Monday, April 30, 2012

Collected Constantcon Travel Tips

FIRST: Please do this it will be fun.

Ok, anyway...

Contstantcon is good stuff.

Have I mentioned that? Probably.

My erratic and unpredictable hours (which at the moment have me falling in with the bloodthirsty Kiwis and Ozzies of the Kanga Rat Murder Society) have prevented me from playing in all the games I'd like to while I sit at this desk scribbling ladies and monsters and have pulled me out of phase with some steady games I was playing when I was on the East Coast zone. But still: a ton of games, my friends.

Knock on effect: Google + is now the best gaming forum, hands down. Probably something to do with only people who actually want to play games showing up. Largely devoid of unresolved bullshit.

Many games get played, plans get laid, people meet, game experiments are attempted, fun is had.

Here is my collection of travel tips for some of the games I've played in since the Con started in August...


Tekumel travel Tips:

-Bring bribe money

-Don't call it bribe money

-Treat your henchmen well. That way, when they're mysteriously incinerated and you travel to the afterlife to ask them how it happened they might actually tell you.

Jakalla Travel Tip: Don't present the heads of foreign soldiers to Tsolyani guards.

Gamma World Travel Tip: If both PCs have 18 Charisma, you can get the mob to go with you to Dracula's castle.

Travel tip for +Thad King 's megadungeon: when the wizard asks: "Do you wish to be bludgeoned more?" incoherent chiming noises will be translated as "Yes."

Calithena's Ilthar travel tip: It's nice here: I got more xp for failing my rolls, getting stabbed by the boss's wife, and being locked up with rats in Ilthar than I did kicking ass and taking names in The Border Princes, Tekumel, Greyhawk, Wessex, and Gamma World combined.

Dungeon Crawl Classics Travel Tip: It actually can get worse after the sleep-spell-gone-wrong turns you poultrycephalic.

Bone Hill Travel Tips:

-There are actually bones up there. Bring a dog.

-Vastly outnumber the bugbears.

-The Spelleton is nearsighted.

Vats of Mazarin Travel Tip:

-You might lose your hand, but you'll make enough back in stolen silverware to get it reattached.

-If attempts to siphon the poison orally are unsuccessful, you may attempt to mutate the patient.

Caves of Myrrdin Travel Tips:

-Remember what monsters you've made up and posted on your blog, Jeff may try to kill you with them.

-If you're first level, an ancient red dragon and a giant rat can make you equally dead.

-If it looks like maybe it's a vampire coffin, it is.

-Roll high when you sit on the throne.

-The vampires will attack lone pack animals.

-In Wessex, vampire hunting pays for itself. Carousing doesn't.

Neoclassical Geek Revival Travel Tips:

-+Zzarchov Kowolski 's game is really easy--until it's not. Then you die.

-NGR Kazakhstan Travel Tip: If you see Phillip The Bloody down there, he's not quite himself. Or...he is. Not sure which is worse.

Young Kingdoms Travel Tip: Bring rations--sentient baboons taste horrible.

Griffin Mountain Travel Tips:

-If you fail enough rolls they'll think you're insane and give you porridge.

-Put points in sprint.

-There's no need to abandon all the severed heads, just the one whose spirit is trying to kill you.

-If you have a spirit bear problem, call me.

Outland Travel Tip: OMG they still make piercers here.

Dwimmermount Travel Tip: Bring wood and oil.

Castle Nicodemus Travel Tip: When offered a choice between Jobs or Lava, pick Jobs.

Atomic Highway Travel Tip: All post-apocalyptic settings are really part of one big setting, therefore as long as there are still gamers, things that Kevin Siembieda invented will be trying to kill them.

New Feierland Travel Tip: Watch out bloggers, you reap what you sow.

Task Force Zero Tokyo Travel Tip: THE ROOM HAS NO ANSWERS!

Slot Full of Glamour: The Miscegenating Tokyo Travel Tip: You look terrible in that eyeshadow.


  1. "Treat your henchmen well. That way, when they're mysteriously incinerated and you travel to the afterlife to ask them how it happened they might actually tell you."

    I think you got more truck out of that medium skill than anyone I have ever run through EPT. Bonus points for channeling the previous players killed in the TPK under Jakalla.

  2. "Jobs or Lava!!"
    A cry which is now infamous among the many tribes of goblins.

  3. Damn you people I've played with and enjoyed (Jez, Zzarchov, Trent)for living on the otherside o' the damned globe. To quote Jez, "Sleep is for the weak..." I guess...

    I'll work out a time with you creatures of the night and I'll run that Hellboy game...