Monday, January 20, 2014

What Happens In Vegas Is Technically Not RPG Related and Kinda NSFW...

…but whatever, that's where we all were, at the AVN awards, so I don't have any game to blog about. Here's pictures:
This is what Mandy wore on the red carpet
This is what I wore on the red carpet.
Just kidding, this is what I wore on the red carpet. R: Nina Hartley
Oh my god Vera you look like tattooed Scarlett Johansson!
Mandy, should we stay at this hot tub party?
"Yes, Zak, we should stay at this hot tub party."
Caroline Pierce (Smashy the Fighter), Max Hardcore (look him up. Wait, don't. Really, don't.)

Stoya (elf druid), Justine Joli (half-medusa wizard). They did not coordinate on the Mad Men style, that just happened.

Mandy (tiefling cleric), KK (str 18 druid, ex-barbarian)
Stokely (level 8 wizard) Mandy again


Front row center at the awards: Alexis Texas (in grey), Alektra Blue (in red), Skin Diamond (in goth red), Mandy. Note Fleshlight Zeppelin.

Talking to fans in a desperately overburdened wheelchair. My camera's doing its impression of a 70s British tabloid camera
Dave Navarro and Charlotte Stokely's butt

Home again. Connie (elf thief).
"How were the dogs, Connie?" "Oh, they were fine."
That's how you end a weekend.

Friday, January 10, 2014

The God of Total Party Kills


Here are some true things about Demogorgon:

Demogorgon received the lump of mold we call Earth, and having formed it as it now appears, thought he had created a masterpiece. 
--Voltaire, Plato's Dream

Demogorgon is responsible for everything anybody ever did. Except some NPCs, who serve other demons.


If you killed a gnome, that was Demogorgon, if your neighbor peeked at your mail, that was Demogorgon.

The name Demogorgon is introduced in a discussion of Thebaid 4.516, which mentions 'the supreme being of the threefold world' (triplicis mundi summum); in a mystical passage that seems to show Jewish influence, as it mentions Moses and Isaiah); the author says of Statius, Dicit deum Demogorgona summum ('He is speaking of the Demogorgon, the supreme god', or perhaps 'He is speaking of a god, the supreme Demogorgon'). Prior to Lactantius, there is no mention of the supposed "Demogorgon" anywhere by any writer, pagan or Christian.
     -some Wikipedia editor

If you get to the end of Rappan Athuk and kill Orcus--that was Demogorgon. Of course: he fucking hates that guy, it's in the Monster Manual. Demogorgon's all "Death to false metal".

If you defeated Demogorgon, that wasn't Demogorgon. He is manipulating you into defeating impostors.

Demogorgon loves Warhammer Earth--humans and dwarves and elves fighting agents of Khorne and Tzeentch and Nurgle and Slaanesh for 40,000 years. Only War? Fucking perfect. Fuck all those bush leaguers.

Demogorgon really loves Call of Cthulhu world--go ahead, keep defeating agents of Cthulhu over and over on every world. Do that. Guy's a nuisance across 899 realities. It is whispered that He himself sat by the shoulder of Chaosium, whispering that the Runequest rules could be repurposed to aid in crusades against the Old Ones.

If you had a campaign that ever ended prematurely, this was because Demogorgon abolished your reality. Things were getting out of control. You were getting too close to Him.


He is, therefore, much as Roland Barthes described the imperial palace in Japan: the unviewable center. All unfinished adventures point to Him. So who got close? Edgar Rice Burroughs with Skeleton Men of Jupiter, Byron's Don Juan, Poison Elves, Jane Austen with Sanditon and The Watsons, David Foster Wallace with The Pale King, Twin Peaks, Deadwood, Phillip Marlowe was on his trail in The Poodle Springs Story, and Phillip K Dick's protagonist in The Owl In Daylight, and Aeneas in The Aeneid.  Likewise: Sunset At Blandings, The Canterbury Tales, The Man With The Golden Gun, Game of Death, Edward Gorey's The Izzard Book, and, perhaps most promisingly, Steve Gerber's final Doctor Fate story.

