The Alice: A PC Class for any kind of D&D

from A Red And Pleasant Land, the upcoming Alice module...

Pic by me. Clicking makes it bigger.

Alices (when male: "Alistairs" or, of either sex: "Fools") are unlike other adventurers in that they are actively sought by adventure. Alices forever find themselves falling into cursed rabbit holes, accidentally killing witches, having their half-brothers stolen by goblin kings, being willed magic rings, finding demons inserted in their chests or having armored knights ride through their homes while they are trying to sleep. Obscure gods, however, sympathize with them (they are often born to powerful families), and an Alice is a boon to any party. Some Alices wear striped stockings, some Alistairs wear pointed shoes. 

Although they begin their adventures untrained and naive, Alices are fast learners, and high level Alices are known for their sagacity and cunning.

Inserting an Alice into any system is simple--in general they are treated as thieves/rogues/specialists. Details:

Race:

Alices are always humans or halflings (though some say they are a race unto themselves). In systems which treat race as class, you could say the Aliceness of an Alice supercedes its Halflingness.

Hit Points:

Alices accumulate hit points as wizards/magic-users

Attacks:

Alices attack as thieves/rogues/specialists.

Skills: 

At first level, and usually thereafter, Alices collect skills like thieves/rogues/specialists. The automatic specialist skills in LOTFP are: Climb, Search, Find traps, Sleight of hand, Sneak attack, Stealth and Tinker. These all start at a 1 in 6 chance* and go up by one each time you add skill points. The exception is sneak attack which starts at normal damage then goes to double damage then to triple, etc. Anyway: at first level add 2 skill points anywhere you want to your skill list as opposed to the usual 4.

They search for and detect traps at +1 (if these are two distinct abilities in your system, pick 1).

If you are not using LOTFP follow that asterisk for suggestions on how to allocate your 16.6666 repeating percent improvement. Or if you're using a system with a thief-abilities-by-level chart (like AD&D), you could just interpret "using your 2 skill points" as moving up one level up on the chart. If you do this you'll eventually end up with something like a 6th level thief who performs thief functions at like 3rd level plus has a few of the below gimmicks. Not as hard to keep track of as it might seem so long as (like wizards everywhere) you write all your important stuff on your character sheet.

Saves: 

If you're using a 3-save system, give yourself a +1 dex save, if you're using LOTFP or another old-style Death Ray save system, give the Alice saves that are one worse than usual for a thief. In LOTFP that's: Paralyze 15, Poison 17, Breath 16, Device 15, Magic 15.

Exasperation:

In addition, in times of unusual stress Alices may become Exasperated. This Exasperation causes fate to take notice of the Alice, and then to aid her. The Alice says or thinks something like "Oh I can't conceive how I ever fell into this deplorable circumstance!" or "We are indeed doomed and the rats will gnaw our eyes."

Practically speaking, an Alice may express Exasperation once every real-time game hour (as games focus almost exclusively on stressful times, these represent the periods during which the gods are most likely to take notice). When this happens roll the dice.

At 1-5th level roll d4, at 6-7th level roll d6, at 8-9th level roll d8, at 10-11th roll d10, at 12th level and higher roll d12:

1-A secret door is revealed where none had previously been detected. If the GM has made no provision for a secret door, it leads to the nearest unexplored area.

2-The Alice realizes she has something in her pack, her hair, or otherwise secreted about her person. The object can be anything non-magical and generic (a key, not the key) that exists in the setting and that is small enough that the Alice could reasonably have it hidden it in her current condition or smaller than a breadbox, whichever dimensions are smaller at the time. The Alice may choose what this is.

3-An ordinary animal--cat sized or smaller--appears. The Alice cannot directly control it but it will not under any circumstances hurt the Alice.

4-A fact about the situation at hand occurs to the Alice--a piece of local or monster lore, perhaps something she read or was once told in a parlor or a lesson or in a kitchen.

5-Someone of the Alice's choice falls down. (Line of sight.)

6-The weather in the immediate area changes in a way decided by the Alice--the change is general and may not be targeted (no aimed lighting bolts or gusts of wind).

7-A nearby creature is charmed by the Alice for an hour. (Line of sight.)

8-An inorganic device or object of the Alice's choice breaks. (Line of sight.)

9-Something not ordinarily able to talk (GM's choice) begins to speak to the Alice.

10-Creatures present complete forget the Alice is there for as long as the Alice keeps making saves vs spell.

11-Someone is sent to fetch the Alice out of her current predicament. If there is an obvious candidate from among the local NPCs (giant eagles, a friendly knight...), that's who it is. If there isn't, then: hey GM, time to make up a weirdo. The NPC does not automatically have the ability to extricate the Alice from the situation, s/he merely appears as close as is plausible.

