X-Cards
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The *X-Card* emerged from the indie/storygamer side of the hobby maybe ten
or so years ago. Originally taking the form of an index card with a simply
X dr...
Thursday, September 28, 2017
The Anti-Design of the OSR
Quotes from avante-garde architect and architectural theorist Rem Koohaas with one or two words replaced rewritten to be about elfgames:
1. If there is a method in the OSR, it is a method of systematic idealization -- a systematic overestimation of what exists, a bombardment of speculation that invests even the most mediocre aspects with retroactive conceptual and ideological charge. To each bastard, a genealogical tree...
2. If there is a plot, in modern game design, it is the eternal one – simple Darwinian imperative maybe – of each generation trying to incapacitate the next under the guise of educational process. Here it is very noticeable and very expensive.
3. Flexibility is not the exhaustive anticipation of all possible changes. Most changes are unpredictable. Gygax could never imagine the present use of the alignment chart. Flexibility is the creation of margin--excess capacity that enables different and even opposite interpretations and uses.
4. GMs knows what modern design will never learn: that modular coordination is at most postponed failure, a temporary rollback of the frontiers of chaos.
5. Mainstream game companies need OSR consultants to demonstrate their "modernity" but are finally unwilling to assume their radicalism, conceiving then aborting successive "could have beens" to prove first their adventurousness, then their sobriety.
6. "Incoherence seems to me preferable to a distorting order"
-Jeff Rients, On Ron Edwards and GNS
7. Evil Hat is not a movement; it is a new form of professionalism, of game education, not one that creates knowledge or culture, but a technical training that creates a new unquestioning, a new efficacy in applying new, streamlined dogma.
8. The construction of situations begins on the ruins of the modern module. It is easy to see the extent to which the very principle of the module--noninvention--is linked to the alienation of the old school.
9. Finally, we insist that at no time have we presumed to have produced a designed hexmap. We have confined ourselves to devising a framework capable of absorbing an endless series of further meanings, extensions, or intentions, without entailing compromises, redundancies or contradictions. Our strategy is to confer on the simple the dimension of adventure.
10. A complex like Rappan Athuk consists exclusively of mediocre, if not ugly, if not completely failed and flawed rooms, but has, nevertheless, a certain grandeur, and when seen in a certain way on certain days, appears absolutely positively beautiful. The only (most drastic) explanation is that almost all dungeons beyond a certain scale possess a kind of beauty in their sheer overwhelming presence.
11. "Most of the visual maps that are being made in the world are slaves to text."
-Luka Rejec
12. If there is to be a 'new rpg design' it will not be based on the twin fantasies of order and omnipotence; it will be the staging of uncertainty; it will no longer be concerned with the arrangement of more or less permanent objects but with the irrigation of territories with potential; it will no longer aim for stable configurations but for the creation of enabling fields that accommodate processes that refuse to be crystallized into definitive form; it will no longer be about meticulous definition, the imposition of limits, but about expanding notions, denying boundaries, not about separating and identifying entities, but about discovering unnameable hybrids; it will no longer be obsessed with the story but with the manipulation of infra-structure for endless intensifications and diversifications, shortcuts and redistributions - the reinvention of psychological space.
1. the osr-->this work
2. modern game design-->any school
3. gygax-->(utilitarian prison designer), alignment chart-->koepel (prison)
4. GMs-->Typical Plan, modern design-->European architecture
5. mainstream game companies-->local regimes, osr comsultants-->special projects
6. jeff rients-->roland barthes, ron edwards-->gide, gns-->his journals
7. evil hat-->postmodernism, game-->architectural
8. spectacle-->module, invention-->intervention world-->school
9. hexmap-->landscape
10. rappan athuk-->la defense, rooms-->buildings, dungeons-->buildings
11. maps-->images, luka rejec-->peter greenaway
12. rpg design-->urbanism, story-->city
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Wednesday, September 27, 2017
Sarah Schulman On Communities And Conflict
NOTE:
Oh hey guys. if you're here from Tenkar's Tavern remember Greg C is mad because he's the guy who freaked out about sex in games and wrote FURRIES UNDERMINE LEGITIMATE COSPLAY!!! So if you trust his opinion....ok?
