Tuesday, March 6, 2012

EXQUISITE CARCOSA AVDENTURE GAME

Ok, kids--NEW GAME!!!!!

We take this adventure that Joesky wrote and Dyson drew the map for and pass it around just keep adding stuff (each in your own color) until it's a whole campaign worth of adventure...

This color: JOESKY (Feb 17, 2012)
This color: Zak S (Mar 6, 2012)

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Original material is here.
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A CARCOSA AVDENTURE FOR YOU



HERE IS A CARCOSA I MADE. IT IS FOR THE MAP FROM DYSON LOGOS, WHO MAKES THE AWESOMEST MAPS OFALL.

YOUR MISSHIN: KILL THESE GODDAMS BEFORE THEY SUMMON THE AMFIBIOUS ONES. THE SORCEROR IS READY TO ROCK, JUST WAITING FOR SOME FOG AT NIGHT. MAYBE THE PCS ARE HIRED BY AFRAID VILLAGERS, OR THEY CATCH A JALE GUY WHO RAN AWAY, OR SOMETHING TO TELL THEM THAT A

RIUTUAL IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN. Or maybe someone's noticed precisely the right varieties of gem, creature, and virgin are missing. WHATEVER, JUST GET THEM OVER THEIR AND TELL THEM TO HURRY THE FUCK UP AND SAVE THE LITTLE GIRL. IF YOU WANT TO PUT SOME URGENT ON IT, THEN SAY TONIGHT WILL BE A FOG NIGHT, OR SOME NIGHT IN 1-4 NIGHTS.

THIS IS A SMALL LAIRE SO BIG FIGHT NOISE FROM ONE AREA (#1-5) WILL ALERT ALL THE OTHERS AREA, UNLESS YOU DO A REAL SNEEK TAKEDOWN.

ALSO THE AC IS DESCENTING BECAUSE IN AMERICA YOU’ARE FREE TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT AND YOU CAN PRY MY DESCENTING AC FROM MY COLD DEAD FINGERS (BUT I HOPE IT SOENS’T COME TO THAT!!!! But also I've added ascending AC because America--unlike Carcosa--was built on the principles of both Liberty and Equality....not to mention Convenience.

1) ASSHOLETREE. JUST LOOKS LIKE A DEAD TREE (and, temptingly for your sneakier PCs, it is 10' taller than the wall to which it is mouthwateringly adjacent--which wall is 80' tall if you are wondering. Oh, and so are all the others.) BUT THE JOKES IS ON YOU! SPAWN OF SHUBNIGURATH (MV NONE, AC 8/12 BARK, HD 15, SPECIAL ATT., AL C). SLEEPS IN DAY, ONLY TIME OF FOR DANGER IS NIGHT. IF ANYONE GOES UNDER THE TREE TO SLEEP OR PISS OR SPY OR JUST WHATEVER, ROOTS COME OUT FROM GROUND AND A GRAB -ATTACK IS HAPPEN! ON 6D6 ROLL EACH ROUND – UNDER STR 3X IN ROW AND YOU BREAK FREE, ROLL OVER 3X IN ROW AND YOU ARE SUCKED UNDER THE DIRT (INSTADEATH!), ANYTHING ELSE AND YOU JUST STUCK IN A WRESSLE. FRENDS WHO HELP MIGHT GET A GRAB-ATTACKT TO – THE ASSHOLETREE MAY SPREAD ITS GRABBER ROOTS AROUND, LIKE 2D6 AGAINST ONE GUY AND 4D6 AGAINST A NOTHER, OR 2D6 ON ONE AND 3D6 ON OTHER AND 1D6 FOR SOMEONE ONE OTHER ATTACK, ETERCETERA……..ETC…….. (THE TREE LIKES TO GRAB LOTS OF PEOPLE SO DON’T BE A DICK DM AND GIVE ALL 6D6 ON ONE DUDE IF MORE PCS ARE THEIR). ANYONE NOT GETTING ROOT-FONDLED CAN ATTACK (ONLY CHOPPER WEPONS DO DAMAGE. NO TRESURE HEAR, JUST A SHITTY ATITUDE TREE. If compelled to reveal its secrets by some means it pretty much knows everything because nobody is like Oh, hey we better not talk about this here because there's a tree. Including he knows the Boss can't hear anything. As do most of the cultists below, by the way.

