 5 pcs have 2 weapons each that's 10 initiative modifiers rather than 5.

So: more numbers right?

Jake

Correct.

Sat 10:56 AM

Zak

Ok, well to be honest: you've got me convinced enough to try it.

I know that in DCC it's a LOT like D&D combat but there's just a few extra rolls with magic and mighty deeds, and, in my experience, that tiny difference ends up making combat take significantlly longer and take up more of each session.

Which is sometimes fun.

I wonder whether adding speed-factor will add significantly to combat time

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Anything you want to add?

Jake

Two things:

If you try it, you may want to monkey around with the modifiers.  Personally, I've introduced a few complications, like reach weapons getting a +5 when combatants come together, then -5 thereafter.  If you'd like, I'd be happy to send you what I use.  But the main thing is, as you've eluded to, keeping the complexity level just high enough to get the benefits I discussed without slowing the game down.

Also, I've found that speed modifiers are a great widget to use in providing special weapons, armor, and spells, particularly in relatively low magic games.  For instance, you could have an extra heavy flail that takes more time to spin up but then generates enough impact to cause a point or two of shock damage to a target, even if the roll doesn't beat the target's AC.  Or a Magic Missile spell that requires the wizard to shout and roar, which makes it take longer to cast, but then allows their charisma mod to be added to the damage.  Stuff like that.

Zak

In Demon City, I have a blanket rule of "if your weapon is judged by the GM to be better in the situation than the enemy's weapon, you get a bonus"--which vagueness I think you can get away with in a horror game, because combat is rarer. In general I am pro- weapon-for-situation--i like when the Red Viper of Dorn stabs that dude in the hand because it takes to long to get a longsword out. So: i'm game to try. Thanks!

Jake

You bet!

Unlimited Spellbook Rule

Somewhere, in all these dusty RPG books, a great idea got lost--that spells are for wizards, and wizards should have to look them up.

This is also a nice option for those of you who don't like Vancian magic's whole "out of spells for the day" thing.

UNIVERSAL SPELLBOOK RULE

Basic premise

A wizard can use literally any spell from any book they can find, including ones for higher-level wizards. Another edition, another setting, Call of Cthulhu, Warhammer, Shadowrun, Sea Dracula whatever. They can even use spells from non-gamebooks like the Lesser Key of Solomon or whatever. It doesn't even matter how many spell slots you have left--you can just keep going at 0 if you're crazy enough.

How this isn't as good as it sounds:

Base chance to succeed is 60% plus or minus modifiers below. Misfires are nasty.

(Minimum chance, no matter what modifiers are applied, is 5%)

Interpreting the spell:

To start with, the casting player reads the spell aloud, stopping whenever the spell refers to a number (5' or level-number of targets or 3d6) or a game mechanic that doesn't exist or work the same in the native system (referring to saving throws or a dice pool in a system without them, for example).

The player then must translate the spell, as follows:

-Each time the player reaches a number they can propose the number remains the same or they can propose an alternate number or range that they believe is an approximate local-system equivalent of that number (for example, if a spell from a 2d6 system says +2 the player could propose a +3 for a d20 system).

-Each time the text refers to an alien game mechanic, the player must propose an alternate way to account for that feature of the spell. For example, a spell which reduces an enemy's Dodge Pool might instead reduce their armor class and saving throws in a system without a Dodge Pool. If the spell costs Magic Points and the native system has no Magic Points then the player might propose a loss of hit points or a save vs a loss of hp. Numbers again must be provided.

If the GM agrees with the translation of a given change or thinks the change makes the spell less powerful than it is meant to be in the original system, it is applied to the spell description.

If the GM doesn't agree with a change because it seems to make the spell more powerful than it is meant to be in the original, the change is still applied but the caster subtracts -10% from their chance to successfully cast the spell.

Ritual actions or components from the original still must be performed/used.

Other Modifiers

Modifiers based on the caster

For every point of wizard's intelligence +1%

For every level the wizard has +1%

(What if the system doesn't have D&D-style stats and levels? Then GM estimates caster competence and experience on a scale of 1-40 within that system and applies that as a lump sum modifier.)

Modifiers based on the spell

The book the spell is from is not an RPG book: -40%

Same basic game (all editions and retroclones of D&D are "the same basic game", for instance) but a spell level the caster's not normally able to access: -5% per level differential

Different basic game (or not a game) and the GM thinks it's more powerful than the caster's normally able to cast, that is, it looks like a "higher level" spell: -20%

This spell has already been successfully cast by this caster: +2%

Different era of magic: -5%

The eras are

-70s-80s and modern retrogames

-90s

-21st century

Succeeding in the Roll Means...

The spell works as described. Succeeding in the casting roll does not mean you get to skip any other die rolls that may result in success or failure within the spell description.

Failing The Roll Means...

The spell is cast in a way counter to the PC's goals and the more powerful the spell, the more powerful this backfire will be. Most backfire dweomers will simply take a choice that the spell gives the caster and make a different choice. Usually this is a choice of target: a Power Word: Kill spell miscast will, obviously, kill the caster, a miscast healing spell will heal enemies, etc. but this can also apply to other choices--a wizard using a Minor Creation spell to create a bear trap might instead create a foul-smelling mushroom that attracts monsters, or a wizard trying to change the weather to create rain to kill a fire elemental might summon a hurricane, unless that's also fine with the caster, in which case it might result in boiling heat.

Since magic cares more about will and intent than physics, attempts to game the system won't work--a caster who is immune to flame who botches a fireball will be struck by an ice ball, a caster trying to fail a healing spell on purpose in order to heal enemies and make peace will end up inflicting wounds on their allies, etc. Trying to take advantage of the "cast this spell before" modifier by making lots of low-risk Wishes for instance ("I wish for more toothpicks") won't work because the backfire is as powerful as the spell itself, not the way the caster chooses to use it.

A miscast should create a problem approximately equal to the expected benefit but, more importantly, the fear of a miscast sending the spell into the hands of the GM should act as a self-balancing mechanism on the power of spells chosen.

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Trash RIFTS

You know Rifts?

art by jez gordon

Originally: dope setting of post-apocalyptic intergenre chaos, incomprehensible rules. Now: same dope setting but kinda not evolved much, rules by noted sexual harasser?

So we need better rules.

This is Rifts for high-trust RPG environments like FLAILSNAILS, home games etc. Play with a GM you like.

TRASH RIFTS

When in doubt, resolve things as your D&D of choice.

Stats: 

3d6 6 times.
Assign them to stats. What stats? ANY STATS YOU WANT TO INVENT
But if you invent a stat the GM thinks is stupid then you lose the stat and the number--no replacement.

So: Strength, Psi power, Wizardry? Fine. You put a 17 in "Winning"? Meh sorry, you lost that stat.