12-Someone or something of the Alice's choice begins to shrink at 1 foot per round down to playing-card size. (Line of sight.)

These effects are magical and can be countered as magic.

You can totally click to enlarge this, too

Leveling up:

At first level and every time you level up, roll twice on the table below. What happens if you roll a thing twice (consecutively or otherwise) is also explained.

(Some of these include stuff about ability score bonuses, if you have an ability score minus, just ignore that.)

1-20 Alice was then reminded of something she'd noticed before... +1 to all your saves.

21-70 Falling down wells really improves the hand-eye coordination: 2 skill points or just slide up to the next thief-function bracket if you're using 1e or something.

71 You're very perceptive, if nothing else. For each combat round you spend just watching someone (i.e. you're not doing anything except maybe moving and you are not being attacked yourself) you get +d10 to hit and +d10 to damage or +d10 to any attempt to trip, grab, or otherwise mess with the target when you finally do decide to attack. This only works on targets that are engaged in combat while they are being observed. The ability can only be used once per fight on anyone smart enough to notice what you're doing. Also: only works on things with organs (like, not on oozes). Re-rolling this raises the die to d12 then d20. After that you start getting 2d10 then 2d12 then 2d20 etc.

72 Alice liked pies, although sometimes people did not want her to have them. Add your level to any attempt to locate any foodstuff of any kind. Re-rolling this this just adds +1 more up to a maximum of 10. After that the bonus applies to any organic material. After that it's a wasted roll.

73 She closed her eyes and said the words as she'd been taught... You have learned one magic-user spell. It functions as if cast by a 15th level wizard or your level whichever is higher. Determine the spell randomly (d8 for level). It works once, that's it.

74 Oh, I do so apologize... You can super-easily trip any basically human-sized creature that is otherwise engaged with someone or something else on a successful roll-under dex d20 roll. This only works once per fight unless the enemy is mindless like zombies or for some reason can't see you pull off this tactic. Re-rolling this result means the trip does damage: d4, then d6, then d8 etc.

75 Her aunt had mentioned them ... +2 to recognize the faction or function of any aristocrat in any land. It maxes out at +6. After that, for each time this bonus is re-rolled, you are cousin or niece or otherwise secondhand related to the number (whatever number over 3) of NPCs encountered thereafter of your choice.

76 All that hiding in the dumbwaiter has finally paid off. You know a secret. One of two kinds of secret, to be precise: either a piece of useful lore about a legendary treasure or magic item that you encounter or an embarrassing fact about an NPC. Mechanically: once per session you may astound your party's condescending wizard by pulling this lore or rumor out of your petticoat or pantaloon by making a successful roll-under int check. If you fail, screw it, you can't do it this session. Re-rolling this means you try for this twice per session, then 3 times, etc

77 It seemed nearly everything was dangerous if handled improperly. You've become very skilled with improvised weapons--they do one die category larger than they should If you garotte someone they automatically lose a turn on a successful hit, if you drop caltrops or marbles and someone with two legs steps on them they will automatically fall down (at least the first time). Re-rolling this result adds damage to any of these +2, +4, +6 , etc

78 It was very shiny and stuck out like a soup spoon... On a successful melee hit, you may immediately make a Sleight of Hand attempt to grab an item (other than the target's weapon) off a target. This won't work twice on anyone above zombie-intelligence who sees it. Re-rolling this result means you get a bonus to the sleight roll for each re-roll +1, +2, +3 etc.

79 She was not such a mouse as she used to be. +1 Dex to racial max, excess goes to Str or Con.

80 Alice then did something quite astonishing... You are surprising. +(entire charisma score) to hit with any suddenly improvised weapon the first time you strike against any intelligent foe (who knew what you could do with a gingerbread man?) and add your whole charisma score to the damage. This trick only works once per fight. Re-rolling this adds +2, then +3, then +4 to the damage, etc.

81 The blue one certainly did make you taller, of that Alice was sure... You are +1 to identify drugs and plants with drug-like properties for each time you roll this.

82 She could be very charming when she needed to be. Your silver tongue gives you a +2 charisma bonus to lying. If charisma checks don't come up much in your game, just say someone of ordinary intelligence you can talk to will pretty much automatically believe one lie you tell per day. If you re-roll this result it goes +2 more, +4, +6 etc. or extra lies per day.

83 "It really was curious," she thought--"How many times could this kind of thing happen?" You may escape death or another equally awful fate exactly once. You must spend at least a round playing possum to build tension but....surprise, you jumped out of the way just in time! Re-rolling this means you get to do it again.

