Expedition To Expedition To The Ruins of Greyhawk Part 1

I periodically stare at the pile of RPG books under the bed, rueful and puzzled that there seems to be absolutely not one single useful new idea in the whole stack.

Then I go "Oh that can't be true!" and I pick one up, and it tells me that Readyr'eat is the name of a month in Autumn and I shriek like Linda Blair and then I die.

But today I will be perverse and brave: I am going to actually try to read a published D&D product all the way through.

This will be no ordinary Let's Read snarkfest though. I am actually going to try to extract useful game stuff as I go. If I find a good idea, I'll make it big and you'll read about it here--I am reading this so you don't have to. We'll see how that goes.

And then, if you're very good and I've got nothing better to do--I'll rewrite the thing with only the good ideas.

For this exercise I've pulled this off the shelf:

Expedition to the Ruins of Greyhawk is a 3rd edition expanded and WOTCfied version of the TSR dungeon Greyhawk Ruins which was, in its turn, a D&D 2nd edition attempt to describe what was under the original D&D dungeon, Gary Gygax's Castle Greyhawk.

Which is to say, it is a 3rd generation telephone game attempt to recreate the primal ur dungeon that never saw print, which is some kind of metaphor for something I guess. We'll either get three layers of ideas or three layers of things to make fun of.

Plus, grognards in the cheap seats, free to angrily chuck fish parts and Greyhawk lore at me from the balcony. There will be many opportunities for it.

I'm drunk! Let's go...

On the cover: Michael Komarck goves us a strikingly photorealistic depiction of the model who posed for the photo reference for Michael Komarck's cover. His earrings are asymmetrical.

Introduction: In a place north of a place lies a dungeon wherewithin is stuff built by a guy. He isn't there any more.

Castle Greyhawk Birthplace of Adventure: Ok, so...(forgive me I'm only 4 paragraphs in and it's already like reading the plot of nine Marvel summer crossovers mashed together)...so there's all these guys whose names are D&D spells and also, coincidentally anagrams of Gary Gygax's original players  aaaaand...they're old now and there's a bad guy who wants to kill them. I think that's the size of it.

Then it tells us what's coming up...

I. The Free City of Greyhawk This is where there'll be an inn and thieves and all that.

II. The Castle And The Dungeons What it says on the tin. One hopes.

III. The Tower of War When the PCs finally arrive at the gates of Castle Greyhawk, they find that the only way inside is through the front gates of Zagig’s Tower of War... This used to be the crazy wizard's armory. If I remember correctly from Greyhawk Ruins it's a pointless funhouse of crazy wizard trouble with some kind of cheap humanoids occasionally realizing you're there. The description here seems to reinforce that it'll be that plus some bonus railroading.

IV. City of Hawks City of Thieves To get further in the dungeon, you go back to the City, ride a railroad to a bossfight and get a key.

V. Wrath of the Old One Return to dungeon, learn about plot, get attacked by demigod.

VI. In Zagig's Shadow More plot, tri-force hunt, conclusion.

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Then the major NPCs are introduced...

Zagig (aka Zagyg): Crazy wizard. Imprisoned 9 demigods in his dungeon.

Iuz: Race: Part-demon. Class: Bastard. Level: Dark Lord. "Those who rebelled or refused to submit to his will were ruthlessly slain, their skulls placed along a bloody three-hundred-mile road..." (That's especially good if they're not on pikes or anything, just lined up next to each other like shoes at the swimming pool for miles and miles and miles. Think of all the adventure hooks in those skulls. Every single person who stood against the dark lord. Plus, like, they knew if they died their skulls would be placed on the road, so some of them probably, being self-sacrificing good-guy types, encoded weapons, schemes, codes and spells against evil in their skulls.) Caught. Placed in the castle/dungeon. Then released by an adventurer, then set up his evil kingdom again. Had a fight, treaty. Still plotting revenge.

Zuoken: Legendary monk. Also captured by Zagig. A cult still seeks to free him. (If you're going to have 9 demigods trapped in your dungeon, having various interested parties trying to free each one for their own purposes is a good way to generate drama on the cheap.)

Vayne: Lieutenant of Iuz. Convinced Iuz to use an underground tunnel from their army's current location to the dungeon and then to the City of Greyhawk itself which apparently has some mcguffin Iuz wants. However, now that Vayne's actually in the dungeon and getting a look at all the magic stuffs in it, he's considering going all Starscream on his boss. He also keeps a fake version of his boss's mom around for reasons which I'm sure will become clear later.