If it turns out you need a stat for something and don't have it? You suck at that. You have a -3 modifier to it.

Instead of hit points:

Hits come off a random stat.  Two stats at zero and you're unconscious.  Three and you pick up a terrible wound.  Four zeros you're dead.

(This rule is Jeff's idea.)

Skills:

You get 10 skills, they are each linked to a stat and work like that stat + your Level. Right now that's +1.

What skills? ANY SKILL YOU WANT. This is a good opportunity to world-build--if you get "Technomancy" congratulations you just put technomancy in the setting.
But, like stats, if you invent a stupid skill the GM doesn't like--in the bin. No replacement.

Items:

Items: you get 2d6 items, you must be able to carry them and find a picture of them in a Rifts book. They cannot be a unique artifact. Once rolled, you will lose d6 random ones.

No repeats.

Specials:

You get d4 Special things. Mutations, innate powers, spells, claws, vehicles whatever it is that makes your kind of race/class interesting.
Again: if you invent a stupid one, the GM can veto it.

Skin: 

Whatever you like. If it's stupid, the GM is allowed to reskin you into a pre-existing Rifts base class (psi-stalker, cyberknight, etc) of their choosing.

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Here's the first ever character for Trash Rifts, made by Jeff Gameblog:


Skizzo McGirk, drifter Stats Dumb Luck 16 Charm 13 Ingenuity 13 Deftness 13 Brute Force 11 Common Sense 9
Skills Drive Wicked Cool Land Vehicle (Deftness) Jury-Rig Stolen Equipment (Ingenuity) Punch Goon (Brute Force) Avoid Automatic Gunfire (Deftness) Lay it on Thick with the Ladies (Charm) Survive on a Scavengers Diet (Brute Force) Make Promises You Can Actually Keep (Common Sense) (I may veto this one) Recruit Banditos for Daring Raid (Charm) Turn Death into a Fighting Chance For Survival (Dumb Luck) Sneak like a Fucking Ninja (Deftness) Specials Flunked out of Skull Boy officer school but still knows a lot of their protocols and procedure Used to run a bloodmobile on the Mexican border - friendly with several draculas Never met a drug he didn’t like Parselmouth Equipment Vibro-Claws (if you think I’m going to pass on a small chance to be Megadamage Wolverine, you are crazy)
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And one by Geist.

Giles De Rais MK 2
Summoner Low Cunning: 10 Willpower: 8 Social Competence: 6 Violence: 10 Self Esteem: 6 Luck: 12 Summon (Luck) Compel Obedience (Low Cunning) Barter (Social Competence) Argue (Self Esteem) Dodge (Luck) Avoid Consequences (Luck) Lie (Willpower) Smash Someone in the Teeth (Violence) Know About Demons (Low Cunning) Communicate with Ghosts (Willpower/Social Competence) Items: Summoning Gear Skull Bedecked Body Armor SMG Megadamage Samurai Sword Demon summoning tome Splurgoth Staff
Special: Immediate Comprehension of Written Word Psionic Manta Ray Mount

art by shawn cheng

And one by me:

Slith —serpent mutant Stats Agility 15 Cleverness 12 Investment in this situation 8 Reassuringness 7 Lifting thingss 7 Noticing stuff 6 Skills Clossssse combat 16 Sneaking 16 Fixing things 13 Tending woundsss 13 Hunting beastss 16 Pilot things 13 Sabotagery 13 Grappling 8 Seek Bargains 8 Scavenging 7 Equipment Pair of vibro katanas Specials Chameleon Skin Regeneration Congealing spit (medical) Grappling bite


Rift on.

The Zak Hack (Old School 5e D&D)

Note to redditors:

This post has been Reddited, which--as usual--means a bunch of weird comments. The top comment at the moment is that there's no reason to use hacked 5e instead of an old school system. There are lots of reasons, of course, to take a random example: the saving throws are better. Like, having written literally hundreds of pages of old-school modules I can tell you that going "save vs dragon breath" when there's slippy oil on the floor never makes any more sense than it did the first time. Anyway, if you have sane comments, feel free to leave them...

David Decree made this

How to play fifth edition D&D old school style:

EDIT: This is all summarized in a nice clean fan-made pdf document here.

Character gen like this

8 hour rests to get spells/abilities back

No cantrips

No bards

No feats

No inspiration

Group initiative (each side rolls a d6)

Old school healing + Death & Dismemberment

"Concentration" spells sometimes require literal concentration--depends on the spell. It's not just "you need to be awake", sometimes you won't be able to do other stuff.

Starting at 5th level non-casting classes and monsters add their naked d20 to-hit roll to damage (to counter Caster supremacy once fireballs kick in)

Monsters are custom-built when the players are over 5th high level, the monsters roll d20s and d30s for damage.

Rangers like this

Paladins like this

Witch/Warlock like this

Clerics like this

...ideally I'd like to rewrite all the classes and spells and so not have to do the +d20-kludge, but this works for now better than any other game so there we go.
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New Gods, New Clerics, New Death and Dismemberment Table

A pair of new tools. short on poetic description but the in-game effects should be noticeable and fun. Written 5e-style but pretty adaptable.

Some New Gods with their Cleric powers...

Domain of Mariah

It is said she sang, and that all that is left of her incarnation is a fragment of stomach, turned to stone.

1st Level

-Bonus proficiency in performance & persuasion.

-Faerie Fire 1/day.

2nd Level

-Advantage vs light & sound effects

6th Level

-Advantage vs illusions, cannot be Silenced.

8th Level

-Reflect radiant or sound damage back on attacker 1/day.

14th Level

-.Bonus radiant, sonic, or illusion spell of any level you can cast (from any spell list).

17th Level

-Reflects all radiant damage, half damage from sound atks.

Ecstasy of Mariah:

In exchange for one extra illusion, radiant or sonic spell on a given day, a cleric of Mariah can enter an ecstasy whereby she must sing continuously for the next 48 hours. The ecstasy can only be undertaken in an immediately dangerous environment.

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Domain of the Black Grip (Clerics of the Death God, Mot--stolen from Evan E)

He is the Great Swallower, indiscriminate, patient. The Heir to all things.

1st Level

-Bonus proficiencies in Medicine.

-Mindless undead of your level HD or less will not attack you if there is any other available target on your side.

2nd Level

-Feign death 1/day.

6th Level

-Undead must make a Wis save (your Wis is DC) to harm you.

8th Level

-Control HD of undead=Wisdom mod.

14th Level

-Bonus necromantic spell of any level you can cast (from any spell list)

17th Level

-Immune to level drain and advantage vs any necrotic damage.

-.Bonus radiant, sonic, or illusion spell of any level you can cast (from any spell list).