And, for sure, Castle Greyhawk.

What do these adventures have in common? Cannily, the Bicephalic And Primordial One cut off these realities long before the common threads could be gathered.

Some have argued that the lost original proof (and only that proof) of Fermat's Last Theorem points to Him.

Also, dead adventurers point to him, since it is he who kills them, or allows them to die. Examine the differences between what the party did after Orangconan died and what the party would have done if he hadn't. These are his footprints.

There are no "meaningless TPKs". There were only "TPKs which, had they not occurred, brought adventurers too close to the truth about Demogorgon".

So, GMs, examine well your failures: his trail picks up just over the untaken hill.

It is said that there is one D&D campaign currently extant, that will one day lead to the defeat of the true Demogorgon.

__


Why he chose the ixixachitl
 to become his worshipers, and why that race of sentient rays has chosen to follow him, is very hard to determine.


--Monster Mythology (2e)

No it isn't, Carl Sargent, he obviously chose them because psychic vampire manta ray clerics are stupid and because they live in cities beneath the ocean which is:

A) full of water and
B) boring

...thus ensuring adventurers are profoundly unlikely to get anywhere near His Mysteries or His Offices.

Both Demogorgon and Orcus appeared in the D&D Immortals rules set for the Basic Game. In this incarnation, Demogorgon was referred to as "she", and went by such nicknames as The Child, Bane of Souls, The Lizard King (no offense, Jim Morrison), and The Dark Lady (really no offense, Shakespeare). A bizarre take, this version of Demogorgon "often polymorphs into the form of a human child, apparently the essence of youth and innocence. When she chooses to fight, however, she assumes her normal form."

-That

This is, of course, all true. (The only really confusing part is the Lizard King bit. Unless you credit the bizarre theory that Demogorgon plans to wed Tiamat in a ceremony that will annihilate the universe but: seriously?)

Now, here's a question:

Why doesn't Demogorgon just go ahead and win? Why do good things ever happen to good people? Why isn't the universe aflame?

Well:

Demogorgon’s two heads are named Aameul and Hethradiah. Aameul prefers deception, and Hethradiah favors destruction. Originally, Demogorgon had one head and one mind. A mighty blow from the deity Amoth split him nearly in two before Demogorgon killed Amoth. After he healed, Demogorgon’s head remained split. The two heads often disagree with one another but turn disagreement to their mutual advantage. 

This shouldn't surprise anyone who has ever seen Demogorgon (that is: anyone) in action. Cross-purposes are their name, and their strategy is self-sabotage.

Likewise:

Twins born to cultists or kidnapped and indoctrinated at a young age lead Demogorgon’s mightiest cults. Each twin serves one of Demogorgon’s two personalities. Invariably, such a cult falls to infighting as one high priest turns against the other, hindering many a foul plot.

And that hindrance is called existence.

Also:
 Dagon, in turn, always whispers his secrets to one head at a time (never both at once), thus playing a major role in the tension between Demogorgon's heads.

In the World of Greyhawk campaign setting, Demogorgon sometimes goes by the ancient name "Ahmon-Ibor," or "the Sibilant Beast." 

___


The Codexes, Covens and Chapters


In a pathetic humanity
Behaving like disoriented worms

--Demogorgon (the Brazilian one)


Like all true demon lords, Demogorgon has recorded a number of heavy metal albums through various sublunary avatars. As a demon prince's strength is directly tied to the number of metal bands named after them, Demogorgon's number is 17. Or maybe 19. Anyway: together these mouthpieces have written over 150 hymns, which, properly interpreted, hold the keys to His powers.

His Wisdom is held in a dozen sacred texts, and many copies of each are spread out across the world. Whenever a PC dies, another Chapter is written in each book, and a Chapter is added to His legions.

Each Coven has a Codex, and a Chapter of Servants for each Chapter of their Codex. Reading a chapter of a Codex not only grants the reader access to the wisdom within, but inflicts a mutation (save allowed) upon the reader that can only be undone by reading the next chapter and receiving its associated mutation. The mutations, when known to the scholars of civilized lands, are listed below in parenthesis after the title of the Chapter.

