Monday, January 10, 2011

"It's Ok, Gary sent us"

This picture from the original D&D Little Brown Books is here so that Will Mistretta will not have to see real boobs on his front page. And because it is funny.

By Cookie Corey.


  1. Beautiful Witch Amazon Sailor Crisis Powers activate!

  2. So is this the original rule's version of Morgan Ironwolf?

  3. Is 'Beautiful' a class or an alignment in OD&D? Either way, that's my next PC.

    And coming up: Is a crappy representation of real 1970s breasts less real than a lifelike representation of 2010s surgically augmented breasts in fantasy art? A zombie death-match between Baudrillard and Edwin Meese decides it, winner takes all!

  4. I figured this was the picture to which you were referring.

    But I don't know why you feel it's funny. It has formed the foundation for my understanding of women since I became a teenager. It's pretty much an either/or kind of thing.

  5. From the way she's standing, I think Ms Beautiful Witch may be a little drunk.

    Ms Amazon is definitely smashed.

  6. Though it is quite two dimensional still, I think "Beautiful Witch" vs. "Amazon" is a significantly better way to divide women than "Madonna" and "Whore".

  7. I for one like "beautiful witches" better conceptually than Amazons but like that drawing of the "Amazon" an awful lot. Though I'm not into the weird butt-cape she's got on.

    I don't think Miss Amazon is smashed either. If I had that outfit (and I have some similar) I'd walk around posing like that stone cold sober. And I do. The witch however has some serious fashion problems and does indeed look tipsy.

  8. @Chris Lowrance, oh god, yes.

    @Gratuitous Saxon Violence & @DarkTouch, yeah, the first thing I thought when I saw this was "it is a step better than Madonna/Whore.

    @Mandy doesn't your job sometimes involve walking around posing in the equivalent of that Amazon costume?

  9. Please post the Elf for all the Gen Y type IV D&D folks!

  10. Maybe butt-capes will make a comeback.

  11. @mordicai

    You know, say what you will about Sailor Moon, but I always found the villains disturbing. They were always like weird animate store manikins of an alien race.

    On the Witch: I like a lot of things about old school DnD, but I do not miss pointy hats.

  12. @Mandy:
    the flowing skirt thingy:
    I was thinking since this was fantasy, it'd be called an Ass-Veil or something. Butt-cape is cool, too.(Thematically appropriate in a Supers game!)

    In most game art, it seems to merely mean 'female fighter', doesn't it? Though the D&D pic above seems to my mind more representative of a noble at a costume party or something. But, ya know, the 70's!

    Beautiful Witches:
    Morgana Le Fay, Maleficent, Circe, etc... With ya on that one!

    @Chris Lowrance:
    Sailor Moon:
    All of it is disturbing! :-)

    Pointy Hats:
    At one point, they seemed to be pretty much required for male wizards!

  13. I don't know what you have against butt capes... I'm wearing one right now and it looks smashing.

  14. Mandy, fair enough. I'd guess context probably plays a factor too, but I would question the sobriety of anyone wearing a butt-cape. Sorry Limpey.

  15. Fantasy RPG art should have more well-dressed ladies like them, instead of all the padded and layered-on body-condom armor seen in Type IV games!

    Bare boobs are awesome! Pointy hats are cool! Ass-capes are sexy! Above all, bare boobs, with pointy hats and ass-capes KICKS ASS!!! :D

  16. I just have to acknowledge that "It's okay, Gary sent us" is a fantastic post-title choice given its new context. I imagine the hobgoblins would be equally confused.

  17. @Malcadon:
    Is 'dressed' the word for the lady on the right? Body Condom armor; hilarious! Ya it doesn't look that functional. Wayne Reynolds(who like draws it all![Seriously, even for Paizo!]) seems to be using sort of an anime look for his armor. Oh, and Dunce Caps are pointy! :-)

  18. "January 2011 came to be known as the Great OSR Blogger schism. While the arguments over ascending AC, whether Labyrinth Lord or OSRIC was best, or if bloggers should be forced to playtest their ideas before posting them all faded into the background, the fierce debate over the merits, or lack thereof, of the butt-cape was the dispute which finally tore the community apart." - Funny Shaped Dice: The History of the Hobby, Maliszewski & Rients, Oxford University Press, 2021.

  19. @kelvingreen:

    Great OSR Blogger schism:
    Isn't there one every 2-3 months, really?

    LL vs. OSRIC:
    OSRIC 1st or Second Printing?
    Correct answer is the Vornheim House System, of course, triumphing due to a run-in and a foreign object.

    You mean the Ass-veil? ;-)

    Funny Shaped Dice: The History of the Hobby, Maliszewski & Rients, Oxford University Press, 2021.:
    Is it odd I totally believe that book will be written?

  20. @velaran:

    One has only riding boots, panties, and some sort of ass-vail-thingy, and the other has a magic dunce-cap, and a nightgown with necklace-like belt that are barely staying on her tipsy ass, so yeah, they are both appropriately dress. ;)

    I use "Body Condom" a lot to describe my annoyance with all the over-layered armor and clothing used in RPGs these days. Wayne Reynold's art leaves a foul taste in mouth - the faces of his figures can be rated "corpse" on the Uncanny Valley scale! And yes, he and Lockwook love dishing out the body condoms. I have seen a lot of great armor designs from Japanimation (yes, I still use that word, and they still like to keep things skimpy), but most of the armor seen in RPGs these days look like that loud, garish Photoshop art found in South Koran MMORPGs. :/

    Oh, as a well-venerated class-clown, I have a lot of pride in the dunce-cap - even magical ones. ;P

  21. If you have to write "beautiful witch" next to your beautiful witch, you're probably not a very good artist.

  22. @Will

    Ha! I do think someone was told "draw Princess Guinevere" and then later they needed a witch instead.

  23. Did you know there's a blog with this name?

  24. Love the amazon!

    And: Boobs are a MUST HAVE in my rpgs! :D