17th Level

-Reflects all radiant damage, half damage from sound atks.

Devotions of Mot:

In exchange for one extra necrotic or healing spell on a given day, a cleric of the Black Grip will only be able to metabolize the flesh of intelligent humanoids for the next 7 days. The extra spell will only be granted in an immediately dangerous environment.
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Other Cleric paths:

White-Lipped Goddess

Vorn
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Zak's Death and Dismemberment Table

This is largely based on Trollsmyth's classic Death & Dismemberment table. It's just adapted for 5e, throws some love at the Medicine skill instead of helmets (because: 5e) and is more detailed (because hey, d100 tables are fun). It's pretty easy to convert to other stuff.

One page version here thanks to Carl in the comments...

How it works:

If you fall below 1 hp, roll d100 (-5 for every point under zero, max -95). Losing a body part you don't have means instant death (so the more mutilated you become the more dangerous combat is). Medicine check DCs are 15.

1 or lower--Instant and demoralizing death. Allies Wis save or be stunned for one round.

2 Instant death

3-10 Internal injuries.  Die in # of rounds equal to die roll unless magic brings you above zero and even then you're at disadvantage on everything physical. A month to recover without 3rd level Cure or better.

11 Internal injuries. Die in 10 minutes unless magic brings you above zero (with disadvantage on physical checks). A month to recover without 3rd level Cure or better.

12 Die in 15 minutes unless magic etc…

13 Die in 20 minutes unless magic etc…

14 Die in 25 minutes unless magic etc…

15 Die in 30 minutes unless magic etc…

16-17 Internal injuries.  Die in 15 minutes unless Medicine check is made before your next turn or magic brings you above zero. Medicine check puts you at 1 hp with a Con save vs 18 each round to keep conscious (with disadvantage on physical checks)--a month to recover without magic.

18 Die in 20 minutes unless Medicine etc…

19 Die in 25 minutes unless Medicine etc...

20 Die in 30 minutes unless Medicine etc...

21 Lost left leg die in d4 minutes unless magic brings you above zero or successful Medicine check. Medicine check puts you at 1 hp with a Con save vs 16 each round to keep conscious (-5 dex for lost limb). Two weeks to recover without magic but even then yr still missing a limb.

22 Lost right leg die in d4 minutes unless…

23 Lost left arm die in d4 minutes unless...

24 Lost right arm die in d4 minutes unless...

25 Lost left leg below knee die in 30 minutes unless magic brings you above zero or successful Medicine check puts you at 1 hp with a Con save vs 14 each round to keep conscious (-3 dex  for mangled limb). Week to recover without magic but even then you're maimed.

26 Lost right leg below knee die in 30 minutes unless…

27 Lost right arm past elbow die in 30 minutes unless...

28 Lost left arm past elbow die in 30 minutes unless...

29 Lost left foot Con save vs 14 each round to keep conscious until successful Medicine check (puts you at 1hp) or healed above 0 (-2 dex for missing appendage). d4 days to recover without magic but even then you're still maimed.

30 Lost right foot Con save…

31 Lost left hand Con save...

32 Lost right hand Con save...

33 Broken bone in rt foot Con save vs 14 or go unconscious for d4 rnds (or until magically healed), then back to 1 hp and disadvantage on all physical checks.  d4 days to recover without 3rd level Cure or better

34 Broken bone in left foot Con save...

35-36 Broken bone in rt leg Con save...

37-38 Broken bone in left leg Con save...

39 Broken rt hand Con save...

40 Broken left hand Con save...

41-43 Broken ribs Con save...

44-45 Broken pelvis Con save...

46 Skull fracture Con save...

47  Fracture collarbone Con save…

48-57 Unconscious until healed above 0hp or until dc 10+ (-hp number) Medicine check is made, then at 1 hp.

58 Unconscious 5 rounds (or until magically healed), then at 1hp and disadvantage until successful Medicine check

59 Unconscious 4 rounds (or…

60  Unconscious 3 rounds (or...

61 Unconscious 2 rounds (or...

62 Unconscious 1 round (or...

63 Unconscious 5 rounds (or until magically healed) then at 1 hp.

64 Unconscious 4 rounds (or…

65  Unconscious 3 rounds (or…

66 Unconscious 2 rounds (or…

67 Unconscious 1 round (or…

68 Con save (DC 15) or go unconscious for 5 rounds (or until magically healed) then at 1 hp.

69 Con save (DC 15) or go unconscious for 4…

70 Con save (DC 15) or go unconscious for 3…

71 Con save (DC 15) or go unconscious for 2…

72 Con save (DC 15) or go unconscious for 1…

73 Con save (DC 15) or be stunned (only able to defend) for 5 rounds (or until magically healed) then at 1 hp.

74 Con save (DC 15) or be stunned…

75 Con save (DC 15) or be stunned...

76 Con save (DC 15) or be stunned...

77 Con save (DC 15) or be stunned...

78 Lose your nose unless the player decides this makes the pc unplayable in which case be a softie and let them pick a facial feature, 1hp

79 Embarassing injury (permanent) (player's choice) 1hp

80 Lose d6 fingers on right hand (6= just thumb) 1hp

81 Lose d6 fingers on left hand (6= just thumb) 1hp

82 Lose tongue 1 hp

83 Lose left ear 1hp

84 Lose right ear 1hp

85 Lose left eye 1hp

86 Lose right eye 1hp

87 Successful medicine check next round or lose tongue 1hp

88 Successful medicine check next round or lose left ear 1hp

89 Successful medicine check next round or lose right ear 1hp

90 Successful medicine check next round or lose left eye 1hp

91 Successful medicine check next round or lose right eye 1hp

92-93 Str save vs 15 or be knocked down, 1 hp

94 Lose some teeth in an unbecoming place -1 Cha,  1hp

95 Lose a tooth,  1hp

96-Ugly scar -1 Cha,  1hp

97-Scar,  1hp

98-Awesome scar, +1 Cha,  1hp

99-Adrenaline surge, you have d4+1hp then collapse for d6 rounds when the fight ends

00-Adrenaline surge, you have d4+1hp then collapse for d6 rounds when the fight ends plus awesome scar, +1 Cha

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Because Bad Wizards Are Annoying

These things are true in D&D:

-Evil wizards come up a lot.

-Writing out which spells of which level they have is a pain in the ass, especially because they might die in a round.

-Always giving all of them infinite spells of the appropriate level removes an important tactical limit that makes wizard fights interesting.

So GMs might be interested to giving NPC wizards a limit on what they can cast, but one that's easier to work with than the one PC wizards have.

Here's one False Patrick and me are using in the upcoming (really upcoming: it's in layout) Maze of the Blue Medusa book. It's based on the following additional observations:

-You're going to be keeping track of the wizard's hit points.