Humanoid servants of a given Chapter have hit dice equal to that Chapter's number and the associated mutation. So, servants of the 4th Chapter of the First Coven have 4 hit dice and a Crown of Flesh.

Each Coven's clerics, wizards and witches can only cast spells written in their Codex. A list of spells in each Codex (with any known details) appears after the list of Chapters.

(Chapter orders are derived from the order in which the songs appear on albums by bands named Demogorgon and mutations are derived from the track length, in minutes and seconds, translated into results on the d1000 chaos mutation chart. Spell orders and details are likely derived from track orders and length numbers. Codex titles are derived from Demogorgon albums not named after tracks. And, yeah, I used every single name of every single song by anybody called Demogorgon because, hey, you don't mess around when the fate of reality is at stake.)

The archaic semitic word "Satan" in the tongue of the Quiet World has been translated below as "The Adversary" here, and the word "Christ" has been translated as "Amoth".


And Death Brought Them For His Kingdom
Codex of the First Coven
(This book is a history of the planet, from the first days of creation to the current era)

Chapter 1. Ancient Time of Ritual (Invisibility)

Chapter 2. Magog - The Final Battle of Angels (Puny)
Chapter 3. Trinity Denied (Irrational Fear)
Chapter 4. Black (Crown of Flesh)
Chapter 5. The Angel's Hope of Isolation (Blood Substitution)
Chapter 6. A Life of Dark Desires (Moronic)

Spells:
1. Turn the Cross Upside Down
2. Feel What I Feel      Duration: 3 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 1 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 3
3. Blacken the World      Duration: 6 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 4 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 5
4. ??
5. Deformed Rituals      Duration: 2 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 3 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 7
6. ??


Seelenpein 
Codex of the Second Coven
(A description of the creation of the four primordial temples of Demogorgon--still extant--located in the northern kingdom once known as Selenpein. Contains useful information on the temples themselves.)

1. And Black Melted The Grove of Gold (Tentacles)

2. Lycaon Pictus (Flaming Skull Face)
3. Frozen Winterland (??)
4. The Slaughterhouse (Flaming Skull Face)

Spells:
1. Unholy Black Devotion      Duration: 4 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 3 ft/Lvl, Spell Level No caster level required to cast
2. Turn to Dust      Duration: 4 Rnds/Lvl, Range: Touch, Spell Level No caster level required to cast
3. Illuminate    Duration: 6 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 3 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 6
4. ??


Beyond Doubt
Codex of the Third Coven
(A philosophical text explaining introducing the primary metaphysical concepts and imperatives of the church of Demogorgon)

Chapter 1. Intro: The period of struggle returns (??)
Chapter 2. Anthropologic Relationship of Evil (Feathered Hide)
Chapter 3. Lord of My Soul (??)
Chapter 4. Rape Him (Blood Substitution)
Chapter 5. Amoth is a Lie (Evil Eye)
Chapter 6. Your Days Are Counting (Lycanthropy)

Spells:
1. Ridiculed Beliefs      Duration: 5 Rnds/Lvl, Range: Touch, Spell Level No caster level required to cast
2 Thoughts Of A Free Mind
3. Supreme Machiavellian Power     Duration: 4 Rnds/Lvl, Range: Touch, Spell Level 9
4. Diabolical Age      Duration: 3 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 5 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 6
5. Unlight
6. ??


Henen-A Em Amsu
Codex of the Fourth Coven
(An atlas, with maps, of the titular plane--Henen-A Em Amsu--where Demogorgon rules supreme. Each chapter refers to a different location.)