2. ROMPUS ROOM. 8 JALE CULTERS (AC 8/12, MV 12, HD 1, AC 8 HEVY ROBES, 1 ATTACK WITH A KNIFE OR CLUB, AL C) DICK AROUND IN HEAR NOT DOING MUCH. 55% CHANCE DURING A DAY ONE OFTHEM PAYS ATTENTION OUT THE FRONT DOOR TO SEE INTRADERS, 13% CHANCE AT NIGHT. THEY DONT KNOW ABOUT THE TREE SO IF THEY SEE IT EATING SOME-ONE THEY WILL IF A TREE EATED SOME-ONE THEY WILL FREAK OUT (A MONSTER-TREE????? I DID NOT SINE-UP FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11) AND COWARD IN THE ROOM. FOR HAPPENS IN THAT IS A YES. EACH GUY HAD 4-16SP + 0-5GP TRESURES.

2A) BACKDOOR BERNIES. 2 JALE CULTERS (MV 12, AC 9/11 SHITTY CLOSE, HD 1, 1 ATTACK SLING OR KNIVE, AL N) LOOK OUT THE BACK WAY and also, occasionally "fish"--or whatever the word is for trying to pull slimeslathered finny abstractions out of whatever pellucid ooze passes for water in dim Carcosa. THEY ARE SCARED SHITLESSS AND ALWAYS ALERT 80% OF THE TIME. ALSO THEY ARE NOT CONVINCE THAT RAPING GIRLS AND HANG-OUT WITH MONSTERS IS A COOL; IDEA, SO IF IF THE PCS LOOK ALL BUFF THEY WILL SWICH SIDES AND JOIN AS HENTCHMEN AND FIGHT HARD TO MAKE THINGSR IGHT.NO TRESURE FOR THESE GUYS, THEY JUST PAYED THEIR CULT DO’S. Though they do have a net and a tackle box. It has some twisty hooks and live bait--unsettling, small things best left alone, really. One is psionic and whispers things. It is kind of like an emeraldish looking dumpling with teeth. It can be used as a magical or psionic battery to double a caster's power, but every time it is used it gets one of the caster's actions with which to do as it dumplingly pleases. It may save these up for a whole simultaneous mess of mayhem or dribble them out one at a time.

They also have a copy of "The Compleat Angler" whose title translates into Carcosan as "Mesh Death".


3) SHITSTORM. THIS IS WHER THE TOUGHGUY CULTERS HANG OUT. 4 JALE CULT THUGS (MV 12, AC 7/13 NAKED BUT FAST, HD 2+1, 2 ATTACKS EACH WITH A CRAZY LOOKING SICKEL OR CURVY SWORD OR SOMETHIN-G IN EACH HAND unless the PCs are very quiet, one is kinda hiding around the corner and has blinding powder--makes a 10' cloud, save or be blind, AL C, CAUSE FEER UNLESS SAVE VS. SPELLS FOR ANYONE WITH LOWER HD) GO FUCKING CRAZY AT THE CHANCE TO FIGHT. IMMUNE TO ANY MIND GAMES THAT CAUSE THEM NOT TO FIGHT, DONT BOTHER MORALE. ORANGE WARPAIINT IN SWURLS & SIMBOLS, HOOT AND HOLLAR, DO CARTWEELS AND FLIPS TO CHOP YOU UP. NO TRESURE, THESE FUCKERS ARE IN IT FOR THE MURDERRAPEING

THERES ALSO A FIRE WITH SOME TASTY LIZARD MEAT GRILLING UP ON STICKS (EAT A HOT FOOD MEAL EACHDAY HEALS EXTRA 1HP PER DAY).