84 She knew to curtsey at times like this, and so she did. Despite the low company you keep, you've been working on your manners. Members of the upper classes instinctively recognize you as one of their own. +1 to charisma rolls or reaction checks when dealing with them for every time you roll this.

85 It was so lovely, and--according to the book--it was right there. The dress made of manticoreflesh, the house full of lilacs, the magical fishgutting knife---whatever the thing that you always wanted is, it's there. 4 sessions worth of adventure away or less. Tell your GM, who then must place it.

You must have a fair shot at it--like any other reward, but there's no guarantee you will get it. If you don't get it by the fourth session you can keep trying or let it go and roll again on this table. However if you choose to roll again and then you do get the thing somehow anyway, you lose whatever gimmick you rolled. GM think up some clever reason why.

86 She had not known her mother's cousin very well, and decided that it was a bad thing that she had died...You have been willed 5000 units of the local currency (GP? SP? Kroner?) worth of random mundane (nonmagical) objects. Here's how it works: you have exactly ten seconds real time to say what you bought. You now have all that stuff, assuming it adds up to less than 5000gp. You do not get xp for this treasure.

87 They kept talking as though Alice was a rhododendron in a pot. Add 2 to your stealth each time you roll this. If you max out, that's that.

88 She knew from school what the word meant, but did not know if it was rude or not. Add 2 to languages skill or choose a new language to read and speak.

89 Alice quite liked drawing, and had an impressive box of crayons at home. You are adept at forgery.  It's a your Int vs. their Wis roll, assuming you have access to about 40 gp worth of stuff or the kind of materials you'd find in a civilized area. Every time you re-roll this you get +2 to the check.

90 She thought it might be a saltcellar, or at least that seemed like the right word for it. You can appraise treasure to a nontrivial and nonboring degree: you can estimate the value of nonmagical things flawlessly and if a piece of treasure is not what it seems on any level you will get an inkling. As in, you'll go "Is this not what it seems?" and the GM will go "Yeah, you've seen a lot of jade urns in your day and this is not what it seems somehow--you're not sure how." If a treasure has some unusual or hidden feature of a mechanical or physical nature you will sense that it is there on a successful Int roll. You won't know what it is, but you'll sense that it is there. You also have an extra +1 (in 6) and + int bonus (if any) chance to notice unusual features or traps in rooms if you are familiar with the culture that built the room. If you re-roll this result you are reading now, just roll again.

91-93 She did seem to offend people (and animals) wherever she went. You've become adept at dueling. You may add your dexterity bonus instead of your strength bonus to hit with a foil, rapier or similar weapon (if the mechanics of your game already allow that, you can add it to damage). Each time you roll this result thereafter, you are at +1 to hit in any formal (challenged and accepted) duel with any dueling weapon you have used as a weapon before. r.

94 They all listened attentively as Alice told her tale. +1 Cha. to racial max, excess goes to Wis or Int.

95 They began to throw stones, and Alice began to avoid them  +2 to reflex save or whatever saves can plausibly be derived from "jumping out of the way" in your system. If a save normally means you take half damage, you take none.

96 She began to feel somewhat neglected. If you are attacked in a round that you spend doing nothing but dodging and your attacker misses, s/he or it will not only miss but fuck up and lose his or her next turn (if s/he or it has multiple attacks, s/he will lose a number of attacks equal to your level). This only works once on anything of better than zombie intelligence that sees it happen. If you re-roll this result, you get it twice, then three times, then four, etc.

97-98 She tried to remember what she knew about stoats. +1 to reaction checks or charisma rolls from all ordinary animals and talking-but-otherwise-ordinary animals.

99-00 Alice had seen so many unusual things lately, it had become usual. You've seen and done so much that nothing phases you--you are immune to insanity or confusion in any form. Even mind-altering cosmic horrors from the far edge of the cosmos are like whatever. You still do fear. Fear is good. Fear keeps you alive. Re-rolling this means any allies who can see you likewise get a bonus (+2) to their saves on account of your steady eye.

The Alice player must not become dizzied by this wonderland of combat options. You get 10 seconds to pick what you're doing once it's your turn.

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*Note on using the LOTFP skill advancement in other systems:

So the LOTFP skill system is--Base skill (everybody has this): 1 in 6, If you are a specialist and level up a skill you get 2 in 6 then 3 in 6 etc...

That's about a 16.6% improvement per advance.

Here are some slightly-more-ability-score-sensitive versions with fairly similar (not exactly the same) math if you want 'em...

.In a D20 DC-style system: Add your stat bonus for every advance. If you want to match LOTFP, assume the DC is usually 20 and the starting point for anybody is a roll + stat bonus.