Chapter 1. An Universe Raped by Shadows (Limb Loss)
Chapter 2. The Horned Moon (Iron Hard Skin)
Chapter 3. ???
Chapter 4. Road to the Stars (Irrational Fear)
Chapter 5. Forces of Evil Under the Banner of The Adversary (??)
Chapter 6. Kingdom of The Adversary (Fire Breath)
Chapter 7. In Acie Cultri (Multiple Heads)
Chapter 8. ???
Chapter 9. ???
Chapter 10. ???
Chapter 11. ???
Chapter 12. It's such a lonely house (Fear of Blood)

Spells:
1. Sign of the Beast      Duration: 3 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 5 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 5
2. Stab to Death      Duration: 1 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 5 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 7
3. Abandoned      Duration: 4 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 5 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 6
4. Broken Illusions      Duration: Permanent Rnds/Lvl, Range: 5 Spell Level: 8
5. More than Hell      Duration: 6 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 5 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 4
6. Don't Believe Their Lies      Duration: 4 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 2 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 5
7. Set on Fire      Duration: 2 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 5 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 9
8. Deny the Virus of Heavenly Whore      Duration: 2 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 4 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 9
9. Kill False God     Duration: 2 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 5 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 8
10. The Curse Of Loneliness      Duration: 6 Rnds/Lvl, Range: Touch, Spell Level 7
11. Eternal Hate to the False      Duration: 3 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 4 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 6
12. ??


Dawn of a New Age
Codex of the Fifth Coven
(A lyric hymn to His glory in 4 parts)

Chapter 1. Ex Carne et ex Spiritu (Turn to Abomination)
Chapter 2. Evil Rules Supreme (Turn to Abomination)
Chapter 3 My shadow (Limb Loss)
Chapter 4 Fuck Me Father (??)

Spells:
1. ??
2. Wandering    Duration: 5 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 3 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 3
3. ??
4. ??

Adversarialize Rehearsal
Codex of the Sixth Coven
(A description of rituals designed to bring about the end of all creation)

Chapter 1. The Warning (Bulging Eyes)
Chapter 2. Summoning to The Adversary (Irrational Hatred)
Chapter 3. I Fell for All (Growth)
Chapter 4. ???

Spells:
1. Voice of Ancient
2. Verge of doubt 5 Rnds/Lvl, Range: Touch, Spell Level 9
3. Wrath of Demogorgon      Duration: 3 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 2 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 5
4. ??


Tenebrae
Codex of the Seventh Coven
(A keyed map of Tenebrae, the Palace Of Demogorgon on the plane of Henen-A Em Amsu. Each Chapter is a room/area.)

Chapter 1. Seal of the Dragon (Multiple Heads)
Chapter 2. Black Destination of Doom (Invisibility)
Chapter 3. Destination (??)
Chapter 4. The Ninth Gate (??) 
Chapter 5. Lake of Dreams (Irrational Hatred)
Chapter 6. Agony From The Warrior Woman's Heart (??)
Chapter 7. ...Just Shadows (Limb Loss)
Chapter 8. King (Burning Body)
Chapter 9. ???
Chapter 10. Buried Soul (Enormous Noise)
Chapter 11. Where Is He...? (Evil Eye)
Chapter 12. The Parable of the Dying Stars (And the One who Killed Them) (Invent Your Own)

Spells:
1. Forever Burn
2. Crucify      Duration: 3 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 3 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 2
3. Hate      Duration: 3 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 2 ft/Lvl, Spell Level8
4. Six-Cut Sodomy      Duration: 4 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 3 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 4
5. Christpenetration      Duration: 5 Rnds/Lvl, Range: Touch, Spell Level 4
6. Day Of Darkness      Duration: 4 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 3 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 3
7. Into the Dungeon      Duration: 4 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 4 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 3
8. ??
9. Take My Life      Duration: 4 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 4 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 6
10. Bleeding      Duration: 2 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 3 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 1
11. Earth's Fate Foreseen      Duration: 6 Rnds/Lvl, Range: Touch, Spell Level 9
12. ??


Teratologia
Codex of the Eighth Coven
(Descriptions of creatures and servants of Demogorgon)

1. ???
2. Raven Dark (???)
3. Cuon Alpinus (Turn to Abomination)
4 Nänie (Hideous Appearance)
5. Preacher Teacher (Growth)
6. ???
7. A Nephilims Child (Limb Loss)
8. ???