THE STARES GO DOWNSTARES 20′ THEN END IN A GIANT METAL DOOR OF HI-TECHNOLOGY. THEIR IS A PALM LOCK THAT OPENS FOR A SPACE ALIEN HAND (EVEN A DECAPATAINTED ONE) OTHER WISE YOU NEED EXPLOSIONS OR LOTS OF DINOSARS TO OPEN THIS BABY UP. INSIDE………………….IS UP TO YOU, DM!!!!!!!!!!!11 MAYBE A WAY OFF CARCOSA IF THE PCS ARE JUST VISIT FROM ANOTHER CAMPAINE, MAYBE SPACE ALIEN GOODIES, OR MUMMY BRAINS OR SOMETHING……….THE IMAGANATION IS YOUR LIMIT (IE. NO LIMIT).

3A) BOSS ROOM. HERE WE GO, THE MAIN EVENT!!! IN THIS CORNER IS A REAL PRICK, ‘THE MEGATOLLAH OF MAYHAM’ JALE 4TH LEVEL SORCER (MV 9, AC 4/16 CHAIN+HEVY ROBES, HD4, ATTACK PIRATE SWORD OR SPECIAL, AL C). His ears have slowly LaMarcked over into clubbed mounds in response to his Serpentine Amplifier (see below) and so he can't hear. He relies on his guys in room 3 to warn him of impending whatnot. He'll be asleep if the PCs show up during daylight. HE WARES A CREEPY SNAKE-MAN FILTER OVER MOUTH THAT AMPERFIES HIS SHOUT TO DEADLY SOUND LEVEL! WHEN HE YELLS A CONE BLASTS OUT 2D DAMAGE TO 20′, 1D TO 40′, FARTHER AWAY THEN THAT ALL IT DOES IS PISS YOU OFF IF YOU HAVE A HANG OVER. HE CAN BUST SHIT LIKE THE 3 LITTLE PIGS IF HE STANDING REAL LYCLOSE. WHEN HE MAKES A SHOUT IT TAKES 3 ROUNDS TO RECHARGE FOR ANOTHER ONE. IF THE PCS END UP WITH THIS THING, MAKE IT A 5% CHANCE PER USING TO BLOW ITSELF UP. HE KNOWS THE TWO AMFIBIOUS ONES RITUALS. HE WARES CHROME BRACERS WORTH 75GP + GOLD TOERING 25GP.

AND NEXT TO HIM IS HIS LOVE-BIRD A JALE CHICK 2ND FIGHTER (MV 12, AC 8/12 CHAIN BRA+PANTIES, HD 2, ATT. 2 FLAME OIL BOTTLES, AL C). She likewise has all fucked-up ears but they look better on her--she still can't hear though. SHE WARES 8 JADE BRASELETTES ON ANKLES AND ARMS shaped like centipedes WORTH 40GPEACH + GOLD BELLY CHAIN 45GP (I LOVE THOSE THINGS!!!!!).

THEY MITE EVEN BE BROTHER/SISTER LIKE IN THAT MOVIE “THE CROW” WHICH MAKESIT EVEN WIERRDER……..OR NOT I JUST THOGUHT THAT COULD BE GOO DA IDEA. LIKE IN THE CROW. I HAVE SEEN THIS MOVIE ABOUT 12 TIMES AND I HAVE A THE CROW CREW JACKIT (I DID NOT WORK ON THE CROW, ONLY WATCH TED IT.) I have the soundtrack.

ANYWAY THEY LIKE TO HANG BACK AND WATCH THE THUGS GO TO TOWN, SHE WILL LAUGH AND TOSS OIL BOTTLES EVERY KNOW AND THEN. IF TWO OF THE THUGS GO DOWN HE WILL JOIN IN COMBAT WITH A SHOUT (assuming they're awake) (HE DONT CARE WHO HE HITS)(and, yes, he is dumb enough to kill everyone who can hear), THE SISTER WILL TRY TO RUN OUT BACK AND GRAB THE WHITE GIRL AND RUN AWAY.