Iggwilv: Iuz's mom. Her prisoner/lover was a demon prince. Trapped elsewhere. Inexplicably duplicated by Vayne.

Mordenkainen: Ok, here's what I know about Mordenkainen--whereas "Zagyg" was the name of the wizard Gary Gygax invented to explain Castle Greyhawk, "Mordenkainen" was the name of Gary's actual main wizard PC he used to play games with. As for the official bio given here in the module: I just read a tax code worth of text and am no wiser. 1- He's a wizard and 2- he tricked his friend into freeing Iuz for some dumb reason. That's all I got.

Robilar: This is the friend Mordenkainen tricked into freeing Iuz. He's some kind of badass apparently and has some dragons and owns a bar. They ran him out of town for letting the bad guy out. I'm pretty bored. ( The real story is more interesting. )

Ricard Damaris: He runs the bar.

Aaaaaand that's the first part.

For those keeping score at home....

Pages: 10
Words: 6,516
Good ideas: 5

Next time: Chapter 1--The City of Greyhawk
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Search And Replace Dungeon

Step 1

Cut the entire text below the map and paste it into a word processor--without reading it first!

Step 2

Use the Find-Replace function to replace each of the descriptive terms below in italics with one that fits your setting in the text throughout the entire document. So, like if you were running an Egyptian setting you could replace ~MainVillain with "MummyLich" or ~InterestingSubstance with "blood from the sun".

Step 3

Enlarge the map and read your new dungeon. Report any bugs here.

Step 4

Pick an entrance (north or south) and run it

Step 5

Repeat and alter method as needed.

Map based on a free one from Paratime Designs

~ThingThatMakesNoiseConstantlyAndAMonsterCanFitInIt 

~BeautifulCreature

~GoblinTypeCreature

~ANounThatDescribesSomethingThatMightHappenIfYouTalkToAPerson

~HumanoidType1

~BigFuckingMagicMonster 

~ImportantPrisoner

~InterestingFieldOfStudy

 ~CreepyGod 

~SmallWarAnimal

~SkulkingMonster

~SomethingYouMightFindInAVial

~InconveniencingEffectThatThePCsWillWantToDeactivateButWhichWillNotMakeTheAdventureBoringWhenActivated

 ~MasterMindMonster

 ~ThingsTheMastermindMonsterWouldCollect

~CommonSubstance 

~InterestingSubstance

~NumberBetween4And10

~MusicalInstrument 

~MildlyExoticInformationStorageDevices

~AnyIntelligentCreatureInTheDungeon

~FunnybutValuableObject

~SomethingSmallAndAliveAndHarmless

~RoamingIntelligentInhabitantMonster

 ~ARoomFeatureYouCanHideAKeyIn

~SomethingYouCanWear

~ActionItWouldBeBadToTake 

~Liquid 

~SomethingSmallThatFloats

~GiantBruteMonster

~MainVillain 

~TypicalBedroomFurnishing

~KindOfContainer

~ContainerTrap

~TheKindOfToysAJuvenileVersionOfTheMainVillainWouldPlayWith

~Trap1

~TerrifyingThing

~SoldierMonsterTypes

~TerribleIntelligentMonster

~FormOfEnergy1

~FormOfEnergy2

~Profession1

~Profession2 

~Profession3 

~TypeOfPowerWordSpell

~HorribleNoise

~DeadAncientHero 

~HeroesFormerAlly

~CategoryOfAnimal

~ValuableMagicItem 

~CreatureCapableOfPolymorphingItself 

~KindOfAncientHumanoidCivilization

~TreasureHoardedByThem

~TrapCharacteristicOfThem

~HumanoidType2

~ThingThePCsHaveBeenLookingFor

~ObjectsThatCouldBeDangerousIfHandledImproperly

~CrawlingInsect

~FormOfInformationValuableToPCs 

~ThingsPeopleLoseInADungeon 

~InterestingSpell 

~BackfireVersionOfThatSpell

~ImmobileWasteDevouringMonster

~IntelligentFriendlyCreature

~ReasonAVillainWouldKeepAHeroAlive

~PowerfulDemonicCreature

~Vermin

~WeirdGuardMonster

~MainVillainLieutenants

~TrapInMainVillain'sRoom

~SacrificialCreature

~Color

The sound of the ~ThingThatMakesNoiseConstantlyAndAMonsterCanFitInIt is audible throughout if PCs enter through the north entrance. The ceilings are ~NumberBetween4And10 feet high.