Spells:
1. Blood Ritual      Duration: 1 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 4 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 5
2. Devils Elixirs 1     Duration: 2 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 2 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 4
3. Devils Elixirs 2      Duration: 2 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 1 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 5
4. Sacrifice God in the Name of The Adversary
5. Kill for a Drop of Blood      Duration: 2 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 5 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 7
6. Bleeding Anus of Amoth (???)
7. Do not hold    Duration: 5 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 4 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 7
8. ??


Vile Demo (...gorgon? The only copy of this tome extant in the civilized lands was much abused in the Slow War)
Codex of the Ninth Coven
(A theography of Demogorgon)

Chapter 1. The Coronation of The Adversary (Crown of Flesh)
Chapter 2. Sadness gave birth death face (Evil Eye)
Chapter 3. History of Sin (??)
Chapter 4. Lost in Revenge for Harm (Limb Loss)
Chapter 5. My Dream of Life (??)
Chapter 6. He is a Black… (fragment) (??)
Chapter 7. Scorn for Amoth (??)
Chapter 8. My Black Innerself (Evil Eye)

Spells:
1. Coronation
2. Evil/Desecrator      Duration: 3 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 2 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 1
3. Chaos in the Flesh      Duration: 3 Rnds/Lvl, Range: Touch, Spell Level 4
4. Enemy of Both Sides      Duration: 3 Rnds/Lvl, Range: Touch, Spell Level 8
5 Black Metal against "Black Metal" 4 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 4 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 5
6 ??
7 ??
8 ??


Gallows Twilight
Codex of the Tenth Coven
(Chapters unknown--it is known that this Coven is home to the three witches Thorn, Frost, and Dread, and is divided in 3 sub-books)

Wizard Spells:
1. Illusion      Duration: 4 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 5 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 2
2. Terror      Duration: 2 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 4 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 2
3. Desire
4. Fear the Arrival
5. Suicide
6. Yearning for Death
7. Scorn      Duration: 2 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 4 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 6
8. The First Blood Before Sunrise     Duration: 6 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 2 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 9
9. Hordes of the Black Circle     Duration: 3 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 1 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 7
10. ??

Witch Spells:
1. Lust Forever      Duration: 4 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 5 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 7
2. On Your Knees (God)      Duration: 4 Rnds/Lvl, Range: Touch, Spell Level 6
3. ...of Wolfscreams and Deathwishes
4. End:  The Flight of Light
5. Searching the Entrance     Duration: 4 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 3 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 3
6. Sanse Macabre
7. Give thy Blood for The Adversary
8. ??
9. The Fierce Unholy Masquerade      Duration: 6 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 5 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 4
10. ??

Cleric Spells:
1. Arrival of Mighty      Duration: 4 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 2 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 5
2. A Holiday In Black      Duration: 1 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 2 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 5
3. Fetal Frenzy      Duration: 3 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 4 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 3
4. Morbid Satisfaction      Duration: 2 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 4 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 3
5. Hopeful Victory     Duration: 3 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 4 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 2
6. Black Clouds of Death      Duration: 2 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 3 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 4
7. Putrifying Thoughts      Duration: 3 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 2 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 4
9. AA       Duration: 2 Rnds/Levl, Range: :2ft/Lvl, Spell Level 3
10. ??


Sen Hada (Nightmare Serpent)
Codex of the Eleventh Coven
(Contents unknown)

Spells
1. ??
2. The Adversary's Sun
3. Act      Duration: 5 Rnds/Lvl, Range: 4 ft/Lvl, Spell Level 1
4. ??

Demogorgon
Codex of the Twelfth Coven
(Contents unknown)

Spells:
1. ??
2. Godsfall
3. ??
4. ??
5. ??
6. ??
7. ??
8. ??
9. ??
10. ??
11. ??
12. ??