Anyway, the grown up way to have a problem with someone is, y'know, contact them about it, not call them names online ( zakzsmith AT hawy mayle, or anonymously: ask.fm/TheActualZakSmith ).
On to the article:
Some excerpts on community, intervention, conflict, etc that gamer communities might benefit from Sarah Schulman's book about internet-era fight escalation Conflict Is Not Abuse.
....
One problem here is how to intervene with a person who is overstating harm, hiding behind technology, shunning or otherwise escalating. In some cultures we are trained not to assist directly, saying we are “non-confrontational,” that indifference is polite. Instead we can learn to be accountable, to ask, “How can I help you and X to sit down and talk?” Perhaps the person invested in maintaining victimology in order to avoid their own issues will say, “No, I will “never talk to X again. In fact, I am terrified for my life. You should have nothing to do with her.” In other words, now that they are facing community responsibility, they escalate even further, their claims are even more inflated, and the cloak of self-righteousness is drawn even tighter. Unfortunately, at this point, most interveners will back off. Hey, I tried, they can tell themselves. In the end, it’s not their life being harmed by this escalating person. And if they engage any further, they could become a target too. So they call it quits. Almost nothing could be more painful to the person being projected onto. The only thing worse than not getting help is asking for it and still being denied. Now the stakes are even higher, the falsely accused is even more isolated, and the interveners feel self-satisfied while being entirely ineffective. The next step is to come as a group. “Hey, now there are five of us here together, with you. We want to help you and X sit down and talk. We find what you’re doing to be very disturbing. We won’t shun you, we won’t punish you, but we also “we won’t punish you, but we also won’t be co-opted into silence. How can we find an alternative?” This is the structure behind every successful piece of non-violent progressive political action:
1. Scapegoated people cannot be made to stand alone.
2. Community needs to move towards negotiation.
3. More and more people have to join in together to create change.
4. The conversation is not over just because an escalator insists that it is.
.....
Those seeking justice often have to organize allies in order to force contact and conversation, negotiation. Trying to create communication is almost always the uphill struggle of the falsely blamed. And entire movements are structured around the goal of forcing one party to face the reality of the other, and thereby face themselves. And of course this power struggle over whether or not opposing parties will speak is an enormous smokescreen covering up the real issue, the substance of what they need to speak about: namely, the nature of and resolution to the conflict.
....
“She yelled at me; she’s abusive.”
Is that an originating action? Or is that a response? Were you sitting innocently eating your breakfast and she yelled at you because there was no milk, and you are responsible for serving her at every turn, which would be Abuse? Or did she yell at you because you stole her milk money in order to buy drugs? Which would mean that you created the originating action and the yelling was a consequence of that action. So there is Conflict about your addiction, and the Abuse accusation is a smokescreen to avoid facing it. Or were you so traumatized from being demeaned constantly as a child that as an adult you can’t tolerate difference, and any normative challenge is perceived of as an assault or threat? Is it that, in fact, nothing really happened, and yet you feel terrible? And maybe, rather than face the betrayal of your parents, it’s a lot easier to put the whole thing on your partner?
Only by examining the details, asking interactive questions in person (and not by email), and understanding the order of events can we differentiate between these three possible interpretations of the same complaint “The most destructive answer, of course, is “She yelled at you? I will hurt her,” which is a shallow relationship manifested as bullying. The best answer is, “If you two can’t communicate right now, let me talk to her in person and see how she understands what is happening.” Or, “How can I help you sit down and talk this through with her?”
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Monday, September 25, 2017
Demon Week, Day 1 Notes
First:
*If you missed it, here I am being interviewed about a new unannounced project for LotFP as well as Demon City.