-Even if the spell selection is written out for you like in a published module, you still are always going to have the player's handbook and/or its spell list and descriptions immediately to hand just in order to run the game normally.

A most excellent Librarian, 12' tall. Guards the SEEPING CHIMES from interference and knows what they are for.

AC: 17

HD: 8

Atk d12 bite or by spell

Can be harmed only by magical weapons--except fire, which does doubles damage.

Spells: Gruel can cast any magic-user spell of levels 1-4 at a hit point cost to herself equal to thrice the spell's level--so Magic Missile would cost her 3 hit points. The cost of healing spells is deducted after the spell takes effect.

Treasure:

800 gp in ancient bracelets.

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Notes on this:

-Obviously you can adjust the hit point cost for different kinds of wizards to like 2/level or 10/level or whatever and for different editions. This particular version of this monster was designed for Basic-style monsters, who have way less hp than 3, 4, and 5 edition monsters.

-Again, this presumes you've got the PHB and its spell list by level right there anyway, so it's no biggie to look down the list and decide what spell you'll use.

-If you're tempted to use this for PCs, there are hitches that take hold: outside combat, it gives them them infinite healing (if they have any healing spells) which in turn gives them infinite spells, which in turn means infinite growth, shrinking etc etc. It's good for combat only.

-Players playing hardcore system-mastery-as-tactic will be frustrated by this, but, really, let them be. It violates the system's rules but not the genre's.

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Fantastic Damage

I was thinking there should be a robots-in-the-city game that does for underground hip hop and electronica what Vampire: TM did for goths. I haven't written or more importantly drawn it but it did get me (and False Patrick) thinking about robot games.

After thinking about it way too much, basically I decided the one thing robot games need to have that others don't is hit locations.

Here's some work toward that:

Each body part has an armor die: d4, d6, d8, d10, d12 or d20. Beginning PCs will probably have a d4 in most everything and maybe a d6 or two.

Every weapon has a damage die: d4, d6, d8, d10, d12 or d20.

Body parts used as weapons (punches, kicks, headbutts) generally inflict damage equal to their armor rating. So if your arm is armored up to d8, it does d8 damage when you punch people.

Combat works like this:

Attacker rolls the damage die of the weapon you're using and chooses a body part to attack.

Defender rolls the die of the armor for the body part being attacked.

If the defender rolls high: no damage.

Attacker rolls high, it inflict a number of criticals on that body part equal to the disparity in the dice.

This then requires cool d100 critical charts for each body part, but that's the basic idea.

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Also probably want to work in a mechanic where if you give up your attack for the round (or maybe accept a penalty) you can first roll an Agility Die (likewise rated from d4 to d20) to avoid the blow. Beating the opponent by a little means you shift the attack to another limb (or a shield) beating them by a lot means you dodge altogether.

This means the defender is often rolling as much or more than the attacker, which actually seems appropriate for mech combat.
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Boredom Is Its Own Balance

Note: If you're here because of "stubbazubba" on Reddit, you should know stubbazubba's just angry because he is or is like one of the offended min/maxers in the comments below. You can read and judge whether I'm being unfair.

What sutbbazubba calls a "tantrum" is me enforcing the rules you have to enforce in order to have
a blog that gets thousands of comments per day: 1) Don't suffer fools who didn't read the post 2) If someone asks a question, you answer it and don't dodge it. If you don't do that, the
comments become meaningless spam.

It is worth pointing out that there is an overt lie in stubbazubba's Reddit comment: I never claim to want a " a volatile board full of insults and intense arguments" I want a smart board full of people who answer questions about their argument when asked and never ever make personal attacks. Once someone fails to answer a question, however, they're demonstrating bad faith and they become a chewtoy. People who evade questions destroy all rational debate, and you can go ahead and call them whatever.

If you agree in any way with stubbazubba, feel free to leave a comment below and I will,
as always, address it and answer any questions you have.

 Now, on to the blog entry that has poor stubbazubba so exercised:

Consider this piece of equipment/rule:

Musical Instrument (small): 
This could be any old musical instrument you can carry: a violin, bagpipes, a triangle, whatever. Playing a musical instrument requires a dexterity check. Successfully playing the instrument gives you a bonus to reaction/charisma rolls with nonhostile beings able to appreciate music. Failure gives you a minus.

Now, right off there are people who'll tell you Musical Instrument (small) is wretchedly broken. Why? Because for a small price, any character with a dex over 10 can buy a piece of equipment which will give them a bonus to their charisma checks more than half the time. So (they say) half of all PCs (or more than half if you do anything but 3d6-in-order) will buy instruments and so will half of all NPCs. The upside is mechanically superior to the downside in a predictable way, and the price is an amount of gp that's negligible for any PC who has had any adventures. Period. It's a good deal--why wouldn't they take it?

Then every group is at least half musicians even if their characters are supposed to be badass Conans and austere sorcerers and various other individuals of the non-ordinarily-lute-wielding persuasion.

Now the people who'd say this are awful.

Why? Because nobody who's ever played a game would think that. Because it ignores the fact that hardly anyone is going to go to all the trouble to have their character play a fiddle if they don't want a character who plays the fiddle. It's not like you have to just say "I play the fiddle" you have to, like, talk to villagers and say what you're playing and hear jokes about the damn fiddle and, in general, take precious minutes out of the 2-4 hours they get to spend playing D&D to talk about music and villagers and trying to acquire henchmen instead of talking about sunlight falling on their steel as the bloodmist-thickened wind writhes in their ears.

If you get a fiddle it's because you want to do that. And that's fine.

And anyone who is going to do all that--someone who is going to play through a scene they don't want to play through just to get a mechanical advantage--is a boring person with no sense of style who you should kick out of your game.

And this pretty much goes for all kinds of supposedly unbalancing tactics in the game.

Yes, a balanced game is about trading that advantage for this resource: but the ultimate reward is fun and the ultimate resource is the players' time. If a player cannot see that they play for every characters' every maneuver is paid for in this most precious and unrecoverable of commodities, they are hopeless no matter what system they're in.
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Rules for HQ Construction, Spell Research and Miscellaneous Post-Creation Character Customization

1. Go to the list of locations here. There are one hundred.

2. Choose an entry. Or more than one.

3. Replace words. Any word (including names)--trade 1-for-1 and make sure the finished sentences are coherent. There is one other requirement: this is a place your character has been. They may have visited once, adventured there, been born there or whatever.  Feel free to invent anything that doesn't contradict your PC's established history. You can add a note about that to the description.

