Monday, June 25, 2012

Playing Games Wrong And Making Everything Bad!

Played Burning Wheel wrong again this week:

Cole: "Alright people are we ready to challenge some beliefs!!!!???!!!!"
(2 hours and one dead demon bear later)
Harald: "If that was wrong I don't want to be right."
Next week we're going to do it all Oriental Adventures style. Should be all kinds of problematic.

Also played Dungeon Crawl Classics wrong--we were in the middle of a desert and fought a zeppelin with guns that we made explode. No Dungeon. No Crawl. No Classics. Fun though.

Aaaaaaand rescued three PCs from Castle Amber while a talking dog distracted them.
"Who are you?"
"Hi, I'm Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter The Dog. What are you guys doing?
"Guarding prisioners! Go away."
"Really, prisoners, that's so cool! One time in Minneapolis I..."(other PCs start tunneling through the wall. Into the exact one and only cell where the invisible stalker was...)

And back at home, as usual, we are playing an indescribable mishmash version of D&D, completely wrong:
"And so meanwhile, you hear a shrieking noise from belowdecks"
"I'm gonna keep working on my tan"
"The sun went down, remember?"
"Well I want a wizardly moontan"
"It's happening. It's nice. You're really getting a sort of--you know that kind of glinty white schist they use in the subway? Your skin looks like that, like it catches the light from different directions."
"Good, good."
"Meanwhile, downstairs...The steam begins to congeal into the form recognize the amphibious vampire curled tightly up like this. She opens her eyes and GAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"I attack!"
"Me too!"
"Meanwhile upstairs you hear this noise."
"Well I guess I see the steam coming up right?
"So I figure there's probably a sauna down there...I guess I'll head down"
But there was no sauna. Problematic.

While, same day, down at the local comic book store, a 6-year old girl was a slaughter machine.

For a change of place we're planning on playing AD&D completely right. Weapon speed factors and everything. I have a half-orc fighter with one hit point who knows how to sew named Slovenly Trull. Mandy is playing a Belit-style pirate named Brazen Strumpet.

The depravity here does not know bounds.


  1. You're obviously playing those games wrong and thus not having any fun, by definition. You pleb.

  2. Doing things "by the book" never got anything solved ever. If George Washingtub played things "by the book", he never would have discovered America.

    If Johns Lennons played things "by the book", he never would have gone on to start up the Rolling Stones.


  4. My goodness, playing AD&D right sounds wonderful. Don't forget to pour some magic items with ego in and to use the Nbr. Appearing figures of the MM.

  5. I wish I still had these, but back in 1986, when I was in highschool I DM'd a game for my friends that had all these singers from bands we liked. I had done little write-ups, straight from the monster manual on each one, their powers and weaknesses... Lee Ving was terrifying and was unable to speak, he could only count off really fast. I remember Tesco Vee, Lux Interior, and the golem-like Ian Mackaye were there ... I replaced orcs with HenryRollinses. Back then I thought everyone had already "sold out" So Iggy Pop and Nick Cave were both Lounge Bards...

    I was 17, so just relax. I forget what Jello could do, but it was funny. My friends hated the "module" and me as a DM because I made everything either too easy or too hard... Tight asses. Man I wish I has that things still! Morrisey, Ian Curtis, and Karen Carpenter (!) were these three sirens that made you want to kill yourself. Great blog! Good luck on your tan.

  6. Bump it up an edition. Trust me.

  7. I think you're going to love the WvsAC table. Finally it is clear why the partisan is the baseline instrument.

  8. Concerning your depravity...

    I have some pamphlets for you. Don't worry. They're retro too.

  9. Hahahahahahaha LOL love your style :-)