Check for wandering monsters every 3 game minutes or whenever PCs make a lot of noise, roll d10:

1-2 d6 ~Vermin

3-4 d4 ~HumanoidType1 s (with keys to green locks)

5 1 Giant Collecting ~CrawlingInsect looking to kill PCs and steal their ~ThingsPeopleLoseInADungeon

6-10 Nothing

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1 Stairs to surface/next level 

2  ~BeautifulCreature-It is a foot tall & eerily beautiful. It is harmless. If unmolested, it will continue to roam the halls.

3 Fragments of a dazzling ~InterestingSubstance mosaic, very damaged, are here--a landscape with only a pair of white legs ending in hooves are visible so far.

Pieces of the mosaic can be found throughout the dungeon, and will fuse to the wall if placed on the mosaic.

The true form of the mosaic is of ~DeadAncientHero of the ~kindofancienthumanoidcivilization on a horse--and assembling it will create a work of art worth PC level x 1000gp, however it is possible to construct false forms by accident or design.

Existing mosaic+humanoid upper body = a demon. The ~PowerfulDemonicCreature in 76 will begin calling anyone present to it. Save vs spell.

Existing mosaic+missing front horse legs+human upper body = centaur. Each round, violent madness will be inflicted on whichever party member rolls the lowest on a d20 until they leave the room.

Missing pieces are in rooms 19, 87, 50

4 This ~GoblinTypeCreature is intelligent & can speak but does not show it because it fears ~ANounThatDescribesSomethingThatMightHappenIfYouTalkToAPerson It seeks the ~FunnyButValuableObject in room 21

5 Dead ~HumanoidType1

6 Monster in 7 can be heard from here

7 ~BigFuckingMagicMonster It is too large to leave the room. Drinks from well

8 Three ~HumanoidType1 s looking for ~ImportantPrisoner

9 Echoing corridor

10 Statue of ~CreepyGod --vandalized. d6 dead ~HumanoidType1 s with a ~SmallWarAnimal here dead in the center of the triangle, apparently dragged from 25. The triangle will slowly devour them over the course of an hour, at which point the statue will come to life and seek out the ~PowerfulDemonicCreature in room 75. 

11 ~SkulkingMonster inside a ~ThingThatMakesNoiseConstantlyAndAMonsterCanFitInIt 

12 Nonfunctional ~ThingThatMakesNoiseConstantlyAndAMonsterCanFitInIt 

13 -Junk everywhere, vial of ~SomethingYouMightFindInAVial

14 As soon as the PCs enter this room the  ~InconveniencingEffectThatThePCsWillWantToDeactivateButWhichWillNotMakeTheAdventureBoringWhenActivated will activate.

A wizard will recognize the effect as a product of a special curse that can be removed on the request of a specific livingmaster (the ~MasterMindMonster )

15 Kitchen. Pots, pans, the usual. There is a brick oven & a  small pantry closet. A halfling could fit in it.

16 This room is full of  ~ThingsTheMastermindMonsterWouldCollect that the

~MastermindMonster has collected.

The columns here look weak and can be destroyed with 30 pts of damage. The ceiling will cave in.

17 2 identical statues. One made of ~CommonSubstance one made of ~InterestingSubstance

18 There is a ~MusicalInstrument here worth 2500gp. Playing it for the first time will cause monster in room 7 to break out and crash through the rooms, collapsing the ceilings until it gets to the player.

19 Library. Full of ~MildlyExoticInformationStorageDevices

-humanoid upper body mosaic pieces from the mosaic in room 3

20 Hall. 11 small portrait paintings. One of each of ~AnyIntelligentCreatureInTheDungeon's sisters. They

are worth d20 x 100gp to collectors with unusual tastes

21 Paladin of ~CreepyGod fighting ~HumanoidType1 wizard in desperate battle

 ~FunnybutValuableObject. Worth 600gp.

22 Empty cells.

23 Old dining room. Three paintings here: each eight feet wide, worth 2000 gp each. 

24 WC

25 Dying Priest of ~CreepyGod, just finished pulling foes to room 10

~SmallWarAnimal

~MastermindMonster. It is disguised as ~SomethingSmallAndAliveAndHarmless and will observe the PCs.