4. Send the altered text to me. You guys can overlap, it's not a big deal.

5. You'll receive one Renovation Point for each word you replace. These points are useful in getting things done quickly in Vornheim, Nornrik, or any other civilized and welcoming place you rest while you are flush with cash and the GM is in a generous mood (Special horse? New spell?). The system uses d20 rolls--so 10 points will get you a 50% chance of getting one thing done, 18 will get you a 90% chance of getting that thing done. You may spend a maximum of 18 points on any single task, but you can accumulate many more points than that if you have multiple things you'd like to get done.

6. You get 3 extra points if an entry you rewrite is interesting. 3 for each.

7. Changes to the PC and setting are subject to GM approval. The GM will tell you what's an acceptable change after you alter the text but before you choose to roll.

This is a special code for the GM: "Replace Us".

Sing The Corrosion

You could probably use the way this spell works as a template for cleric spells specific to any given god. I might've done a d20 table but Vorn just doesn't have a very diverse portfolio.

This version is for version of D&D with 9 cleric spell levels but it's easy to modify.

*

Wrath of Vorn 1 thru Wrath of Vorn 9
Level: 1-9--Cleric must choose spell level when preparing, like "I take one Wrath of Vorn 5 and 2 Wrath of Vorn 6's"
Range: 40 feet (see also below)
Area of Effect: 1 target (also see below)
Duration:  One fight or ten rounds, whichever ends first
Saving Throw: Not usually

Roll d6 when spell is cast and consult the following table, comparing the die roll to the chosen level of the spell:

Over the Wrath's chosen spell level: Rusts one targeted object (or human-sized area of a large object) beyond use. Living things and magic items get a save.
Equal: As above plus any metal the creature is wearing constricts it for cleric's level damage per round until removed.
Under by 1: Creature vomits rust-poisoned water on all allies within 10 feet, the creature is helpless for a round and the allies all take cleric's level poison damage.
Under by 2: All attacks with anything metal directed at target automatically hit for one round.
Under by 3: All metal on target rusts beyond use, living things and magic items do not get a save.
Under by 4: Victim throws self in front of the largest metal item in sight, praying before it, heedless of all danger for 2 rounds.
Under by 5: Iron vines grow from inside the target's body, lashing it to the nearest piece of anchored metal (whatever it may be), creeping overland to find an anchor point at 10 feet per round. The victim must save (dragon breath or dex) to avoid being anchored in any round the vines reach a suitable tether point. Otherwise the vines act as a (no save) Slow spell.
Under by 6: All of the above on one target or any one of the above on up to 10 targets.
Under by 7: Any result up to #5 on one target, effect is permanent.
Under by 8: Any result up to #5 on caster level number of targets, effect is permanent.

If this spell is delivered by touch then magic resistance does not apply.

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*This is the second time I've used a picture from this "torvenius" on DeviantArt so I better give credit.

6 Simple Martial Arts Systems

The problem with most martial arts systems in D&D is they either add steps to combat (thus slowing everything down), require no in-game choices (so you barely notice them in the game)--or they focus too much on individual moves (making it into, effectively, a whole second Vancian magic system where the player has to go around "collecting" lone moves unattached to any wider fighting style in order to behave differently than other PCs in combat).

So anyway I created these simple but relatively abstracted martial arts systems. Any one school should give a practitioner a slightly different feel in a fight and a dedicated PC who went around and put in the effort to learn more than one style should find themselves with a series of useful but not cumbersome or redundant abilities.

"Should"--these are untested. Feel free to test them--#1 seems to me, at the moment, the best-designed.

Consider these martial arts to be kind of like magic items--you have to adventure to find them but, once found, yeah, you're better than you used to be.

In order to learn a school of martial arts you have to:

A) Find a teacher of that school--which should be as hard as finding a magic item.

B) Spend half the xp that would be necessary to go from the bottom of the level you're at to the bottom of the next level.

1. Drownesian

If an opponent makes an attack in close combat and misses, the opponent takes damage from your automatic skillful counterstrike as if the foe had successfully struck himself/herself. This ability counts as your attack action for the round (or the next, if you've already acted), does not have to be announced in advance and can be used once per opponent in any given encounter.

(Many D&Ds give the option to "fight defensively"--not striking a blow, but improving AC by 4. This martial arts style may be used in conjunction with this combat move.)



2. Thousand Monkey Style

Look at your Wis, Dex, Str, Con and level. Take the highest one.

First, you may also treat this score as your ascending armor class when not wearing armor, or use its modifier if wearing only leather.

Second, once per day, if you fail an ability check or to-hit roll that you would have made if your score had been equal to this higher ability score, you instead succeed. (This is how wizened old men manage to kick everyone's ass in kung fu movies--they are using their level for checks.)

This style may be "relearned" multiple times to gain the ability to substitute scores more than once per day, up to a maximum of three times.

3. Northern Mountain Fist

Your damage dice explode. (This is why kung fu people use crappy weapons like throwing stars or their fists or random pieces of wood--a d4 is way more likely to explode than a d8.) If you roll max damage twice in a row when exploding and the damage die is at least d4, you add your whole level to the damage.

Also, when unarmed, your initiative improves. It is +1 if the game usually does not have initiative modifiers standard and +1d4 each round if it does.

4. Southern Island Styles

You know a series of unarmed combat moves which make your strike in combat able to act in most practical ways identically to a single melee weapon of your choice--reach, damage, space needed, etc. So, for example, if your style gave you the abilities of a chain, you'd be able to easily entangle limbs at 10'. These moves have names unrelated to the weapons they imitate so, for example, a scimitar-imitating style might be called the Raging Sting Talon.

(Bruce Lee's 1-inch punch is clearly a style that imitates a dagger--doing d4+str damage at only the distance one would need to to use a knife. A full-on flying kick would be more like a 2 handed sword--big damage, but needing a lot of room.)

You also have the option to choose a style imitating a throwable melee weapon such as a throwing axe or dagger--this allows the martial artist to leap, traveling the distance the weapon would travel, strike, and land near the target or leap back to where they began (and only there) on their melee turn. (Arrows, spears, javelins and other long-distance projectiles may not be imitated.)

Multiple Southern Island styles may be learned from the same teacher--the PC chooses the weapon in each case.


5. School of the Purple Lotus Emperor

Once per day, the character may focus ki energy and roll a d30 in lieu of whatever die or dice the situation normally calls for. The choice to roll the d30 must be made before any roll. The d30 cannot be rolled for generating character statistics or hit points.


6. School of the Golden Mantis

Gain a Kung Fu number. "Re-learning" this style of martial arts through more practice (spending more xp) can grant a PC a maximum of 5 kung fu numbers.
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So You've Decided To Rest In Town Before Going Back Into The Dungeon!

