Monday, July 4, 2011

A Unique Blend of Optimism, Straightforwardness, and Poorly-Focused Aggression

From the people who brought you The Ramones, Batman, Faster Pussycat Kill! Kill!, and the pump action shotgun...
America.
Always Angry--Never Bitter.
Happy 4th!

28 comments:

kelvingreen said...

Stop undermining legitimate patriotism!

School Master said...

@kelvingreen: ROFLMAO.

School Master said...

Zak is probably masturbating while watching "The Patriot" and "1776" as well.

Zak S said...

Unfortunately I came as soon as I heard the first bottle rocket go off, so I got nothing left.

Trey said...

The Ramones, Batman, Faster Pussycat Kill! Kill!, and the pump action shotgun

Those are indeed among our finest accomplishments as a people.

Gert said...

You look a helluvalot like Spider Jerusalem there :D

Cant find the exact image but I found a papercraft doll instead so Im quitting while ahead! ( http://www.cubeecraft.com/cubee/spider-jerusalem )

mordicai said...

Gert has a point. Spider J all the way.

Mandy Morbid said...

I for one am bitter and as a legal American Green Card holding Permanent Resident and a Canadian I disapprove of patriotism as a general rule.

Mandy Morbid said...

But I do have a thing for punk tattooed American men....not into Canadian men.

winter said...

Well Mandy, as someone who served in the armed forces and fought people who would stone a women like you to death, I think patriotism is a good thing.

Zak S said...

@winter

Joined blogger just to say that? Patriotism is indeed a powerful force.

Anyway--if you wanna argue politics with Mandy, do it on her blog. This one's strictly for arguing about owlbears and random pit-trap generators.

drcheckmate said...

@Winter: In deference to the gracious host, I'll not take that bait...

OW! I bit my tongue. damn it.

@Zak: Awesome. Thanks for this.

TheCramp said...

Just learned that the Angry Samoans first ever gig was opening for Roky Erickson and the Aliens. This is a great country.

Scott said...

As I mentioned into the ether yesterday, I'm sincerely happy to live in a land of such plenty that billions are spent trying to teach people how not to eat so much food that they fucking die.

limpey said...

I would find it impossible to resist any product offered by a pitchman wearing a patriotic hat at such a jaunty angle.

winter said...

@ Zak,

Naw, been on blogger for months. Just offended by what your girl said so I'll leave it at that.

Mandy Morbid said...

@winter,

I'm pen pals with some guys over in Afghanistan and they'd be offended by your comment. The I Hit It With My Axe girls have officially adopted a platoon over there and I don't consider any of those actions to be "patriotic" but compassionate.

I'm sure the guys who would stone me think they're being patriotic fighting you.

It goes both ways. Patriotism and religion and greed when taken to extremes--and American loves it's extremes--lead to nothing but suffering.

Mandy Morbid said...

Oh P.S: They're very bitter, those guys I correspond with who haven't been able to come home yet.

Zak S said...

@mandy
@winter

please fight somewhere else

Mandy Morbid said...

@Zak, you incited this, just so you know. You do look very very attractive in that photo though.

Pere Ubu said...

I can't believe nobody's 'shopped a pair of live shades onto that picture along with the caption "TO ME, FILTHY ASSISTANTS!"

You guys are lying down on the job, I swear.

Gert said...

Pere: like this then? (a quicky)
http://files.cone.be/2011/Transmet_zakmerica.png

Blair said...

I hate to say this but there's a real "Member of Good Charlotte" vibe goin' on in that picture...

Zak S said...

@blair

I hate to say this but I did not actually take this picture because I thought it made me (or my country) look like a paragon of dignity and good taste.

R.W. Chandler said...

America fuck yeah!

crowking said...

@ Mandy


I noticed on your blog/website you like Wong Kar Wai’s “Fallen Angels". That's one of the coolest films of all time. I actually got to meet and hangout with Chris Doyle( the cinematographer) In SF a few years back in a bar. Crazy ass guy, but an absolute genius. The man loves his alcohol too.

I know this has noting to do with D&D, but heck...I had to say it.

Blair said...

Well, Good Charlotte does serve as a potent symbol of contemporary America...

drcheckmate said...

I would like to extend an invite to anyone here:
http://drcheckmate.wordpress.com/funny-word
Come on over and continue the off topic discussion.

On a related note, I almost bought a bottle of that stars and stripes bug juice yesterday based solely on this pitch. But, I resisted.