Thursday, June 24, 2010

Like, Seriously No Dignity In Death

The most humiliating way to die?

How about: Being turned into a pig, then sodomized with a unicorn horn, then eaten. By your friends.

Maybe it's not the most humiliating possible death, but it's seriously the fuck up there.

I am not going to blog it up now, because it happens in the filmed campaign, so you'll get to see it around about October.

But, so, anyway--if you're ever watching "Axe" and wondering "Where is all this going?" It is going to a PC being turned into a pig, then sodomized with a unicorn horn, then eaten.

And none of it was my idea.


  1. Turned into a pig
    Violated and eaten
    Dignity denied

  2. Wow. Like, now how will I ever wait until October.

    What KIND of pig? It would make a difference.

  3. I've got a couple of KK directed films, so I'd say that might have sprung from her beautiful mind.

  4. Well, at least there are no Necromancers in the party. They can add all kinds of after death "fun".

  5. Damn! Your players have just out-weirded some of the freakiest I've known. My congratulations to them!

  6. Yeah, I can't wait to learn how this degenerates into Lord of the Flies.

  7. My God. Your players are my players.

    The crystallizing moment of our group, the thing that caused the party to cohere and everyone to decide to come back for more week after week, was when, in the earliest days of 3E, the characters, in their first adventure, as 0XP L1 mooks, picked the wrong path through Thieves In The Forest and met the wererat almost first. They had no magic or silver weapons, of course, but they found him in his lair.

    The room description mentions the chest full of silver coins.

    Aimee (the KK of my gaming group) said "Silver, huh? OK. I scoop up a handful of coins, and then I fist the wererat."

    So naturally, I said, "roll to hit."

    And naturally she rolled a 20.

    It's been like that ever since.

  8. Holy carp, and I thought my players were messed up...

  9. um...

    a marketing effort towards fatalites?


  10. Humph. I though the groups Barbarian (Hans or was it Franz, I can never tell the two apart) one punching the new PC cleric to death by "accident" was whack ...

  11. And there I was thinking that killing a unicorn was the worst they'd do...

    All you guys out there? Girl gamers. Be *warned*.

  12. nice. reminds me of being 15 and playing WFRP in school library!

  13. I know Zak uses the term
    "And none of it was my idea."
    but for the life of my I somehow read
    "And none of it was my FAULT."
    I'm not sure what that says about my DMing style. Or my Han Solo fixation.

  14. I played in a game in college where the DM, a bit of a doofus, presented the party with a lonely, sad Ogre who only wanted the party to stay a while and try his soup. Which was drugged, naturally, and one of the characters (not mine!) was sodomized to death by the ogre, although noise woke the rest of the party who were able to escape. (I don't think we played a second time.)

    But I have never played in a game where the players sodomized another player to death with a unicorn horn, that is a new one.

  15. @Adam

    That's the best thing I've ever read. I heart Aimee.

  16. I know it's a little late, but I have a question regarding the unicorn horn.

    Is it still attached to the Unicorn? If it is, is the unicorn still alive?

    And if the unicorn is still alive, how did they manage to use its horn?