Known Servants of Demogorgon Include:

Aelfhild, pirate werecaptain of the Fenris.
The three witches Thorn, Frost and Dread.
Belphegor, a demon with three heads

To generate a coven of Demogorgon, roll one of each die (a lot easier with a pop-o-matic bubble):

d4=Light Rank-and-File
1. Humans
2. Elves
3. Halflings
4. As d6 roll

d6=Heavy Rank-and-File (Note: Gnolls and beastmen will not work together)
1. Beastmen
2. Gnolls
3. Humans
4. Centigors
5. Flagellants
6. Skaven/Wererats

d8=Leader
1. Beastman 
2. Centigor
3. Gnoll
4. Werewolf
5. Marilith
6. Minotaur
7. Kenku (crow type)
8. Witch

d10=# of Each Kind of Rank-and-File

d12=Coven Number (see above)

d20=Creatures 
1. Thogs (long) (6)
2. Thogs (tall) (4)
3. Evil treant
4. Troll
5. Manticore
6. Ettin
7. Abomination
8. Harpy
9. Man of Wounds
10. Peryton
11. Vomiter
12. Thornchild
13. Black Unicorn
14. Ringwolf
15. Gryph
16. Hag
17. Roll d12 on this table 2 times
18. Roll d12 on this table 3 times
19. Roll d12 on this table 4 times
20. Roll d12 on this table 5 times


…Once you know the Coven number, you can assign Chapter numbers to any rank-and-file creatures. At least one member of the coven will be carrying a copy of its Codex at all times.



Tuesday, January 7, 2014

The Black Wing of Tiamat

The Church of Tiamat is fivefold--comprising The Red Hand, The Pale Eye, The Cobalt Claw, The Jade Fang and the Black Wing. The Black Wing's color is black, and it seeks the powers of devouring, of night, of isolation, of words and divisions, and of long distances.
Each of the five sister churches has a unique purpose in the unfolding of Her glory, and the Black Wing's purpose is to erect temples and offices to Her glory. These are known as the Dimmu Borgir, or Dark Fortresses and are both physical and spiritual.
Creation of the physical fortresses--located in the doomforests in around the Kraal north of Vornheim--requires only time and the bones of beasts, mortared with frozen tears.

Creation of the spiritual fortresses requires various acts of despoliation and evolving terror designed to manifest and maintain far-reaching oppressive despair in the civilized lands, or, as Primarch Tjodalv's Glittertind Litany explains:

The sorrow black journey across the steppes over pale horizons unto judgement day, the path into the darkness of eternity, the new kingdom under the wings of the Dragon, ruler of the hidden truth--for all time.

The Black Wing does not hold that all must accept the coming of Her Gleaming Immensity, only that they fear it, and fear their merciful fate.
The known devotees and champions of the Black Wing are:

1. The Black Knight, an antipaladin
2. Two human pirate queens: Anne Dieu-Le-Veut of The Black Angel's Death Song, and Cthonia the Despoiler, Warmistress of the Rogue Traitors.
3. The Twelve Medusa Sisters: Princess Seela (likewise a pirate), Eshrigel (deceased), Thrace, Oscula,  Naxice, Dia Andine, Cylesia, MoroschkaVistula,  Orgula, Phrothphys, and one other
4. Twelve Beastmen: Gorguts,  Despised Icon, The Faceless, Malignancy, Nocturnus, Opeth, Pestilence, Wretched,  Winter, Brujeria, Asphyx and Quovadis
5. Twelve Frost Giants Of The Hatemountain: Venom, Mayhem, Hellhammer, Burzum, Darkthrone, Gorgoroth, Samael, Kreator, Behemoth, Immortal, Krallice and Agalloch
6. Four Succubi: Isis, Candlemass, Sleep, and Grief




Black is the color of names and naming, and the several attributes of each servant can be known by the letters of its name. Repeated letters indicate increased or multiplied attributes.