.In a D20 DC-style system but you're still using the old style ability bonuses (i.e. 13-15 is +1, 16-17 +2 etc) then add stat bonus x 2 for every advance. If you want to match LOTFP, assume the DC is usually 20 and the starting point for anybody is a roll + 2x stat bonus.

.Roll-under: Roll under stat minus 10. Add +d6 to your stat for purposes of this skill for every advance.

. Percentile: You start at (your ability score)% chance and add your ability score again every advance.)

Thieves, Thieves, Thieves and Liars

Still heedlessly messing with D&D classes.

Here's an alternate thief/rogue.

It's based on the best simple version of the thief, the Lamentations of the Flame Princess: Weird Fantasy Specialist (you can download LOTFP free in the left column here) but it is basically compatible with most D&D thieves/rogues. You could actually switch to this thief mid-campaign below without much bump.

Now the Specialist in LOTFP is kind of a catch-all class that can be made into a thief, rogue, ranger or Indiana Jones-type depending on where you drop the skill points. Since I did a ranger yesterday this here is just a pretty straight-up thief, though. Like a stealer and a sneaker.

Thief (Variant for all old-style D&Ds)

Here's how it works:

1. Hit points work as usual. D6 every level.

2. If you're using a 3-save system, give yourself a +1 dex save, if you're using LOTFP or another old-style Death Ray save system, give the thief saves that are one worse than usual. In LOTFP that's: Paralyze 15, Poison 17, Breath 16, Device 15, Magic 15.

3. The automatic thief skills are: Climb, Search, Find traps, Sleight of hand, Sneak attack, Stealth and Tinker. In LOTFP these all start at a 1 in 6 chance* and go up by one each time you add skill points. The exception is sneak attack which starts at normal damage then goes to double damage then to triple, etc. Anyway: add 2 skill points anywhere you want to your skill list as opposed to the usual 4.

If you are not using LOTFP follow that asterisk for suggestions on how to allocate your 16.6666 repeating percent improvement. Or if you're using a system with a thief-abilities-by-level chart (like AD&D), you could just interpret "using your 2 skill points" as moving up one level up on the chart. If you do this you'll eventually end up with something like a 6th level thief who performs thief functions at like 3rd level plus has a few of the below gimmicks. Not as hard to keep track of as it might seem so long as (like wizards everywhere) you write all your important stuff on your character sheet.

4. At first level and every time you level up, roll twice on the table below. What happens if you roll a thing twice (consecutively or otherwise) is also explained.

(some of these include stuff about ability score bonuses, if you have an ability score minus, just ignore that)

1-20 Heyyy, I've seen this thing before... +1 to all your saves.

21-70 Sitting in that corner flipping that coin over and over really improves the hand-eye coordination: 2 skill points or just slide up to the next thief-function bracket if you're using 1e.

71 You're an experienced mugger with an eye for detail. For each combat round you spend just watching someone (i.e. you're not doing anything except maybe moving and you are not being attacked yourself) you get +d10 to hit and +d10 to damage or +d10 to any attempt to trip, grab, or otherwise mess with the target when you finally do decide to attack. This only works on targets that are already engaged or that you can sneak attack in the round where you finally act. The ability can only be used once per fight on anyone smart enough to notice what you're doing. Also: only works on things with organs (like, not on oozes). Re-rolling this raises the die to d12 then d20. After that you start getting 2d10 then 2d12 then 2d20 etc.

72 Ok, you're not totally useless in a fight. Add your dex bonus to your attacks in melee combat. Re-rolling this this just adds +1 more. If you have no dex bonus, add +1.

73 So I found this scroll in this old man's house, right? You have learned one magic-user spell. It functions as if cast by a 15th level wizard or your level whichever is higher. Determine the spell randomly (d8 for level). It works once, that's it.

74 Oh, sorry ma'am didn't mean to... You can super-easily trip any basically human-sized creature that is otherwise engaged with someone or something else on a successful roll-under dex d20 roll. This only works once per fight unless the enemy is mindless like zombies or for some reason can't see you pull off this tactic. Re-rolling this result means the trip does damage: d4, then d6, then d8 etc.

75 Eeeny meeny miney....moe... You are real good at stabbing people in places they really wish you hadn't. If you successfully attack a foe with basically understandable anatomy (like: organs and stuff) with a dagger (or bodkin or whatever), you have the option to leave the dagger in--in some horrible place. The dagger will do d6 ongoing damage per round and will do d20 if they take it out. Yes you can just keep doing this to them over and over like they're a pincushion if you buy a lot of daggers. Magical healing will allow safe extraction of the dagger as will decent mundane medical attention. If you re-roll this result the die of damage for the ongoing damage goes up: d8, d10, d12, d20 etc.