26  ~RoamingIntelligentInhabitantMonster is here--it does not speak & obeys the ~MasterMindMonster. ~RoamingIntelligentInhabitantMonster has (as always) hidden a key to room 67 in  ~ARoomFeatureYouCanHideAKeyIn

27 There is a cursed ~SomethingYouCanWear. Any creature inspecting it will be afflicted by a desire to ~ActionItWouldBeBadToTake for 1d4 rounds. 

28 Channel of ~Liquid from south ends in a pool here

29 Channel down center of hallway filled with ~Liquid a ~SomethingSmallThatFloats is floating in it

30 Empty

31-Secret door activated by mechanism in room 85

32-Secret door activated by mechanism in room 85

33 Pool of ~Liquid

34 Dead ~HumanoidType2 carrying diary, contains biographical details of ~MainVillain including its birthday

35  ~Color crystal formation. Anything ~Color that touches it will begin to vibrate unnaturally--the object will then reflect magic for one hour and then explode.

36 Walking into this room lowers steel bars where the green O's are and releases monster in 37.

37 ~GiantBruteMonster in cage.

38 ~MainVillain's bedroom. If ~MainVillain is not in this room the (ordinary) doors will be locked.  Secret door: behind a ~TypicalBedroomFurnishing--a thin crack will be visible. Room contains a make-up table (no mirror, of course), a canopy bed hung with velvet, (d12 x 100) gp worth of other

trinkets. The bed, painting, ~Mainvillain 's wardrobe, & the table are each worth (d12 x 100) gp. There is a ~KindOfContainer with a ~ContainerTrap trap under the bed containing 600 gp & locket with a small painting of ~Mainvillain

39  Switch raises and lowers bars in rms 36-38

40 ~Child's bedroom. Belongs to ~Mainvillain's daughter. Her remaining toys ( ~TheKindOfToysAJuvenileVersionOfTheMainVillainWouldPlayWith ) are here.

41 ~Trap1 activated by door

42  Stone walls carved into the shape of ~TerrifyingThing

43 ~SoldierMonsterTypes

44 ~TerribleIntelligentMonster in cage. Sibling of ~MainVillain Gone mad long ago. She may aid the PCs if they convince her they can help her escape the dungeon. She hates~MainVillain & will make any deal to be reunited with her, but again, will turn on anyone aware of her existence immediately afterward.

45 Anything made of ~CommonSubstance placed on the altar will be transformed into ~InterestingSubstance.

Any ~FormofEnergy1in the circle or crossing it will be transformed into ~FormOfEnergy2

46 Texts sacred to religion of ~CreepyGod

47 Puzzle room: ~profession1, ~Profession2 and ~Profession3 are sacred to this religion. A magic mask asks 3 questions only members of those professions, respectively, would know. Wrong answers = ~TypeOfPowerWordSpell and it emits a ~HorribleNoise

48 Statue of a creature of ~FormOfEnergy1 . An Archpriest of ~CreepyGod is here. (PC level x 1000 gp worth of gold flake on statue.)

49 Murals depicting ~DeadAncientHero and betrayal by ~HeroesFormerAlly

50 Tombs. d6 Priests of ~CreepyGod

Fragment of mosaic in room 3 showing horse head and humanoid lower body in a saddle.

51 Tombs. Vial: Substance repels ~CategoryOfAnimal

52 Tomb of ~DeadAncientHero

53 Mouldering skeleton of hero's traitorous ally ~ValuableMagicItem 

54 d6 ~SoldierMonsterTypes guarding sacrifice chamber. They have keys to the cage in room 55. 

55 ~Trap1

Apparently a ~SacrificialCreature in a cage. Is actually a ~CreatureCapableOfPolymorphingItself . It is looking for the ~GoblinTypeCreature because it betrayed her.

56 Prayer room, distinctive to ~CreepyGod

57 Prayer room, distinctive to ~CreepyGod 

58 2 dead ~SoldierMonsterTypes

59 2 dead ~SoldierMonsterTypes --one muttering "The ~HumanoidType2 , the ~HumanoidType2 " shattered manacles on the floor.

60 2 ~SoldierMonsterTypes  guarding the entrance to room 61

61  ~ThingThePCsHaveBeenLookingFor being examined by 3 ~SoldierMonsterTypes

Room is full of ~ObjectsThatCouldBeDangerousIfHandledImproperly

62 Giant Collecting ~CrawlingInsect. A pile of its eggs obscure the door to the north. Two ~MildlyExoticInformationStorageDevices containing ~FormOfInformationValuableToPCs are hidden under the pile.