A Agitate: Mortals save or become unruly, demanding revolution, regicide
B Brutal Truth: Knows one devastating fact about each foe
C Circle of Dead Children: Humans & deminhumans under thirteen winters die in a 12 foot radius
D Devourment: Gains best ability score of last foe eaten
E Extreme Noise Terror: Releases a bellow which deafens and panics those around
F Fleas and Lice: Served by dark creepers and gargoyles carved from living anthracite
G Gore Beyond Necropsy: All wounds inflicted cause "echo" damage (next lower die each round)
H Head Wound City: Any blow to the head of this champion will cause a dark fortress to slowly emerge on that spot over the coming years
I Impetigo: Carries a disease which makes foes' shadows attack them
J Jungle Rot: Causes disease
K Kaaos: Flora and fauna mutate for 100 feet around them
L Locust: swarm precedes them
M Mortification: Those who look upon them must save or stab themselves
N Nausea: Those who look upon them must save or vomit
O Orphaned Land: Is the leader of a small city-state around their Dimmu Borgir
P Phobia: Causes fear
Q Queens of the Stone Age: They rule an empire of throwback technology and also suck
R Repulsion: As AD&D spell
S Severed Head of State: Has openly or secretly replaced the ruler of a sovereign nation
T Terrorizer: Lacks all subtlety, demands immediate surrender
U Unholy Grave: Will rise as undead if proper rites are not performed
V Vomit Yourself: If reduced to 10 hit points, the champion will vomit out a clone of themselves with full hit points
W Wake: The champion's warband is an eternal orgy celebrating the death of the fallen, doombats serve as outriders
X Xysma: Served by Xysmas--a kind of hook horrors
Y Young and In The Way: Their presence turns children against their parents
Z Zero Content: Any writing not dedicated to Tiamat within 100' begins to burn

Doombat. They're, like, I don't know, 20 feet wide?




Xysma--THIS kind of hook horror
To generate a warband of the Black Wing, roll one of each die (a lot easier with a pop-o-matic bubble)(or this):

d4= Rank and file is: 1-Human 2-Beastmen 3-Both 4-Both and mounted on black destriers

d6= Leader. See "Devotees and Champions" above.

d8= Number of wizards or clerics (never more than 50% of the warband's size).

d10= (x4)=AD&D hit points of followers or (x6)=3.5 hit points of followers

d12= Power of magic axe carried by champion:

*1. Slayer: Successful hit causes a save or die vs one kind of demihuman

*2. Sepultura: Contains the soul of a fallen champion

*3. Testament: One of the Sacred Litanies is inscribed on the weapon

*4. Onslaught: Three attacks per round

*5. Annihilator: Disintegrates armor on a successful hit

*6. Sacrilege: Destroys cleric effects (bless, shield etc) at a touch

*7. Carnivore: Wounds inflicted on resisting foes add to wielder's hp

*8. Exciter: Wielder must attack nearest living thing once weapon is unsheathed

*9. Overkill: Slain foes cannot be raised, resurrected or turned undead

*10. Warbringer: None seeing a successful blow struck with this weapon can stop until their foes or slain or they are

*11. Hunter: Wielder will not die until whoever reduces him/her to 0hp is slain, so long as the weapon is held

*12. Violator: Clerics cannot heal the damage the weapon inflicts

All these instruments are known for their speed and attack at least twice per round.

d20=Size of the warband.



Sunday, January 5, 2014

The Red Hand of Tiamat


The Red Hand of Tiamat is the most obvious of the sister cults (see also: The Cobalt Claw, The Jade Fang, The Pale Eye, and The Black Wing)--its color is the color of discord, blood, unreason and hate. The Red Church makes possible the work of all the other churches, its gospel is expansionist, and its name is conflict.
It would not be appropriate to suggest the Red Hand has a philosophy but scholars of the other churches have a philosophy of it, and cede to it a role. The Red Hand is less an entity than a process--it represents the front between the Sanctities of Tiamat and the Failed Gnosis (that is: belief in anything other than Tiamat)--it does not represent so much as manifest. Having no static dogma, it does not teach, merely invite members to join in its constant and insane incarnation of itself.
…or so it would appear. Although to outward appearances the Red Hand is nothing more than a tide of meaningless and unceasing ferocity, it actually has a singular purpose: the creation and care of Lava Children.
Their motto, "Ethrezged Morsiphex Edda N'Isaphor" means "Bring Strife and Extinguish" in the tongue of the Abyss, however, in the language of Manscorpions it reads "Won't someone please think of the lava children?"
It is said that lava children are the embryonic forms of salamanders, born deep in the bowels of volcanoes--this is not true. Lava children are born to most intelligent humanoid species--one in every one hundred and five children born is a lava child--and the cult attempts to claim each as its own.