If you go "What's the new LotFP thing?" and you didn't watch it I'll just shake my head like mmmm
*Do you not have Vornheim yet? Really? It got reviewed again--this time by someone who went out and made their own city book right after.
*There's a kick-ass Lamentations Bundle and it goes to support the civil liberties organization that protected Steve Jackson Games from illegal search and seizure.
*D&DWPS rogue Satine Phoenix is playing D&D with D&D head honcho Mike Mearls for a kids' charity.
*Red & Pleasant Land is still up for game of the month
*Green Ronin still sucks and only pays lip service to LGBT rights.
Anyway, it's Demon Week
Doing open playtests for Demon City.
Notes:
1. Real worldy Demon City names ("Alex Walsh") are harder to remember than D&D names. When playing with scads of new wonderful generous playtest volunteers all in one week, maybe ask if you can just use their actual names as their character names to keep it simple...
2. The official rule for Demon City action is "Everybody rolls, highest roller gets to do what they want then Any Action Not Interrupted By The Winning Actions And Which Doesn't Involve Anyone Else In A Clash Happens".
Q: Does running away from somebody "Involve someone else"?
*If you missed it, here I am being interviewed about a new unannounced project for LotFP as well as Demon City.
If you go "What's the new LotFP thing?" and you didn't watch it I'll just shake my head like mmmm
*Do you not have Vornheim yet? Really? It got reviewed again--this time by someone who went out and made their own city book right after.
*There's a kick-ass Lamentations Bundle and it goes to support the civil liberties organization that protected Steve Jackson Games from illegal search and seizure.
*D&DWPS rogue Satine Phoenix is playing D&D with D&D head honcho Mike Mearls for a kids' charity.
*Red & Pleasant Land is still up for game of the month
*Green Ronin still sucks and only pays lip service to LGBT rights.
Anyway, it's Demon Week
Doing open playtests for Demon City.
Notes:
1. Real worldy Demon City names ("Alex Walsh") are harder to remember than D&D names. When playing with scads of new wonderful generous playtest volunteers all in one week, maybe ask if you can just use their actual names as their character names to keep it simple...
2. The official rule for Demon City action is "Everybody rolls, highest roller gets to do what they want then Any Action Not Interrupted By The Winning Actions And Which Doesn't Involve Anyone Else In A Clash Happens".
Q: Does running away from somebody "Involve someone else"?
3. How long does contact take to get back to you? This is pure luck but formalize it.
4. Character gen needs a chart, there's jusssst enough information that people can get confused about the math
5. Waiting for someone to come through the door counts as a round of aiming (extra die next round)
6. The best way to roll bad guy stuff is to roll the bad guy's dice then say "Anybody beat a...." 7, 8 whatever
7. There needs to be a mook rule, rolling 2-3 dice for 4-5 bad guys is dumb. Mooks always roll twice their skill, etc.
8. If you have 2 skills that could apply to a situation that should count for an extra die maybe? Need examples.
9. Rewrite character classes so that all of them have something that matters in character gen or in downtime, maybe? People are so panicked they forget to use class skills, and they tend to be the least important thing about a PC in play
10. What happens to Local Knowledge if you are in a multi-city campaign? Find a way this isn't a stupid choice.
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Sunday, September 24, 2017
It's Demon Week
All day open Demon City playtests.
Monday: 6pm-4am Pacific Time
Tuesday: TBA
Wednesday: TBA
Thursday: TBA
Friday: TBA
If you are interested, email: zakzsmith AT hawtmayle with your available days and times in Pacific Time
Bring a PC with you:
Character Gen rules here.
If you make a "Problem" class PC, be sure to also make a 2nd PC in case the game already has a Problem PC.
If you have already made a PC for this game and used it in a playtest, make a new one now for Demon Week
Oh, and here I am being interviewed about Demon City plus some new stuff in the pipeline.