63 Full of ~ThingsPeopleLoseInADungeon collected by a giant Collecting ~CrawlingInsect 

64 Well, rusty water.

Dead adventurers. Burned spellbook. Partially accurate formula for ~InterestingSpell remains. Failed int check indicates ~BackfireVersionOfThatSpell

65 Door to north opens easily, door to east seems old and stuck.

66 ~ImmobileWasteDevouringMonster room.  ~RoamingIntelligentInhabitantMonster throws organic waste into this room.. The~ImmobileWasteDevouringMonster covers the entire room, including the wall, obscuring the locked, unpickable secret door there. 

67 -~IntelligentFriendlyCreature. It knows all about the ~MasterMindMonster, which is why the ~MasterMindMonster has had

~RoamingIntelligentInhabitantMonster wall it up in a secret chamber. ~MasterMindMonster keeps it alive ~ReasonAVillainWouldKeepAHeroAlive

68 Murals, int check to read, glyphs and pictograms seem to refer to ~InterestingSubstance and ~FormOfEnergy2

69- Empty or stairs to surface/next level

70 Quiet room.

71 Prison Contains d10+10 victims of ~Mainvillain. A variety of sentient species 

are represented as well as a few celebrated & high-level missing persons.

72 Door is large, impressive and locked. Picking is at half chance.

73 Throne room of King/Queen of ~kindofancienthumanoidcivilization . Long dead ~kindofancienthumanoidcivilization

74  ~TreasureHoardedByThem guarded by ~TrapCharacteristicOfThem 

75 ~PowerfulDemonicCreature It has been trapped here by a mystic seal on the secret door by the ~MasterMindMonster and seeks revenge.

76 Clearly a room once built by the ~kindofancienthumanoidcivilization culture.

77 Contains various instruments of ~InterestingFieldOfStudy

78 Disused ~InterestingFieldOfStudy room. ~MainVillain was having experiments conducted until capture of ~ImportantPrisoner made them unnecessary.

~HumanoidType2 assassin seeking ~ImportantPrisoner

79 Disused ~InterestingFieldOfStudy room d4 ~Vermin

80 Disused ~InterestingFieldOfStudy room Blood, remains of ~Vermin

81 d8 ~Vermin

82 Statue of ~CreepyGod

83 d10 ~SoldierMonsterTypes plus ~WeirdGuardMonster

84 ~Mainvillain d4 ~MainvillainLieutenants ~TrapInMainvillain'sRoom experimenting with FormOfEnergy2. Huge dead ~SacrificialCreature conceals secret door. 

85 Cage containing mechanical model of universe, rotating planets into proper position for the day opens secret door in room 31, rotating them onto ~MainVillain 's birthday opens secret door in room 32

86  Pool of ~Liquid

87 ~ImportantPrisoner just escaped, hiding from the assassin in room 78.

-missing front horse legs from mosaic in room 3

88 Walls carved with scenes dedicated to ~CreepyGod depicting members of the following professions: ~Profession1 ~Profession2 ~Profession3--all kneeling

Careful inspection reveals that carving is not wholly original and the figures have been repurposed. There is a monster with a huge mouth where the secret door to 73-76 is.

Useless Piles of Scrap Rusting Away In The Martian Sun--The Early Years

An unfortunate cousin of Noisms Theorem of Character Gen Length and Player Cautiousness seems to be that the more time spent drawing a PC the less time you get to use it.

Which law made me somewhat wary of all the time I spent designing and drawing mechs for his Pendragon of Mars game--allegedly starting in 15 minutes.

However, it's no fun to play a game about space knights piloting giant robots unless you know what the giant robots look like, so I went ahead and did it...

I wanted to use this old mech--it's actually a drawing from life I made of a homemade mech I built for
Anarchist 40k but once I got ahold of the design rules for this game I started making close-combat mechs, so...no cannons

Each knight gets 4 mechs (like 4 horses). Clockwise from top left: Courser/Palfrey, Sumpter/Packmech, Courser/Palfrey, Charger/Destrier. The last number in the code refers to the weight of the mech--which I gather comes up a lot in combat. The other numbers to the total points used and the points used on weapons.

The idea of the one-armed palfrey on the bottom right is it's 19 tons and optimized for speed, so its only weapon is this nasty chewing-up fanblade thing in its chest. We used Mekton Zeta for the robot design rules--so that thing is, in game terms, a saw. It runs up to other mechs and feeds their heads into the devouring chamber--I hope.

