Monday, August 19, 2013

Apocalypse Deferred One Week

All these skeletons are left over from when Reaper dropped a dumptruck full of miniatures on us to shoot the documentary about our game a few years ago. These guys and about 99,986 other skeletons have been hording around my game ever since.

Though I still envy Shiro's undead mastodon.

The group's plan for Sunday was to lounge by the rooftop pool picking through the 3.5 player's book picking spells and otherwise talking strategy while I repaired the miniatures, nailed down the army's mechanical gimmicks and kept an eye on the new pet gecko--and then to order delivery and have an epic fight at sundown until everyone was dead or too tired to move.

Which is a fucking Sunday right there.

I already had some character sheets for the new players...



Unfortunately shit came up and we had to cancel...

 

 Good news is I have at least a few more days to tighten the screws--I got terrain choices mapped out, army speeds, composition of the sides, some mass combat resolution rules, and some puzzley elements to the skeleton horde's combat profile but I am of the opinion that you can never have too much freakshow in a set piece like this if you know it's coming.

Also, Google + is helping organize the city's defense.

The ones going in so far...

 1. Mulak the Bold has recently discovered the Immortal Zoo of Ping Feng wherein many powerful mystical animals are said to reside.

 2. Kaip Dorn owner of the Stuck Pig butchery has 20 50-gallon barrels of pig fat that can be turned in to napalm with a few simple additives

 3. Roger: a large fellow with a series of different mining tools, he knows how to use them all and has a few different people in his employ to work them too.

 4. Mildred Kack, midwife, has a bathtub filled with holy water, blessed by a vagrant (and slightly crazed) cleric

 5. Laurent: A low level thief who runs a gang of child informants that are known as excellent scouts and look outs. They know the surrounding area well.

 6. Kert Thew, a local chemist, has developed a musk that disguises living creatures as undead. Though it only works on the mindless ones. There is perhaps enough of the musk for d4+1 creatures, as it is difficult to gather the rare herbs during this season.

 7. Obsessive compulsive hoarder Mikanos Raedronovic has amassed the largest collection of broken crockery the world has ever seen. It is organized and suborganized by place setting, general design, pattern design, color, and break location. He died of blood loss after falling in to a mountainous pile of: Soup bowls, Orside Revivalist, Classic Rust, Lip crack His well-known collection remains unclaimed. 

8. Loris the weak minded: A simpleton who has memorized all sewer pipes, canals, and waterways within and up to the exit of the city walls including many secret exits. He cannot handle stress and will only speak about waterways. Has no social skills and does not know how to interact with individuals. Lives with his doting mother.

 9. The antipope of Vorn Rhombicus I. could be found and convinced to come out of hiding helping with his turn undead abilities. That would probably cause the hitherto unknown rift in the church of Vorn to come to the public and may cause civil unrests when clerics of Vorn start taking sides on either pope's side.

 10. Helvetica Black runs a small printshop off Delerium Lane. In one of her more drunken moments she swore she did the typography for the Book of the Dead— and she stole the printer's proof. (also, my next FS character).

 11. Gus the Grub- an anarchist pig farmer with 2d20 pigs.
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Friday, August 16, 2013

Judge Hodgman, We Appeal This Ruling

To The Honorable Judge John Hodgman of the First Circuit Court of Fake Internet Justice,

While the Playing Dungeon And Dragons With Porn Stars Court Of Appeals has been impressed by the perspicacity your jurisprudence in the matters of...

Nerd V. Other Nerd Who Wanted Him To Get His Shows Off His TiVo
Guy With One Definition Of Horror Movies V. Guy With Other Definition of Horror Movies
Megaman Cheater V. Hardcore Megaman Guy
and
Guy With Big Hair V. Ernie Pimpist...

...the court is moved to contest your recent decision in the matter of Guy Who Wants To Kick Ass V. Guy Who Wants To Play RPGs About Lore.

Here is the record of our proceedings as we reviewed the recording of the case...









Casey Garske
11:36 AM

There was a Star Wars cosplay episode a few months ago. Hilarious.


Zak Smith
11:39 AM
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OMYGOD THEY'RE PLAYING DRESDEN FILES. Fuuuuck.


Zak Smith
11:43 AM
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"You never forget the person who taught you D&D 3.5"


Zak Smith
11:44 AM
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Connie (at kitchen table): "Man, poor Dan"


Zak Smith
11:44 AM

"So Dan's playing this nerd game like a jock?"


Zak Smith
11:46 AM
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"Lore? As a skill? Can you explain this to me and other normals?"




Zak Smith
11:47 AM
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"Ok so you play in magical Chicago?"
"We've also played in magical Minneapolis"
"The Magical Twin Cities!"
"Well they're already magical.."
"Ok, so let me understand, you're walking down the street in magical Minneapolis and you see floating Garrison Keillor with tentacles and..."


Zak Smith
11:48 AM
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"You would roll 4 d6s"
Mandy (from the bed) "THIS GAME SOUNDS AWFUL! Is it a White Wolf game."
Zak: "It's Dresden Files. It's some series of nerd novels. I haven't read it."


Zak Smith
11:55 AM
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Dan is possibly advocating for player skill over character skill


Mandy Morbid
11:58 AM
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Clearly Dan is just their KK and they 've gotta be more understanding of the party barbarian's needs. 


Zak Smith
12:13 PM

Ryan sounds pretty boring but Dan sounds like he is kinda bogarting the game.
Dan needs some cooler friends.


Pearce Shea
12:14 PM

Dan needs some much, much cooler friends. 




Zak Smith
12:20 PM
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Also, I think if the GM can't juggle these players various and divergentmetagame goals then the GM is falling down.


Zak Smith
12:22 PM
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Dan: "Are you saying that just because a character is fast or strong or not as smart as you that they're not a deep character?"
Ryan: "Yeah that's exactly what I'm saying."


Zak Smith
12:22 PM
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Ryan, you dork.


Zak Smith
12:30 PM
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Ryan: "Part of roleplaying is therapy and for me to get to play this new character as escapism that's that's my therapy I'm letting out creativity and energy and pain and hope and aspirations and jumping straight into combat reduces my character to a bunch of skills rather than a person"
Mandy: "Idiot"
Connie: "He should find some game where there isn't combat"
Zak: "Or go to therapy"
Connie: "Yeah, it's not fair to the other characters if you just go out there andhave fun all the time"


Zak Smith
12:33 PM
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Now Dan's ruleslawyering and I hate him. "If this is in the rules, I should be able to do it".
Be a pal to your loser friends Dan.


Mandy Morbid
12:50 PM
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It sounds like they both want to be playing different games with different people.


Kasper Blomdell
12:53 PM
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Yeeeah, it feels like Ryan is being an elitist prick unwilling to experiment and upset somebody isn't playing like he want them to, and Dan is too attached to the people (rather than the game) to realize he's not getting every fix from that game, and being a little bit of a dick about that.

EDIT:
This is basically Jerry Springer for gamers, isn't it?


Zak Smith
1:13 PM
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All this talk of math and escapism, however, makes me suspicious.
If Dan's just kicking ass because he built his character as a combat monster, the GM is falling down there, too. He should only be winning if he's smarter than the GM's interpretation of tentacled Garrison Keillor.
And, the investgator's Lore should be essential to helping you kill Garrison Keillor 


Zak Smith
1:19 PM
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And if Dan dies, that gives Ryan something Deep to mope about.


Zak Smith
1:32 PM

Bottom line:
The ruling should've been "Guys, you need a better GM. And be cooler to each other." 
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