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Monday: 6pm-4am Pacific Time
Tuesday: TBA
Wednesday: TBA
Thursday: TBA
Friday: TBA
If you are interested, email: zakzsmith AT hawtmayle with your available days and times in Pacific Time
Bring a PC with you:
Character Gen rules here.
If you make a "Problem" class PC, be sure to also make a 2nd PC in case the game already has a Problem PC.
If you have already made a PC for this game and used it in a playtest, make a new one now for Demon Week
Oh, and here I am being interviewed about Demon City plus some new stuff in the pipeline.
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Thursday, September 21, 2017
Attention Midwesterners, Contessa Needs You
Contessa, the con-within-a-con dedicated to promoting diversity n games is looking for folks to run games at U-Con in Ann Arbor NOVEMBER 17- NOVEMBER 19, 2017 and Acadecon in Dayton, November 10th – 12th, 2017.
Visit Contessa.rocks for details and help out with a great cause. Tell 'em D&DWPS sent you.
Visit Contessa.rocks for details and help out with a great cause. Tell 'em D&DWPS sent you.
Tuesday, September 19, 2017
Notes Taken While Starting to Write My Next RPG Book
Room When she is there, Room when she is not there.
Johannes Vermeer
100 Octopuses
Nimue
“A terrible worm in an iron cocoon,”
Oceanids
Sexual cannibalism is rare in the animal kingdom. Although cannibalism is not uncommon in cephalopods, here we report the first documented case of sexual cannibalism. A large female Octopus cyanea was observed continuously for 2.5 days in Palau, Micronesia, when she was out of her den. On the second day, a small male followed and mated her 13 times during 3.5 h while she continued to forage over 70 m distance. After the 12th mating, she aggressively chased a different small octopus that barely escaped by jetting, inking and swimming upwards. Shortly thereafter, the original small male mated her a 13th time, but subsequently she attacked and suffocated him and spent 2 days cannibalizing him in her den. This sort of intraspecific aggression helps to explain several reports of octopuses mating out in the open, a behaviour that may serve to allow the smaller mate to escape cannibalism.
Kang the Conqueror
Christianity from Judaism from Canaanism
Niobids
Nimue, Viviane, Vivien, Elaine, Ninianne, Nivian, Nyneve, or Evienne
T.H. White's 1958 Arthurian retelling, The Once and Future King, in which "Merlyn", as White calls him, has the curious affliction of living backwards in time to everyone else. This affliction also appears in Dan Simmons' Hyperion as the "Merlin sickness." A related novel is The Book of Merlyn.
Metacomet
Abbas II of Persia
Kamāl ud-Dīn Behzād
Nympharium
Nzinga of Ndongo and Matamba
“
Voltaire:
This unfortunate time for Ibrahim was unfortunate for all monarchs. The
Holy Roman Empire was unsettled by the famous Thirty Years War. Civil war
devastated France and forced the mother of Louis XIV to flee with her children
from her capital. In London, Charles I was condemned to death by his own
subjects. Philip IV, king of Spain, having lost almost all his possessions in Asia, also
lost Portugal.
Voltaire went on to consider the careers of Cromwell in England, Li Zicheng in
China, Aurangzeb in India, and others who had seized power by force, concluding
that the mid-seventeenth century had been ‘a period of usurpations almost from one
end of the world to the other’.1
“
The Loe
Llyn y Fan Fach
Llyn Ogwen
Ribbon lake
Llyn Llydaw
Dozmary Pool
Witch's ladder
Martin Mere
dolls and doll carriages harnessed to mice
Lady of the Lake
One Thousand and One Nights
the Seclusium of not Orphone
Anaxaorchas
Islamic Golden Age
William Adams (sailor)
http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.com/2015/10/the-goblin-cubes.html
sorceress / witch
clowns
Valmont (film)
Thessaly rebellion (1600)
Giordano Bruno
Haunted Lake
Elizabeth Báthory
wfrp career list
http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.com/2015/09/100-more-lyonesse-things.html
http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.com/2015/09/d100-things-you-find-in-lyonesse.html
Lyonesse?