Another old sketch--I figure this is maybe what my PCs martian homeland looks like.

Everybody has to have a coat of arms-it's in the rules.

This is kind of an alternate Palfrey. I figure it fits together kinda like an Adeptus Titanicus--cylindrical legs and stubby arms.

Close up of one of the Palfreys--in Mekton, beast-shaped mechs get bonuses to speed and close combat so I figured I kinda had to, since my guy hasn't got a lotta points in ranged weapons.

Another drawing of the destrier. Patrick recommended the name WREXLICH.

Some chess-themed mechs from an old sketchbook

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Of Fancies and Their Pants

PCs With Rank

Not all PCs begin or end life as rootless murder junkies.

Inherited rank

PCs born to rank and privilege are not unknown, but explaining why rich people would be roaming the wide world killing monsters for cash takes some doing. Any rationale will do, but the player must have one--it's part of character generation, go do it. Scions of noble houses who take up adventuring tend to be outcasts. At least until they level up a bit.

The benefits of an upper-class background are many but squishy--and they depend a great deal on which nobility the PC comes from and his or her proximity to it at any given moment. 

In game mechanical terms, at character creation the PC may declare him or herself a member of the nobility: you lose one point of constitution (and one also hit point if this does not change your total hit points already) in exchange for the right to call in a single favor from single wealthy relative some time during first level.

In addition, you get to call in a single favor during each subsequent level--one during second level, one during third, etc. Favors may not be "banked" for later levels--unused favors are lost. The relatives should be otherwise treated as ordinary NPCs and do not have superhuman abilities nor will they respond to unreasonable requests. GM's discretion.

If you need a list of eccentric aristocrats you should probably go buy this.

Responsibilities and command

No matter what layer of society a PC hails from, s/he may acquire true military or administrative responsibilities during a game through ordinary adventuring and deal-making.

The following rules of thumb may be handy for any GM with PCs in control of large numbers of people:

Any force or group of workers must be maintained at the usual local rate--usually about 1gp per person per day plus (for combatants) a share of any treasure.

A PC may adventure and level up as usual, but if s/he brings along a significant number of troops, s/he must divide the xp with them.

When PCs assign tasks to followers that they might conceivably fail at, decide the difficulty of the task as if it were an armor class--the PC's "to hit" roll is on a d20 and is modified by:

-the PC's charisma

-how well the followers have been paid (+1 per gp over 1 per day, for instance)

-any recent successes or misfortunes

-the suitability of the kind of troops to the task.

…if the success of the task is difficult to gauge immediately ("Build a bridge strong enough to hold the entire Red cavalry as it passes"), the GM may wish to keep the target number (and thus the result) secret until the success of the task is truly tested (like when the horses are actually on the bridge).

Overlords

Overlords are characters that lead soldiers on the field of battle or who otherwise administer vast operations. "Overlord" is not exactly a character class and does not refer to any specific title of nobility (an overlord PC may be a baron, countess or a general and a woman who leads a legion of cave amazons in battle is still, in these terms, an overlord), but rather a status that can be granted to PCs of any class. It signifies that the character has gained the trust of either a significant number of people or of a high-ranking NPC that is able to grant the PC control over a fiefdom, troops in the field, etc. and will continue to attract new followers automatically.

The requirements for a PC to achieve formal overlord status are as follows:

The PC has, by magic, skullduggery, cleverness, bribery or otherwise, acquired more than fifty armed followers in the course of the campaign and lead them all in battle on at least one occasion (not necessarily all at once).

Or…

The PC has reached at least 7th level, has managed to find a high-level NPC as patron, and regularly gives an even share of any xp and treasure gained during his or her adventures to that patron. (A typical "starting number" of followers granted by a patron in this way is 5d20).

The principal benefit of overlord status is that the PC ordinarily receives new followers of the most plentiful local kind each time s/he levels up--the number is equal to d100% of the number of existing followers. Other troops may be recruited as usual--by finding them and offering them something.

In addition, if the PC was granted the status by an NPC, the followers are paid for so long as the PC pays xp/gold tribute to their patron and the NPC remains among the living.

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Last Chance To Get Vornheim 1st ed & More Alice Art

A message from the publisher of that RPG book I did about running cities...