(created by Google Plus DIY D&D community in this thread) (A few notes from me are in parenthesis)

(Roll D100 once per day of rest)

1. A trading caravan arrives in town, selling unusual and exotic items from distant lands.

2. Taxman has found out about the PCs expedition, demands (roll d4) 20%, 25%, 40%, or 50% of GP found.

3. There's a fancy party and everyone important is invited, the PCs aren't.

4. Whatever passes as the town's sewer backs up and produces: (1d6)

1-3) An unwholesome encounter.

4-5) An unpleasant discovery. 

6) An unexpected windfall.

5. A group of priests on a pilgrimage is passing through. They offer (knowledge/magical healing/poison/assassination/lovemaking/skill training).

6. Another party is being feted by the local nobility for exactly the deed the PCs party has done.

7. Another party is being prosecuted by the local law for exactly the deed the PCs party has done.

8. Festival of Lies; to please the devils of deception everyone is lying today. Speaking the truth brings bad luck. (roll d4: 1-2 PCs are told immediately, 3-4 They aren't)

9. The city is re-enacting their victory against Orcish hordes twenty years ago. The city watch will be portraying the Orcs, and they're fed up with losing every year.

10. Some underground dwelling animals are collapsing one random building every night. So far 1d10 people have died.

11. Rioters are building barricades on the main street and encouraging the populace to rise up against their oppressors.

12. The dungeon denizens offer a bounty of 1.000 GP per PC, dead or alive.

13. the denizens of the town are doing their normal routines but fast asleep. Disturbing their routines makes them fall down catatonic

14. As you approach the Square of Orgos, Lord of the Dance, a miraculous site greets you. There is a hole in the center of the square. It is about 50 yards across, and, though these lands are pleasant and warm, bitter winds howl forth from the void in a blizzard of snow and sleet. From below, varicolored lights shine forth, and a pulsing, pounding beat can be heard.

15. Fox's Festivus! Folk come from farms afar for a day of sports, melee, arts & crafts, cooking, agriculture, science, alchemy, puppetry, blackmail, bribery, theft and/or foul rituals. Opposed skill check vs the best of the backward, with participants risking ridicule, injury or misfortune for gains of fame, cash and prizes.

16. The townsfolk are distraught that somebody's swiped the magic amulet off the restraining sarcophagus that stops the townsfolk from turning into vampires. It must be put back immediately.

17: A loudly proselytizing cleric steps down from his wooden crate and confronts one of the PCs telling them he has vital information that could help them, repeating some cryptic information in his tirade. Before they depart he delivers a minor prophecy of little consequence, and when the prophecy comes true later that evening afterward the cleric is nowhere to be found.

18. A local landowner starts expanding the town's waterfront. Even if there isn't a significant body of water around.

19. You Klutz. You dropped the ring (important item, key, etc.) down into the sewer! (Zak's note: I wouldn't just impose this, myself, I'd make up somebody trying to steal it.)

20. The neighbouring town starts poaching animals, goods and people. They're building some sort of giant boat/wickerman/museum.

21. The midnight wizard aspirant procession. Students done with the cloistered college life may be wooed from the sidelines to join an adventuring party.

22: An obviously poor woman struggling to carry two large baskets filled with dirty laundry is knocked down in front of the PCs by two teenage boys who run off with her small purse of coins. One of the boys is an important noble's son who is bored and whiling away his time with mischief.

23.  A chicken comes cartwheeling and sidewinding down the street between legs and through the crowd screaming "Help! He's trying to kill me! He already killed my brother!" and soon after a butcher comes chasing after the chicken. If the PC interferes, only he/she can understand the chicken (it has Int 8 and can speak to the PC but is otherwise unremarkable).

24. Local graveyard is vandalised. (1d6 3 times)

The locals blame:

1-3 Visiting adventurers (ie the PCs)

4-5 Undead

6 Local youths

It was actually:

1 Another adventuring party.

2 A hireling of the PCs. 

3-5 Bored local youths. 

6 Undead. 

It unleashes:

1-3 Mob of villagers with pitchforks.

4-5 An investigation by the watch.

6 An ancient and unspeakable curse. (ie Undead)

25. Ergotism outbreak - you shouldn't have eaten the rye-bread.  The ground erupts with demonic monkey-children and furniture comes to life, installing a despotic regime (1d6 dmg/day plus confusion  effects, save vs. poison once a day to come to your senses)

26. Revelers of the Goddes of Dentures volunteer to knock your teeth out but expect donations. Some of the townsfolk actually happily pay up, and tell you you will find mamtaftic demptures undr your millow the next day.

(You will find dentures under your pillow the next morning, delivered by 1d4th level thieves during the night. Their value is at about 50% of what you donated the day before. People who don't donate money will get a number of random teeth from random people (1-in-20 chance they're all yours).

27. Ergativity outbreak: it becomes unclear who is the subject and who the object of actions. After it's over, decide by die roll if the players robbed or were robbed, the townsfolk burned themselves or something else etc.

28. Witch Hunt! Foreigner/Traveling woman (PC or otherwise) accused of responsibility for fatal overnight combustion of a pair of townschildren and a portion of their cabin. Angry Mob led by militant preachers scour town for evidence/witches/occult-objects/justice.

29. Scandal in the marketplace as it is discovered that someone has been tainting the flour with chalk and other, less wholesome, substances. Fingers point at the miller, the merchant and the baker but each denies it was them.

30. A previous (alleged?) "conquest" from the player's night of drunken debauchery comes waddling up extremely pregnant, priest in tow, "How dare you leave me, you bastard!" 

31. Low level minion comes to town in disguise. Offers PC valuable help or insight if they kill his rival/boss on their next trip in. 1 in 6 chance its a setup.

32. That person you were speaking to yesterday. The one who was going to do that thing for you. Yes them. They've vanished. What's more nobody else has any idea who you're talking about. Even the ones who introduced you or were there. 

33. Weeping widows of the slain come to town and harangue PCs for their crimes.

34. PC wakes up, discovering that previous trip was actually eerie prophetic dream. Everything reset. Things may play out differently next time. (You keep the xp though.)

35. A cowled and cloaked redhead brushes hastily into a secluded PC, taking their hand and insistently pressing upon them a (d6): 1; Severed Finger, 2; Bloody Scarf, 3; Runic Tattoo, 4; Map, 5; Potion, 6; Magical, long lived worm of continual light. She whispers "Thank you. It's.... Just be careful" sincerely, before kissing said PC lightly on the cheek and fleeing from the sounds of a pursuing mob.

36. A silver man who is hard of hearing asks passersby the direction to the shop of the tinker named Dr Giraham Klark.

37. That person you were speaking to yesterday. The one who was going to do that thing for you. Yes them. They've vanished. What's more all the locals think you're responsible. 

38. There's some recruiting for the king's army going on, every healthy and able person who's not a vassal or tenant is pressed into service. War is coming.

