Deep within the jungles of Drownesia lies the Black Pyramid.
And deep within the Pyramid wallows The Viscid King:
Anyway, this wasn't the first thing the players noticed about the Viscid King. The first thing they noticed was that he was a fat disgusting slug monster that had to die. This impression was possibly abetted by the fact that I represented him on the tabletop with a polish sausage left over from lunch:
|(Likely also abetted by the fact that when Laney jabbed him with a poisoned rapier I represented his acidic vomit by spitting on the table. I'm awful.)|
|Laney's halfling ranger took his crown and I put him in the fridge.|
And while traversing the Plane of Shadow they met a Shadow Minister on the cobbled streets. He was alarmed that he could no longer feel the presence of the Viscid King--for only when the King finally chose a new Viridian Knight to lead the Armies of the Jade Fang would the Shadow Minister be released from his planar tether to the Black Pyramid.
|"What has become of the Viscid King?" asked the Shadow Minister.|
|"I'm the new king!" Laney joked, brandishing his stolen crown.|
|"Excellent!" said the Shadow Minister and pointed to her.|
|"Laney," the GM said "you gain (roll roll) 53 pounds".|
|"WHAT THE FUCK!?!" said Laney|
She continued to gain d100 pounds each round and her skin began to pale and speckle. She became ever more slugly. "It was just a joke!" Laney cried (failing a charisma roll)--but the Shadow Minister insisted there must be a replacement king. How else could a new Viridian Knight one day be found? How else could the Minister escape?
The players were frantic: Could the curse that tied the Minister to the Pyramid be lifted? Could he be killed? Could another king be found, could...
"I'll be the Viridian Knight!" said Laney.
…and in one stroke, the quiet ranger took up the panoply of war and the modest halfling took on a terrible burden.
…"though I don't know what that means."
The new, strange armor crept across her diminishing body.