If you want a physical copy of Vornheim and you see it on a store shelf or in stock at your favorite webstore, GET IT. My distro warehouse person said last night they had 1 left, so whatever's in stock is pretty much it.

As you know, LotFP is a bit backlogged at the moment and Zak's next thing is A Red and Pleasant Land * so it'll be a bit before we get to Vornheim again.

(Thing is with small press, resources are limited and tying them up with reprinting an older title often seems less interesting and lucrative than doing a new project because sales of the reprint would be considerably slower than a brand new thing, even if in the long run Vornheim has the greater sales power - which we can't know ahead of time...)

Here are some distributors that had hard copies last time I checked a few months ago:

Indie Press Revolution

FRP Games

Paizo

CoolStuffInc

And these guys in Europe...

Lemme know if you know any place else that has one or if any of these sell out.

PDFs, as usual, available here.

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*AKA "Eat Me" or "The Alice In Wonderland thing"
Art preview featuring a fish guy...

Monsters, maps, ancient lifeforms, more Stacy, Mexican vampires etc

A lazy linky Sunday:

-I always liked David Larkins' Rifts: 2112 stuff--here he is back on the wagon with some alternate mexican vampire setting ideas.

-Some real 16th century monsters courtesy of Sebastian Munster

-Likewise mappy: the ever-inspiring Subterranean Design tumblr turned me on to fuckyeahcartography.tumblr.com

-Stacy from Frivology, with endless patience, ends the Chainmail Bikini wars forever.

-Dude, David Attenborough's First Life on Youtube!

-Do you guys know about the free maps on Paratime Designs? You should know about the free maps on Paratime Designs.

-Dude, that Australian western Nick Cave did on Youtube! (Trigger warning: everything)
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Who Dies Trying To Free You From Heads & Hamstrings Your Gnolls?

Stacy--a fine GM, and proprietor of Frivology--wrote this.

When I say Stacy is smart I mean it, but, although she says what she has to say unusually well, the ideas she's articulating here aren't unusual to me at all.

Basically: I have never, in my entire life, (except in RPG forums) ever met anyone who called themself a feminist, a woman or both, who would disagree with any of this:

Happy International Women's Day!

Please Observe the Following:

If today, you get the urge to make a post about how amazing you are towards women by creating special rules that dictate how you draw, write, interact with, or game with women, you're missing the point.

Drawing a woman in "reasonable" armor does not further equality, it furthers a particular artistic aesthetic that some women (but certainly not all) are interested in. It does nothing to further equality other than give you happy feels in your tummy, and appeal to those people.

Making specific rules at your table to cater to what you've determined are sensitive issues for women does not further equality - it strengthens negative stereotypes. If you want to make rules that deal with your player's feelings, don't say it's 'for women'. Again, not all women are sensitive, not all women are sensitive in the same ways, and not all women need or want special rules at the table.

Lastly, please avoid getting smug about your recognition of "privilege". No one wants to hear how you've recognized you're an asshole because life is so much better for you than for women. That does nothing to further equality.

So today, if you truly want to celebrate women, don't demean them, don't force them into stereotypes, don't assume that any one person or any one group of people can assume what all (or even a majority) of women need. Realize that women, just like men, are all different people with different needs, different wants, different aesthetic desires, different bodies, different emotions, different sensitivities, and different reactions.

Today, if you truly want to support International Women's Day, show us some of the amazing things that women have done that you love, not what you've done to make the world a safer place for poor, wittle old me.

#WomensDay  

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So, to pay my Stacy Tax:

Last night, oh my brothers and sisters, I was in Rappan Athuk and surrounded by gnolls. We had bearded them in their horrible lair, we were outnumbered and I was trying to burn them. It was my first day in the dungeon and one hit would've killed me.

So I'm grateful to Caroline Pierce who--despite having been born with only one hit point and being at minus two damage on account of her crappy strength--gamely slipped in to backstab the first gnoll I was fighting for (a much appreciated) 2d4-2 damage.

...Likewise I am grateful to Mandy Morbid, who ran in when the gnoll noticed Caroline and kept it busy busy, giving CP time to hamstring it.

...and none of us can forget Kimberly Kane, who died last night trying to save a fighter she barely knew when he was swallowed whole by a giant, powerful and arbitrary magical head made of mysterious stone.

So I thank you, ladies, and the Zelkor's Ferry branch of The Devildog Slaughterfist Memorial Life Insurance, Hogbreeding and Asset Seizure Limited Liability Company thanks you. You are all totally metal.

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