39. Somebody (burned all crops/killed all cattle) and now hell breaks loose as everybody tries to hoard as much food as possible. Also, people (PCs) may be blamed (for disturbing monsters better left alone).

40. A group of youths cruelly harass a man wearing eyeshades and carrying a cane. They will be found the next morning slain with a long, slender blade.

41. Some slave traders arrived at the market, selling people the PCs may know.

42. A "bathrobed" prophet comes to town alone, claiming to know the answers to all your questions. However his answers are cryptic and explains away any confusion by claiming that inquirers do not really understand their questions. He gatherings a significant following and leaves with a significant group in tow. They never return but he may be encountered, alone, in other towns.

43. Agents of Continental/State authority pass through town, taking census and checking legitimacy of vagrants, bohemians etc. Illegals of insufficient evasion/bribery/bluffing skill are awarded (d3): 1; Fine D6x100gp, 2; 1D10 Lashes (1 damage each, save for half), or 3; Escorted to nearest city for processing.

44. Invasion! A nearby enemy has marched an army on the town and either a) (if walls) has the town surrounded and supply lines cut-off or b) (no walls) is engaged in a pitched battle with local guard/militia/townsfolk.

45.  While the PCs were raiding the dungeon, a party of dungeon denizens was raiding the town and stole all the healing potions/scrolls, which they will henceforth be using.

46. Local Baron/Burgermeister/Warlord demands levies of D10% of population's wealth, military service, or any able mounts for a raid/war/defence.

47. A prestigious mercenary company is also passing through, recruiting and flooding the market with bits of loot from their last campaign.

48. Community Chest! Random PC is the lucky recipient of the annual village prize, a randomly allocated Community Chest containing: 1 potion, 2D100gp, A fine handcrafted Cap/Scarf/Belt/or Boots, Glazed Ham, Fruit platter, fine scotch and a sturdy, embroidered blanket. CHA check to see if villagers are supportive and cheerful or sour and resentful.

49. The circus is in town! 

50. A group of 10d100 refugees arrives, fleeing an enemy heading this way. Denizens are (packing their stuff, too/trying to get rid of the refugees).

51. The city wall is being reinforced: 1) A moat is being dug out 2) a layer of brick is added 3) iron staffs are driven 10 feet into the ground to keep out tunnelers and sappers 4) new towers added 5) reinforced gates 6) double portcullises put in place. 

The work done is is of 1-2) questionable, 3-4) normal 5-6) outstanding quality due to/despite 1-2) heavy bribing of the work force 3-4) the burgers financing this themselves 5-6) the queen paying for the security of her subjects.

52. You buy very smelly cheese rations. Very smelly.

53. Brawl! PCs aggressed by braviards whilst vulnerable in bathrooms/bedrooms/bar etc. D6 damage to each PC (or resolve an unarmed combat against 6 professional ruffians).

54. The PCs learn that another adventuring party has beaten them to something/quest they were planning to do/go after.

  

55. A scruffy young man offers the party 10gp to paste up a stack of posters around town. Non-locals must make an appropriate skill check to realize the posters are seditious before they get caught carrying them.

56.  During the night a horse/amorous couple/stableboy knocks over a lamp in the Inn's stables.  You awake to the smoke as the Inn itself catches fire.  Grab what you can!

57. You happen to bump into an extremely important NPC who is (perhaps uncharacteristically) alone and could use some assistance. This could go very well or very poorly for you.

58. Harvest, repairs, wrangling, weird rituals or some other business needs some extra doing, offering able bodied PCs a chance to earn 2D6gp each (or more if they can save a bunch of labour with magic). CHA check to befriend some local colleague/employer.

59. A lovely moon shines down on the city tonight, and it's unusually mild and nice. People bring out benches and barbeques, and relish in a night that is as peaceful as it should be.

60. Fire! The baker's catches alight during the night and is quickly engulfed. Fire spreads quickly across the merchant district and threatens the surrounding town. There is a 4/6 chance that the fire could burn for days, dying down then rekindling when everyone's guard is down. Unless drastic action is taken most of the town could be consumed.

Rumours spread even faster than the flames that the fire is no accident. Outsiders are blamed and many are attacked by angry locals. The local Nobles send out their own agents to protect important outsiders but others are murdered in the streets. 

The PCs, irrespective of personal standing and acts of heroism, are liable to come under attack by locals during and after the blaze. 

After the fire the town eventually recovers, with a new street layout and innovative architecture. 

61. Returning to the hostel, a small crowd chokes the street, some in retreat. Loud retching can be head near the front of the crowd. 1D6 individuals stand outside the the hostel doubled over dry heaving or actively void their bowels. More stumble from the inns doors in varied states of distress. And this is where you're sleeping!

62. Everybody in the town is the Padre's protégé, and so are you if you stay for more than one night. Payday.

63. There are a whole heap of filthy, spiteful rats in a bunch of the town's basements, and the PCs are offered D6x50gp/XP to clear the things out. It's filthy work and no hiding it; participants must save CON/poison or take D6 damage and lose 2 from all attributes for D3 days from illness.

64.  You accidentally run afoul of a silly and ridiculous local ordinance (such as camels can only cross in the middle of the street or hats may not have a purple feather on Tuesdays).  Whether or not it is true, the watch patrol is shaking you down for a donation for the Watchmen's Benevolent Association.

65. Nuns Errant, robed in grey and rusty orange, shuffle into town, bearing censers, wagons and animals. For inflated prices they sell combat trained foxes, cruel copper spiders, clerical scrolls, foreign maps, tomes of fact, tomes of fiction, everburning candles, love potions and graceful, glorious steeds with shimmering bronze manes.

66. One of the town's priests tells everybody to cover their door posts with the blood of a lamb because an angel of his/her deity will come this night and kill everybody who didn't follow the advice. The denizens (do as told/hang the priest), the angel (does appear/doesn't appear). 

67. Census.  The forces that be need to take down everyone's name, age, and riffle through their stuff in order to estimate their worth.

68. Manic Itinerant Preacher, Edson De Villiers, employs logical fallacies and insulting rhetoric to rally impressionable youths in the town square for questionable forest cult membership (Future quest?). CHA check by sufficiently angered and inspiring PC may break up the foolishness and sway D6 youths (light irregular infantry) to join them for meagre food and pay.

69 Farmers' fair. Farmers from around six hexes come to town to show off their bestest produce. As tradition demands, the first price is a choice of an oxen or a cart full of second price entrants.

70. Villager of D100 years and random gender is dragged into the streets and savagely beaten with stikkes. Dies of wounds and eaten by stray cats/badgers in D6 hours, alone in the street, wailing and in agony.

