Now that Type IV D&D is soon to be an ex-game, it is my solemn duty as a game blogger to explain how, actually, all the 4e books are secretly madly frothing fonts of ludolomantic wisdom.
Speaking of fonts, everything below in Courier is from the 4e Monster Manual:
A manticore flings iron spikes from its tail.
You could probably write an essay all about how the 4e monster manual entry starts with what a manticore hits you with while every other edition's manual probably starts with, like, what a manticore is, but someone probably already wrote that essay and it pissed people off. There's a picture, you get the idea.
What's actually interesting is the spikes are iron.
So: iron spike tail manticore. I want Patrick on that. Is manticorism actually just a digestive disfunction of ordinary men, where you take things in through your human mouth but the further the food gets from your face, the more chemically alienated it becomes--human then lion, then bat, then not even the animal kingdom anymore? Is sphinxism the female version?
Damn this is just the first line. I love the 4e Monster Manual.
Irritable and mean, it attacks without provocation and does not negotiate with prey.
Wait, what prey? What does it eat? Again: you could write an essay.
Anyway the 4e Monster Manual is right, we can assume it mostly eats PCs and innocent travellers PCs come upon while on the road to some other place.
Note also despite being a fuck, the manticore does not necessarily attack immediately, however. Which I guess means it's possible for you to be hanging out with a manticore and then be like "Y'know, I was watching Archer last night and..." and the manticore's like "EVERYONE'S FUCKING SICK OF YOUR STORIES, ZAK, I'M HITTING YOU WITH IRON SPIKES."
Which I have always thought was way better anyway. The human head with the beard is disturbing as fuck and it's psychologically useless unless you get to talk to it first.
Who negotiates with prey? Sphinxes. But sphinxes can read and manticores can't. And since sphinxes want nothing to do with manticores and TV hasn't been invented, the manticore probably fights people out of frustration and lack of anything better to do.
However: Connie established that manticores like poetry. We could assume that the manticore's problem is it just has really high standards for the level of discourse.
Level 10 Elite Skirmisher
First of all, I think they mean "elitist". Second: It's a skirmisher. Meaning it skirmishes. Meaning it doesn't necessarily fight to win. It just fights to harass the enemy.
Human facade but transparently monstrous, attacks without motive, never gets laid, irritable, bearded, digestion problem, just fighting you to annoy you, toxic, elitist, always male. Also, I bet, pretty eager to tell you about his FATE hack.
Large Natural Magical Beast (Mount)
This sounds like a civilization 4000 years in the future trying to reconstruct R Kelly lyrics from stone fragments. Trust me, girl, this'll get you 1,000 experience points #RealTalk.
A manticore prefers to begin a fight from the air.
So it's irritable but prefers to begin a fight from the air?
The typical manticore fight would then appear to start when the manticore being all "fine, I'm leaving!" but then he spins around in midair and attacks with spikes because he's lying and actually wants to eat you.
The thing where there's a monster that eats people but it also talks, that's a weird metaphor in the ancient imagination about power-relationships.
Like think about it-- that doesn't actually happen much: you talk to animals that could eat you (except maybe like some dogs).
But it happens all the time in stories. This was something people worried about. Talking to the wolf, talking to the dragon...
It flies overhead and bombards enemies with Spike Volleys before landing to finish them off with Manticore's Fury attacks.
Well who wouldn't?
If faced with a dangerous foe on the ground, a manticore usually takes to the air again and harries its foe with repeated spike volleys as quickly as they recharge.
I am wondering about recharging. (Yeah I know, Type IV fans, this is just an abstraction for how long it takes for it to get into position to attack again.) But I like literal "re-charging"--like is it just growing new metal spines all the time and then it uses them once in a while? If it goes too long without fighting anyone (like if the local archlich keeps one in a cage and feeds it dead things or like in The Last Unicorn) does it just grow into a tangled right-angle barbed-wire clubby mass? If you cut off a manticore tail can you swing it around and hit people with it?
If so, why would you ever not do that? That's obviously hella fun.
A character knows the following information with a successful Nature check.
DC 15: Manticores are wicked predators that delight in devouring intelligent creatures...
Why intelligent creatures? Do they eat brains like zombies? That's stupid. Probably they're just bitter, on account of being constantly rejected by sphinxes who all went to college and know riddles and other dumb smart crap.
...especially dwarves and humans.
...and not elves or halflings? This makes no sense unless we assume it's just a question of biomass. Still it's good to know in a world-building sense: your more blue-collar monster typically prefers the hearty races to fey, and prefers mammalflesh to dragonborn. I can buy that--it may be why humans and dwarves seem so much more pissed off about nature in general.
They fling iron spikes from their tails with deadly precision.
Wait, I just now noticed: 4e manticore spines aren't poison? WTF? Pliny died face down in a pile of Pompeiiam pumice for nothing?
Is there some Type IV-specific reason for that I don't know about?
DC 20: Manticores have three rows of teeth, which constantly grow throughout their lives.
Naturally: manteeth, lion teeth and bat teeth.
They often leave old teeth and iron spikes in the bodies of their mauled victims as sure signs of manticore attack.
Really? Gee thanks DC 20 LORE CHECK! SO GLAD I PUT POINTS THERE.
Although dimwitted, manticores understand Common and can speak a few Common words and phrases. They are exceedingly impatient and tend to attack those who attempt to parley with them.
...these words and phrases are "Would you want to be seen reading that on the bus home?", "Role-playing not roll-playing", and "Kickstarter"
Manticores hunt in small prides of two to three individuals or sometimes singly. They are brutish, violent creatures that can be brought under control only by masters too strong to be eaten. Goblins or other intelligent creatures often entice manticores to help them for a time with gifts of food or treasure. However, manticores are greedy and disloyal and rarely stay bribed for long.
This is so flat-out boring it needs to be completely scrapped. The manticore-as-talking-pitbull-that-flies needs to not ever be in another adventure again.
It has the face of a man. It has bat wings. It's a crazy beardo with a totally metal name. It deserves better.
I like the once I was a man angle. Like turning into a manticore because you did something bad like eat somebody is way better than turning into a sasquatch.
This is a cursed creature that wishes it was you. Its sin was gluttony ("man-eater"--from early Middle Persian مارتیا martya "man" (as in human) and خوار xwar- "to eat*) but now its sin is envy.
What if all the human-based classic monsters are punishments?
Greed--Ettin (You want more than everybody else? Fine.)
Ok, I like that.
*well that's what wikipedia says