Vrokk
http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.com/2015/10/vrokk-isle-of-war-wizards.html
History of Spain
Les Liaisons dangereuses
Clathrus archeri
A Coconut Octopus Uses Tools to Snatch a Crab - YouTube
Octopus leaps out of water, grabs crab - YouTube
octopus wraps around the Wildlife Man`s head - YouTube
Tortuosa willow
Ich Dien
Scheherezade
a piece of John the Baptist’s head. (relics)
Myddfai
Paimpont forest
Brocéliande
Pergusa Lake
Beeswing, Dumfries and Galloway
Buccaneer
The Decameron
The War Hound and the World's Pain
Battle of the Planets
Galactor
G-Force: Guardians of Space
All Purpose Cultural Cat Girl Nuku Nuku
Hispania
Eustache Deschamps
Eleanor de Montfort
a rainwater fishpond on the roof.
chinese painting
Rime dictionary
Monolatrism
Ancient Canaanite religion
Origins of Judaism
Jews
Judaism
Yahwism
Jean Le Maingre
a mere Wrecca
Grimoires—17th c
microscope
1674 A Hindu conqueror, Shivaji, is crowned king at Rajgarh. Maratha power is established. Shivaji gives assurance to Hindus across India.
1675 The Mugal emperor, Alamgir, has escecuted Tegh Bahadur for refusing to accept Islam. Tegh Bahadur's son and successor, Guru Gobind Rai, vows to combat Alamgir's oppression. He adopts the surname Singh (lion) and gives his closest followers the same surname.
1686 Isaac Newton presents his Principia, Book I, to the Royal Society.
Merlin
Nymphaeum
Ranulf Higden
Cephalopod Attack
Octopus Wrestling
Clytie
Ocyrhoe
Nymph
Naiad
Salix babylonica
Weeping Willow
La Maupin
“List of Women In the Old Testament”
Joanna of Flanders
Imagine an umbrella. Or a willow. Salix babylonica (Babylon willow or weeping willow; Chinese: 垂柳) is a species of willow. This is the situation.
Nemesis
Styx
I'm sailing away set an open course for the virgin sea
I've got to be free free to face the life that's ahead of me
On board I'm the captain so climb aboard
We'll search for tomorrow on every shore
And I'll try oh Lord I'll try to carry on
I look to the sea reflections in the waves spark my memory
Some happy some sad
I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had
We live happily forever so the story goes
But somehow we missed out on that pot of gold
But we'll try best that we can to carry on
A gathering of angels appeared above my head
They sang to me this song of hope and this is what they said
They said come sail away come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away come sail away
Come sail away with me
I thought that they were angels but to my surprise
They climbed aboard their starship and headed for the skies
Singing, come sail away come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away come sail away
Come sail away with me
Hourglass Heads
“We risk all, we win everything”
Randall, Time Bandits
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Monday, September 18, 2017
So, I said, You are a gnome on a goat
First, some heads-ups:
The Lamentations of the Flame Princess bundle is live (including Death Frost Doom 2e rewritten by me and the recent LotFP Ennie winners)*
Fever Swamp is gonna be weird and full of freaks, it's being Kickstarted
Vote for Red & Pleasant Land for Reddit game of the month
----------------------
I'm playing in False Patrick's game, here's what happened last time:
The Forest of Swine was ruled by the Swine King.
So we fought him, of course. He was like 30' tall? My cleric successfully used a Command spell. You get one word with Command, I said: "Abdicate". Pig wasted a turn throwing his crown on the ground, then I put an animal trap (standard equipment in 5e) on his balls. We took him out and rolled his crown away, along with his hoard, which the GM never thought we'd score.