JACKEDPOT!!!! THIS IS THE TRESURE ROOM, A CHEST XCONTAIN: 1135GP + 924SP + 23 PURPLE CRISTALS WORTH 30GP EACH. A LITTLE POT CONTINAES GOOP THAT LOOKS LIKE HONEY, SMELLS LIEK TURDS, AND S 4 DOSES THAT IF YOU EAT YOU GET PSIONICS POWER FOR 1-2 DAYS (and a small handlike "crown" grows on the tip of your tongue, it will slowly try to reach into your brain while you sleep if not amputated within 3 days). A SILVER COFFER WORTH 75GP HOLDS SNAKE-MEN POTENCY ROOTS. 4 PRIMO-BLEND TORCHES THAT BURN FOR 12 HOURS EACH AND CANT BE BLOWED OUT, ONLY SPLASHED OUT WITH WATER ARE AGANST THE WALL. AND THERE’S A MAN-CATCHER IN HEAR TO (MAKEUP SOME RULES FOR). The boss and his babe use the sleeping body of a pupal giant Mothra as a bed. It won't turn into a Mothra for like 5 more years. Probably someone would pay good money for it if they could get it alive. Weighs about 500 lbs.

4) WALK THE DINOSAR. IN HERE IS A ANKLOSARUS (MV 6, HD10, AC2/18 SKINS, 1 ATT. IF IT HITS ROLL D4 1) BITE 1D, 2) STOMP 2D, 3) TAIL THWAP 3D, 4) NO DAMAGE BUT TOSSED 30FEETS AWAYS, AL N) THEY ARE TRY TO TAME BY STARVE HIM, BUT IT DOES NOT WORK. HE IS CHAINED TO THEFL OOR BUT NOW IS FEDUP WITH THE BULL-SHIT: ANYONE COMES IN AND IT BRAKES A CHAIN AND GOES NUTS. ALOS IF IT HEARS A FIGHT NOISE IN #3 IT GOES CRAZY AND BUSTS THREW THE WALL LIKE A KOOL-AID-MAN (BUT WITH ANGER TO GIVE INSTEAD OF REFRESHING KOOL-AID). WHENEVER IT ATTACKTS IT GOES FOR RANDOM PERSON (EVEN CULTGUYS). TRESURE: A DEAD CULT BODY (GOT TWO CLOSE DUMMY!) HAS 4G.P. + 15S.P. + 6 ARROWS + SILVER DAGGAR. Also, the ankylosaur's shell is encrusted with precious gems (for some ceremonial reason) worth 1000gp, but each miss--like any hit that would've made it if not for its meddling AC--destroys 1 gp value worth of gems per hit point of damage done.

5) COME AND GET EM. 3 PRIOSNERS TIEDTO THE 3 PILLERS HERE AND TORCHES BURN ON OF TOP EACH ONE.

PRISONER 1: PURPLE DUDE (MV 3, AC9/11, HD 1HP LEFT, NO ATTACK UNTIL YOU GIVE HIM A WEPON, AL N). HES BEEN BEATDOWN AND FUCKED UP SO HE WILL PROBALY DIE NO MATTER WAHT BUT IF YOU SET HIM FREE AND GIVE HIM A WEPON HE FIGHTING LIKE A 5TH LEVEL FIGHTER TO GET HIS REVENJE ON JALE ASSHOLES.ONE HIT KILLS HIM SO TRY TO MAKE SURE GETS A SHOTIN.

PRISONER 2: WHITE GIRL (MV12, AC 9/11, HD 1/2, ATT. DAGGAR, ALN). SHE GOT THE wiggly DAGGAR HID SOMEWARE SO IF A UNTIE COMES FROM THE JALE CHICK TO RUN, A STAB HAPPINS RIGHT AWAY. TRY TO KEEP HER SAVE, SHE DOES NOT DESERVE A CARCOSA HER. (MAYBE GIVE EXTRA XP FOR A RESCUE). She is dyed orange for some reason.

