One Simple Step To "Weird"

1. Take everything not weird and change it.

Not weird:

Ptolus is a major city of about seventy-five thousand people. It is located in the land of Palastan near a large bay on the southern end of the Whitewind Sea.

Weird:

Vrokk is a major city of about seventy-five thousand people. It is located in The Empire of Madness near a rock island floating 30' in mid air on the southern end of The Cerulean Forest.

Not Weird:

...it lies in the shadow of an impossibly tall (almost three thousand feet) and thin pinnacle of rock known simply as the Spire.

Weird:

….it lies in the shadow of an impossibly tall (almost three thousand feet) and thin pinnacle of rock known simply as the Tower of Inexplicable Idiocy.

Not Weird:

If the stories are correct, these catacombs include:
1.The sewers of the city.
2.Vast stretches of subterranean passages and chambers created by Ghul and his minions
3.The remains of an even older city.
4.An abandoned underground dwarven settle- ment called Dwarvenhearth.
5.And levels that plunge incredibly deep below the present urban area.

Weird:

If the stories are correct, these catacombs include:
1.The divination chambers of the Tenebriate Guild.
2.Vast stretches of subterranean passages and chambers created by Screel Hak and his minions
3.The remains of an even older city.
4.An abandoned underground jackalman settlement called Naqqara .
5.And levels that plunge incredibly deep below the present urban area.

Not Weird:

The city is ostensibly ruled by a council, at whose head is the Commissar, a representative of the Empire of Tarsis. The other main council members are Kirian Ylestos, the Prince of the Church, and the Mother Superior of the Sisterhood of Silence (see below). Other City Council members (with less influence) include guildmasters, the heads of the noble houses, and a few wealthy merchants. People of the town often refer to this body as the “Council of Coin,” because money is a powerful and influential force among its members.

Weird:

The city is ostensibly ruled by a female beggar, whose half-coherent alcoholic ravings are interpreted by agents of the Empire of Madness. These agents are Stoya Sel Nirik, the Baroness of the Fourth Doom, and the Child Inchoate of the Sisterhood of Need (see below). Other agents (with less influence) include guildbarons, the heads of the houses of mathematics, and a few wealthy choirmasters. People of the town often refer to this body as the “Council of The Drowned,” because their meetings take place in chambers half-filled with plum-colored liquid. (This ensures civility, as violent disagreements inevitably result in one or the other of the contenders being knocked from his or her floating platform into the poisonous ichor.)

Not Weird:

Helping to enforce the law is a special order of monks called the Sisterhood of Silence. These nonspeaking female monks patrol the streets and apprehend criminals, even though they are not— strictly speaking—sanctioned to do so officially. A male eunuch always accompanies a small unit of the Sisters of Silence to speak on their behalf.

Weird:

Helping to enforce the law is a special order of parasites called the Sisterhood of Need. These small, moist beings dwell in the ale sold in low haunts and crawl into the stomachs of criminals, even though they are not— strictly speaking—sanctioned to do so officially. A male eunuch always accompanies a small unit of the Sisters of Need to speak on their behalf.