A session or two later we lost 3 guys, including that cleric, to the Sky Queen's knights, but managed to keep ahold of all that gold--we had a cart. Our wizard also stole a polymorphing staff. News of our exploits spread across her lands. She's a massive pterodactyl-peacock-dragon, the big boss of the whole place.
As we passed back through what was once the Forest of Swine, we ran into a pack of tiny humanoids, mounted on large ungulates--horned and ruminant.
"So," I said "you are a gnome on a goat."
He took offense, I think. He explained they were the Goat Masters, and were bent on wiping out the tigermancers and populating this forest entirely with giant goats.
"Do you like gold?" I said, hoping to recruit them in our scheme of vengeance against the Sky Queen. We already had the xp from the treasure from sessions back so fuck it.
"No! We care nothing for baubles! We respect only strength--and the ability to psychically control goats."
Hmmm...I thought. I had a ranger now, and he was second level The ability to psychically control goats?
Strode did he boldly toward the leader astride his broad billy and engaged the rangerous ability of Animal Friendship. Dice rolled.
The gnome gasped and fell from his rebellious steed "I AM NOTHING!" he cried, and fled into the mountains.
The remaining band of Goat Masters stood in awe.
And "Behold!" cried the wizard, casting Polymorph with the staff on one of our fighters "I HAVE THE ABILITY TO CREATE GOATS!"
Overawed, the Goat Masters stood enrapt--"Imagine!" he said, casting Minor Image and summoning a hooved and capricious hallucination "...a world of infinite goats!"
The next day the horns were blown, and the entire population of 300 Goat Masters came to our side, abandoning the forest to join us, enraptured with visions of holy war.
They described to us the many factions that vied beneath the yoke of the feathered Queen--Tortoise Lords, Bathing Apes, Undead Frogs, and more. The Goat Masters seemed to have the least quarrel with the Frost Witches.
Animal Friendshipping again, we entrained a snowbird to seek the witches out in their mountain lair and bring a message. We dictated it:
"So...frost witches? You know the Sky Queen? We're gonna kill her. We have like 300 guys on goats. I don't know if you're into, like, gold but....we have that? Or however you want to get paid we could use the gold to buy whatever you're into like jewels or babies or magic stuff...anyway, let us know"
The next day a loose-limbed and formidable woman approached the camp, asking "How many babies?"
"Well," I said "where do you usually get babies?"
"Once there were explorers--like you--and they created a city and it was full of babies. But we ate them all...."
"Well, our leader has the ability to create babies!"
The Marquis cast polymorph on a squid.
"Imagine!" he said then, now casting Minor Image again "a world of infinite babies!"
So now we have a goatgnome-and-hag army and are going to go up a mountain assault this fucking dragon queen.
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*Full list:
Blood in the Chocolate (Ennie winning)
Carcosa (Only hexcrawl product laid out to be usable)
Isle & Dungeon of the Unknown (by the author of Carcosa)
The Monolith From Beyond Space and Time (freaks people out)
Death Frost Doom 2e (rewritten by me. spooky.)
Lamentations of the Flame Princess (the game)
APPALLING BONUS COLLECTION
Veins of the Earth (by Scrap and False Patrick, also Ennie-winning)
Broodmother Skyfortress (By Jeff Gameblog, also Ennie-winning)
Towers Two (by the Gwar guy)
No Salvation for Witches (Raphael Chandler)
Lamentations of the Gingerbread Princess (by Zzarchov, I was in the playtests its fun)
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-
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Now, a word from our sponsor:
The Lamentations of the Flame Princess bundle is live (including Death Frost Doom 2e rewritten by me and the recent LotFP Ennie winners)*
Fever Swamp is gonna be weird and full of freaks, it's being Kickstarted
Vote for Red & Pleasant Land for Reddit game of the month
----------------------
I'm playing in False Patrick's game, here's what happened last time:
The Forest of Swine was ruled by the Swine King.
