Tuesday, September 24, 2013

The Masticators

The Masticators are pair of carnivorous quadrupedal demons from the 453rd layer of the Abyss.

They have three attacks per round, immunity from ordinary weapons, reflect magic 70% of the time and are appalling in a variety of other ways none have lived to record.

Luckily, they are currently entrapped within a pair of panther statues on the south end of a black jade bridge in the Arcology of Cyanotica Bast and there's no reason they'd ever get free unless another demon offered an elf some wine and the guy elf went "Do you have anything stronger?" and the demon reached into his own mouth and pulled out a steaming goat skull filled with some pustulent liquid and the elf went and drank it, causing his arms and legs to fall off and the party tied him up and took him outside by the bridge and decided to pour mutagen in the elf's mouth and the elf rolled on a d1000 table for 6 mutations and in the course of becoming a regenerating, magic-immune, crested, golem-demon-lord with a fear of shoes also acquired a (d1000...) hatred of (d4 roll...see: Animals table, d100 roll...) panthers and immediately went and attacked the otherwise harmless but unnerving pair of statues and freed them.

But, seriously, what are the chances of that?
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5 comments:

  1. If I'm rolling the dice, the chance is 9 out of 10, I suspect. And I don't mean "rolling behind a screen", I don't do that.
    Don't ask me why, though, my dice rolls always make probability take a hint from Pratchett.

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  2. Murphy's Law and the Rule of Cool probably bump that to a good 50% at least....

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  3. RPG rule#3: mutagen can eventually lead to Bebop and Rock Steady (?)

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