Monday, November 7, 2011

One Simple Step To "Weird"

1. Take everything not weird and change it.

Not weird:

Ptolus is a major city of about seventy-five thousand people. It is located in the land of Palastan near a large bay on the southern end of the Whitewind Sea.

Weird:

Vrokk is a major city of about seventy-five thousand people. It is located in The Empire of Madness near a rock island floating 30' in mid air on the southern end of The Cerulean Forest.

Not Weird:

...it lies in the shadow of an impossibly tall (almost three thousand feet) and thin pinnacle of rock known simply as the Spire.

Weird:

….it lies in the shadow of an impossibly tall (almost three thousand feet) and thin pinnacle of rock known simply as the Tower of Inexplicable Idiocy.

Not Weird:

If the stories are correct, these catacombs include:
1.The sewers of the city.
2.Vast stretches of subterranean passages and chambers created by Ghul and his minions
3.The remains of an even older city.
4.An abandoned underground dwarven settle- ment called Dwarvenhearth.
5.And levels that plunge incredibly deep below the present urban area.

Weird:

If the stories are correct, these catacombs include:
1.The divination chambers of the Tenebriate Guild.
2.Vast stretches of subterranean passages and chambers created by Screel Hak and his minions
3.The remains of an even older city.
4.An abandoned underground jackalman settlement called Naqqara .
5.And levels that plunge incredibly deep below the present urban area.

Not Weird:

The city is ostensibly ruled by a council, at whose head is the Commissar, a representative of the Empire of Tarsis. The other main council members are Kirian Ylestos, the Prince of the Church, and the Mother Superior of the Sisterhood of Silence (see below). Other City Council members (with less influence) include guildmasters, the heads of the noble houses, and a few wealthy merchants. People of the town often refer to this body as the “Council of Coin,” because money is a powerful and influential force among its members.

Weird:

The city is ostensibly ruled by a female beggar, whose half-coherent alcoholic ravings are interpreted by agents of the Empire of Madness. These agents are Stoya Sel Nirik, the Baroness of the Fourth Doom, and the Child Inchoate of the Sisterhood of Need (see below). Other agents (with less influence) include guildbarons, the heads of the houses of mathematics, and a few wealthy choirmasters. People of the town often refer to this body as the “Council of The Drowned,” because their meetings take place in chambers half-filled with plum-colored liquid. (This ensures civility, as violent disagreements inevitably result in one or the other of the contenders being knocked from his or her floating platform into the poisonous ichor.)

Not Weird:

Helping to enforce the law is a special order of monks called the Sisterhood of Silence. These nonspeaking female monks patrol the streets and apprehend criminals, even though they are not— strictly speaking—sanctioned to do so officially. A male eunuch always accompanies a small unit of the Sisters of Silence to speak on their behalf.

Weird:

Helping to enforce the law is a special order of parasites called the Sisterhood of Need. These small, moist beings dwell in the ale sold in low haunts and crawl into the stomachs of criminals, even though they are not— strictly speaking—sanctioned to do so officially. A male eunuch always accompanies a small unit of the Sisters of Need to speak on their behalf.

12 comments:

Phil said...

Awesome.

dungeonsandimaginings said...

The Sisterhood of Need is genuinely creepy

And I love how you give a nod to Ptolus any time you reference your style of city/setting building. Reminds me of that picture you posted up of the two books next to one another.

John said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
John said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
J Blanchard said...

On the last day of each year, thirteen random beggars are teleported to the top of the Tower of Inexplicable Idiocy. The one who reaches the bottom first becomes the city's new leader. Others who manage to survive are granted modest provisions, branded, and sentenced to exile. What happens to leaders when their terms expire is uncertain.

The tradition attracts herds of beggars from around the world, all hoping to become the city's next leader.

Dan said...

Awesomeness... Although I think it almost goes beyond weird and into "baroque".

Talking of weird cities, I got my copy of Vornheim in the post today (I know I know, I'm lagging behind). It smells gooood! And reads even better. Thanks Zak & co.

Zak S said...

@troll

No. As I said earlier, your total didn't-read-the-post-but-kept-typing-anyway thing on the last post you commented on (comments left up) indicate that you are probably just an insane person or a troll. So I have decided on an always-delete-everything-from-you policy no matter what the content.

If you would like to petition that you are not insane and thereby should be allowed to comment, please send an email to me explaining how what you posted there had to do with the post it was supposed to be a comment on.

John said...

In retrospect his name was kind of a giveaway.

B said...

So, I'm going to risk it and make a side comment here, that has nothing to do with your post above.

I was standing in an alley behind a bar last night with some people when one of them turned their smart phone towards me to show me a picture of some poor bear in a zoo that had been shaved. I had two thoughts simultaneously.

1. I wonder what Zak S would do with that picture?
2. How can I put THAT into my current Pathfinder game?

I blame you for my current obsession with making the fantasy games I run more strange.

Melpomene said...

Nice to see that you have gotten Flattr for the blog! It really is a site worth flattring! Keept it up! :D

Dan said...

B; sadly that used to happen a lot a few hundred years ago. Look up "pig-faced women".

Weird WWII said...

Weird is the best place to be! Although I don't RP much anymore I find my miniature wargaming nothing but weird with Nazi She-Wolves, Tesla-Cannon armed US airborne, haunted tanks, zombie flesh fields and Captain America knocking the shit outta 'ol Uncle Adolf himself. Just stick "WEIRD" in front of any genera and you will have a hell of a lot more fun in gaming in it then before.

Brian