So we fought him, of course. He was like 30' tall? My cleric successfully used a Command spell. You get one word with Command, I said: "Abdicate". Pig wasted a turn throwing his crown on the ground, then I put an animal trap (standard equipment in 5e) on his balls. We took him out and rolled his crown away, along with his hoard, which the GM never thought we'd score.
A session or two later we lost 3 guys, including that cleric, to the Sky Queen's knights, but managed to keep ahold of all that gold--we had a cart. Our wizard also stole a polymorphing staff. News of our exploits spread across her lands. She's a massive pterodactyl-peacock-dragon, the big boss of the whole place.
As we passed back through what was once the Forest of Swine, we ran into a pack of tiny humanoids, mounted on large ungulates--horned and ruminant.
"So," I said "you are a gnome on a goat."
He took offense, I think. He explained they were the Goat Masters, and were bent on wiping out the tigermancers and populating this forest entirely with giant goats.
"Do you like gold?" I said, hoping to recruit them in our scheme of vengeance against the Sky Queen. We already had the xp from the treasure from sessions back so fuck it.
"No! We care nothing for baubles! We respect only strength--and the ability to psychically control goats."
Hmmm...I thought. I had a ranger now, and he was second level The ability to psychically control goats?
Strode did he boldly toward the leader astride his broad billy and engaged the rangerous ability of Animal Friendship. Dice rolled.
The gnome gasped and fell from his rebellious steed "I AM NOTHING!" he cried, and fled into the mountains.
The remaining band of Goat Masters stood in awe.
And "Behold!" cried the wizard, casting Polymorph with the staff on one of our fighters "I HAVE THE ABILITY TO CREATE GOATS!"
Overawed, the Goat Masters stood enrapt--"Imagine!" he said, casting Minor Image and summoning a hooved and capricious hallucination "...a world of infinite goats!"
The next day the horns were blown, and the entire population of 300 Goat Masters came to our side, abandoning the forest to join us, enraptured with visions of holy war.
They described to us the many factions that vied beneath the yoke of the feathered Queen--Tortoise Lords, Bathing Apes, Undead Frogs, and more. The Goat Masters seemed to have the least quarrel with the Frost Witches.
Animal Friendshipping again, we entrained a snowbird to seek the witches out in their mountain lair and bring a message. We dictated it:
"So...frost witches? You know the Sky Queen? We're gonna kill her. We have like 300 guys on goats. I don't know if you're into, like, gold but....we have that? Or however you want to get paid we could use the gold to buy whatever you're into like jewels or babies or magic stuff...anyway, let us know"
The next day a loose-limbed and formidable woman approached the camp, asking "How many babies?"
"Well," I said "where do you usually get babies?"
"Once there were explorers--like you--and they created a city and it was full of babies. But we ate them all...."
"Well, our leader has the ability to create babies!"
The Marquis cast polymorph on a squid.
"Imagine!" he said then, now casting Minor Image again "a world of infinite babies!"
So now we have a goatgnome-and-hag army and are going to go up a mountain assault this fucking dragon queen.
-
-
-
*Full list:
Blood in the Chocolate (Ennie winning)
Carcosa (Only hexcrawl product laid out to be usable)
Isle & Dungeon of the Unknown (by the author of Carcosa)
The Monolith From Beyond Space and Time (freaks people out)
Death Frost Doom 2e (rewritten by me. spooky.)
Lamentations of the Flame Princess (the game)
APPALLING BONUS COLLECTION
Veins of the Earth (by Scrap and False Patrick, also Ennie-winning)
Broodmother Skyfortress (By Jeff Gameblog, also Ennie-winning)
Towers Two (by the Gwar guy)
No Salvation for Witches (Raphael Chandler)
Lamentations of the Gingerbread Princess (by Zzarchov, I was in the playtests its fun)
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Now, a word from our sponsor:
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| Vote Red & Pleasant Land for game of the month, here |
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