71. A noble's wedding isn't perfect without some colorful guests like the PCs.

72. A noble's wedding isn't perfect without some colourful attraction... like some wretched, unnatural creature, dragged from the cursed depths and locked in a cage for entertainment. Reward of HDx100gp for any such creatures delivered in the next D10 days, doubled if sufficient discretion allows the noble to claim responsibility.

73: A breeding program is executed in this town, everybody with an ability score of 16+ in Str, Con, Dex, or Cha qualifies automatically and is asked for participation (10d10 gp per offspring).

74: A Freakshow Carnival comes to town! Carnival Barkers attempt to recruit all demi-humans maybe even resorting to kidnapping if they are particularly freakish. Rigged games of chance have a base  10% chance of success and 50% of the time return counterfeit coin or cursed prizes.

75: In the middle of the night, a cat wanders into where the PC's sleep, and speaks to one of them (random roll), "foretelling" her/his death the next day. Said PC must save vs fear in the first combat encounter of the next day.

76. In combination with the city's coldest month, it's also Earthquake season and a minor tremor has busted all the door locks in a particular residential district. Looters abound.

77. A band of (half orc barbarians/giants/half ogres) has come to town, offering their services for 1d10 gp/person and day. Several nobles and guild leaders are intrigued to settle their quarrel with their help.

77. It's the annual ballgame with the next closest town! 80% of the citizens are out somewhere between this town and the next. Mobs from both towns try to get the "ball" inside the limits of the opposing polity.

  

78. A random Petty God is in town, doing their thing: https://www.dropbox.com/s/s8pu4s9kliv2q42/Original%20Petty%20Gods%20-%20OPG.pdf?m

79. You "win" the Traveler Lottery. (as in: Shirley Jackson)

80. The gates are locked behind you as enter and the ward is quarantined; time to bust out the plague masks. What kind of Death is it? [1] Black; [2] Red; [3] Blistering White; [4] Divine retribution for something the PCs did. 

81. You wake up in the morning to a mob gathered outside the inn. They are (coin toss) [heads]: Devotees and would-be sycophants;  [tails]: Religious fanatics calling for your death.   

82. Enough people have gone missing that someone has noticed. Investigation reveals it's slavers from the coast, taking people downriver packed in barrels. They have that jiggly amber guck all over them, like you find in a canned ham.

83. Kensai-equivalent seeks out party warrior, demanding a duel. Beat her and (1d4): [1] You get to keep her weapon; [2] She swears fealty for a year and a day; [3] She returns in a week with her followers and kills you and everyone who witnessed her loss; [4] She dogs you as a villain for a few episodes before siding with you against a greater threat.      

84. Sellswords' Candlemas: If the PCs light a black candle for, and can recount the name of every PC and hireling that has passed since the formation of the company, they earn a +d4 bonus to Luck until the next new moon. (Miss any and their ghosts haunt you until you put their spirits to rest.)

85. Streets filled with local religious festival, potentially involving fasting (50%), feasting (70%), self-flagellation (40%), sacrifice (40%, with rolls under 10% indicating human sacrifice) and abstaining from normal business practices (80%). Festival lasts 1d12 days; participation or lack of participation are equally likely to cause offense unless the characters are charming (charisma check) or familiar with the rites (intelligence check for clerics).

86. A funeral procession for a beloved, local mage or cleric. Dozens of students, followers, henchmen, fans, etc. The crew from a rival school/church have set an ambush and will attack!

87. Doppleganger disguised as apprentice causes explosion at local pyromancer's guild. It is possible several experimental lab specimens have escaped.

88. Wolfschuhnacht - Every year on this date an indefinite number of wolves stroll into town wearing striped woolen socks on every paw. The locals know to leave at least 2 pairs of old shoes or boots outside their door for the wolves, but it's been happening so long they didn't think they had to tell the PCs about it. 

89. A 1d4-th level assassin is hired to kill one of the player characters.

90. While sitting watching the bustle of the town one random PC dozes off. They awake to find their purse gone.

91. Unintended Consequences: If the PCs engage in a interior brawl, there is a 1-in-4 chance a lantern gets knocked over. The resulting conflagration destroys d100% of the town. 

92. One of the PCs gets a sudden craving for a delicacy from their home town. They must make a save versus something Wisdom related or take a -2 to all tasks for 2d6 days or until they can satisfy their craving.

93. People see strange things in a building in town. 50% chance it's really haunted.

94. While sitting around waiting for something the party rogue finds themselves in the perfect position to engage in some petty larceny. 

95. A continuously enlarging man shouting "STERN!" tries to smash his way out of the town. A small group of adventurers pursue him.

96. While sitting together in a tavern the party are approached by an elderly man in a cowled robe. He offers them a job. (1d6)

1-3) He needs someone to do his gardening or similar chores.

4) He is a member of a secretive mystery cult and had lost a vital piece of cult paraphernalia which he needs help recovering.

5) He's mistaken them for assassins and wants them to kill someone. 

6) It's a setup. His lackeys are waiting to ambush the party at a prearranged location.

97. Damn that Ale Was Strong: Fort save, DC 10 / Save vs. Poison. On a failed save, make d6 rolls on the Carousing Table. 

98. Hellmouth. Without warning the workhouse/orphanage collapses into a pitch black sinkhole. Besides the cloud of dust dissipating from the hole, only the highest peak of the roof can be seen, everything else fading to blackness. The screams of the dying or about to die carry on the hot air pouring from the hole: "It's after ME! Help!" is heard over and over.

99. PC is approached by a mongrel (1d7) [1] house cat; [2] small but vicious dog; [3] monkey; [4] pseudodragon; [5] sad-eyed golem; [6] large rat; [7] not-quite-evil-enough imp. If treated with kindness, becomes pet/familiar. 

100. Weather changes dramatically and unexpectedly; reroll on weather table, or change fair weather to foul and vice-versa.  Roll twice on following table, once for actual cause and once for the generally accepted cause by locals:

1. Rogue wild magic in the area,

2. Spell cast by nearby spellcaster,

3. Intervention of the gods,

4. Result of the prayers at the local temple.

5. Freak weather patterns,

6. Prophecy or Seeing,

7. Previously unknown ability of a magical item the PCs are carrying,

8. A shifting of the planes blurring realities together.

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This table exists because I needed one last night and was forced to use a a shitty one in an even shittier published product which required you to roll 2d6 2-3 times on tables spread out over 4 pages.

I really love that, right before I go to bed I can write "Ok we need a d100 table of town events while you're resting to go back into the dungeon" and I wake up and it's done, no entries need to be edited out, there's no gazebo jokes, maybe a thimbleful of typos and it's at least twice as good as the thing in the overpriced published product.

Truly a tribute to the power of knowing who to kick out of your Google plus circles.

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