Lava children are inimical to all civil society: they are ignorant, irrational, greedy, demanding, unattractive, tiresome, have no useful skills and only one hit point each. Luckily for the Hand, they are also bright red--otherwise it would be impossible to tell them apart from ordinary infants.

They have two unusual abilities: they burn what they touch (and melt metal), and they stimulate, in  members of the host species, a powerful urge to serve their real and imagined needs.
Save or obey this horrible baby.
It is said that the demands of the lava children, if followed, will bring about a new and superior future, though on the content of this future the Red Hand Church is curiously vague--the only certainties are that the lava children will mature and that all adults now living will be dead.
Nevertheless the demands are made--and all under their spell must follow them. Very often those who obey the whims of the unspeaking and unspeakable children have no lava children of their own, they are merely attempting to prepare the world for their coming.


At any given moment, the current demands of the Lava Children are:

1. Older and stricter marriage rites must be followed, to inculcate the production and care of lava children.

2. Nomadic or trading civilizations must convert to agricultural ones, to feed the Children.

3. Strange cycles of degradation and glorification must be inflicted on mothers, so they are both cared for when with child and quickly abandoned for new prospects when without.

4. The reproductive activities of unmarried women must be controlled through campaigns of psychological intimidation, such that they do not stray into penury and contraception. 

5. A large, poorly policed underclass with limited access to education must be created--for the production of more lava children, and it must be overseen by a small but powerful ruling class whose purpose is not so much to create more children but keep the underclass uneducated about the true cost of their own.

6. Sexual imagery must be banished from the public square, and those responsible burned, lest it corrupt the solidifying minds of the lava children.

7. Fictions must be made utopian, lest the lava children be distressed by uncomfortable ideas, or else banished altogether, lest the lava children mistake them for reality.

8. All useful industry must stop, particularly in the field of graphic design, so the Children may be taken on vacations.



Leaders of Red Hand factions include:

1. The Red Knight (or Paladin Cardinal)
2. Vlad Vortigen, the Red King, head of the vampiric Red House of Voivodja
3. Erzebet Bathyscape, vampiric Heart Queen of Voivodja
4. The Sleeping Captain Ba'Al'Sheeba (herself an exiled vampire of Voivodja) pirate queen of the Blood Angel
5. Queen Nocturr, pirate captain of the Salamander

They war eternally with one another, for each believes in the primacy of its own dictates concerning the appropriate preparations for a future safe for lava children.

The ranks of Red Hand expeditionary forces are swelled most often by:

1. Salamanders
2. Lava children
3. Iron cobras
4. Manscorpions
5.  Red goblins  mounted on boars
6. Humans of all nations


Their plans are most often enforced by:

1. Subjugation
2. Summoning
3. Burning
4. Mutilation
5. Inquisition
6. Assassination

The tools of their assassins include:

1. The Hand of Glory
2. A fire that negates spells by setting spellbooks alight
3. Jewelled glove claws in bronze and ruby
4. Messages which, when read aloud by unwitting victims, immediately summon shocking atrocities


To generate a warband of the Red Hand, roll one of each die (a lot easier with a pop-o-matic bubble):

d4= Auxiliary creatures: 1. Salamanders 2. Lava children 3. Iron cobras 4. Manscorpions

d6= Main force is: 1-Mounted humans 2-Unmounted human 3-Mounted red goblins 4-Unmounted red goblins 5-Mounted vampire 6-Unmounted vampire

d8= Level of wizard or cleric. A typical warband will have one.

d10= (x5)=AD&D hit points or (x7)=3.5 hit points
(The leader will be a fighter or paladin with twice as many hp)

d12=To hit bonus

d20=This is the size of the warband--1/3rd of the force (not counting mounts) will be auxiliary creatures.