A dwarf missing a foot.
A second level elf with a 4 Dex, Unseen Servant, and Tenser's Floating Disc
A second level wizard with 4 hit points, Read Languages, Mending, and, on account of a run-in with the Death & Dismemberment Table, no penis.
How do you kill a giant flaming boss monster cobra with more hit points than the whole party put together?
Step One: Purchase 20 pigs.
Step Two: Tie pigs together.
Step Three: Survive random encounters triggered by noise pigs make going down into dungeon.
Step Four: Have dwarf use stonecunning to figure out how to crack 1000 lb statue in antechamber to Giant Flaming Cobra Room in half.
Step Five: Have elf cast Tenser's Floating Disc twice.
Step Six: Have dwarf and henchmen lever each 500 lb half of statue onto a Disc. Remember: Discs float 3 feet above the ground but otherwise can be moved around by elf (at least in Labyrinth Lord).
Step Seven: Maneuver Discs onto either side of door to Giant Flaming Cobra Room.
Step Eight: Open door, send in hogs.
Step Nine: Wait for cobra to surge toward hogs.
Step Ten: As cobra moves between statues, have elf move Discs as close together as possible while have wizard casts Mending on statue, thus crushing the snake between the two mating halves of statue.
Step Eleven: Remind DM that even if cobra makes save, it will have a 1000 lb labret piercing.
Step Twelve: Watch cobra fail save.
Step Three: Mock fleeing necromancer whose god you just killed.
|It's true, this man has no dick. And killed a giant cobra with Mending.|