PRISONAR 3: BONE LADY (MV 15, AC 7/13 NAKED BUT FAST, HD 3, ATT. STRANGAL). THOSE ARE SOME WEIRD STATS FOR A JUST BONE LADY………..BECASUE SHE IS NOT! A TRICK IS MADE!!!!!!! SOMETIME IN THE PASSED DAYS A FUCKER SPAWN NIGURATH CREPT OUT FROM SWAMP AND GANKED HER IT HAS DOPPELGANGLER POWERS. HER SKIN IS MOSTLY SEETHROUGH BUT SOME NOT-SEETHROUGH PATCHES MIGHT GIVE THE TRICK AWAY. ALSO SHE TALKS LIKE THE KEY-MASTAR OF GOZER, SO THE PCS SHOULD BE WTF???? IF UNTIE SHE COOP-ERATE FOR A COUPLE ROUNDS, THAN WHEN A BACK IS TURNED SHE STRIKES. ONE OF THE GUYS FROM #2A HAS A BONER FOR HER SO IF THEY ARE PART OF THE TEAM, HE WILL STICK CLOSE AND PROLBALY BE THE ONE THAT GETS JACKED. HER NATURAL FORM LOOKS LIKE A BIG YELLOW DIAREA THAT SQIRTS AROUND ON THE GROUND.She also has the ability to turn enemies temporarily transparent so she can copy their brains and therefore acquire any spells or psionic abilities they have.

6. Abandoned well. It's 4' wide and 70' down and from the bottom there's a secret passage that leads underground and up to a trap door in the floor under the "bed" in 3A. Unfortunately two things: first thing is it will collapse after its used for the first time (i.e. when you get to 3a) so you'll probably have to fight your way out through 3 and second thing is it is full of the body parts left over after various sacrifices. The body parts carry psychic resonance patterns from all the victims of all the terrible Carcosa business going on nearby. Pretty much narrate it so it's terrible walking through there but don't do anything really unless you enjoy psychic combat type mechanics way more than I do. Also the hands crawl around and grab people and like the eyes roll around and follow them, etc.

There's also a cultist (stats as Room 2 above) who fell down here when he was drunk. The PCs will just wake him up from being unconscious by climbing down so he's jumpy. He has a broken knee, is sitting in a pile of his own vomit, and has a tangle of slightly living thorns that he uses as a weapon--d6 damage per round until you Str your way out of it plus you can't move--in addition to the standard cultist gear. He is too hungover to negotiate with.

If you're feeling lazy you can have the passage lead to those stairs south of area 3a.



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Ok, that's the adventure so far.

The next person to add to it will be chosen from the first eight comments in chronological order via a random d8 roll--so if you want to add something, sign up now.

That person, naturally, must repost this whole thing, add details and maybe new locations in a different color, and choose his/her successor.

(I rolled: it's Barry Blatt--and here it is ).

20 comments:

Blair said...

*Raises hand*

Law Kaaw! said...

Sign me up.

Dave said...

Me too. Got my English-Lunatic translators dictionary and Thesaurus of Slang ready and waiting.

Mark Harris said...

Go on then. Will force me to get something on paper for once.

Seth S. said...

signing up as well

-C said...

Ok. This is a thing I do.

Thomas M. said...

I'll ride this pony.

Unknown said...

I'll be eight. You have my blog.

Archaeopteryx said...

*bad scottish accent*

And my readership!

*/bad scottish accent*

Zak Sabbath said...

ROLLED IT:

BARRY BLATT it's on you

Sean D said...

We seriously need to get Joesky on the 5e design team.

I'm not even kidding.

Unknown said...

Do you want to impose a time limit? 72 hours?

arcadian said...

Yay Carcosa. Sign me up.

Dave said...

Right Done my bit - Zak are you going to dice the next contestant?

http://expanduniver.blogspot.com/2012/03/new-internet-game.html

Zak Sabbath said...

Of course not, you are:

"That person, naturally, must repost this whole thing, add details and maybe new locations in a different color, and choose his/her successor."

Unknown said...

Whoops! I posted this on G+, but realized not everyone here might see Zak's repost. As such, the next person's turn is the first of the original eight to post a response either here or on G+! 48 hours time limit.

Unknown said...

Courtney Campbell will be continuing the proud tradition over at http://hackslashmaster.blogspot.com/

And I forgot to link mine, here:
http://monstroustelevision.blogspot.com/2012/03/new-internet-game.html

-C said...

If you're one of the original 8, comment or message me to be next.

-C said...

No one has replied, so I'm going to try to get a hold of Blair.

-C said...

I can reach no one.