76 All that drinking in the Melting Strumpet has finally paid off. You know a secret. One of two kinds of secret, to be precise: either a piece of useful lore about a legendary treasure or magic item that you encounter or an embarrassing fact about an NPC. Mechanically: once per session you may astound your party's condescending wizard by pulling this lore or rumor out of your ass by making a successful roll-under int check. If you fail, screw it, you can't do it this session. Re-rolling this means you try for this twice per session, then 3 times, etc

77 You've been getting steady work in the city and are familiarizing yourself with the tools of the trade. If you garotte someone they automatically lose a turn on a successful hit, if you bola a running target they will fall down, if you whip somebody successfully you will entangle a limb for at least one round (or one round longer than normal depending on the rules) and if you drop caltrops or marbles and someone with legs steps on them they will automatically fall down. Re-rolling this result adds damage to any of these +2, +4, +6 , etc

78 The old smack and nick... On a successful melee hit, you may immediately make a Sleight of Hand attempt to grab an item (other than the target's weapon) off a target. This won't work twice on anyone above zombie-intelligence who sees it. Re-rolling this result means you get a bonus to the sleight roll for each re-roll +1, +2, +3 etc.

79 Ok, you're kind of a ninja. You are capable of great acrobatic feats and dodges and leaps. In combat, this allows you 2 separate move actions at any time and you can attack and break off being attacked with no danger of reprisal once per . So you could go: attack move move or move attack move or move move attack. You may do this once per fight plus one more for every time you re-roll this result. (Note this is slightly stingier than the Ranger version of this ability.)

80 You've been practicing with flower pots on old ladies. You are +(entire charisma score) to hit with any suddenly improvised weapon the first time you strike against any intelligent foe (who the hell knew you were going for the breadbox?) and add your whole charisma score to the damage. This trick only works once per fight. Re-rolling this adds +2, then +3, then +4 to the damage, etc.

81 Score! You have d6 doses of horrible drugs that are bad for you. They work by ingestion or insinuation. Unless the GM has some crazy drug table, I'm going to say victims must save or act as if under a Confusion spell for 4 rounds.

82 You're a pro at conning. Your silver tongue gives you a +2 charisma bonus to lying. If charisma checks don't come up much in your game, just say someone of ordinary intelligence you can talk to will pretty much automatically believe one lie you tell per day. If you re-roll this result it goes +2 more, +4, +6 etc. or extra lies per day.

83 The gods of luck smile upon your worthless thieving hide. You may escape death or another equally awful fate exactly once. You must spend at least a round playing possum to build tension but....surprise, you jumped out of the way just in time! Re-rolling this means you get to do it again.

84 Oooo, skull and crossbones... You can make 1+ int bonus doses of poison given 12 hours in a city or large town and 15 gp of materials. It's good for d4 hours and does d10+int bonus damage ingested or insinuated on a failed save. You also have been dealing with the stuff so much that you get a +2 bonus to save against poison in general. Re-rolling this increases the save by 2 and means you can make another dose per 12 hour period.

85 Yesssss! Finally you've found it--that thing you wanted? The big score? The Jewel of the Throckmarten Throne? The parasite that eats bad karma? The magic knife that slits throats all by itself? The comely sibling of the monstrous vicar? Whatever. It's there. 4 sessions worth of adventure away or less. Tell your GM, who then must place it.

You must have a fair shot at it--like any other reward, but there's no guarantee you will get it. If you don't get it by the fourth session you can keep trying or let it go and roll again on this table. However if you choose to roll again and then you do get the thing somehow anyway, you lose whatever gimmick you rolled. GM think up some clever reason why.

86 Ohhh... your head hurts and why is this countertop marble? It's hard to reconstruct but you are pretty sure you scored 5000 units of the local currency (GP? SP? Kroner?) and spent it all in one night. Here's how it works: you have exactly ten seconds real time to say what you bought. You now have all that stuff, assuming it adds up to less than 5000gp. You do not get xp for this treasure.

87 Being something of a coward has paid off. You are + 4 to hit with a bow or crossbow if you spend a round aiming. Re-roll? +6, +8 etc.

88 Haaaa! It was me all along! You have learned the art of disguise. Mostly. It's a your Int vs. their Wis roll, assuming you have access to about 40 gp worth of stuff or the kind of materials you'd find in a civilized area. Every time you re-roll this you get +2 to the check.

89 You've been working on doing convincing squiggles. You are adept at forgery. Mechanical details work like disguise above: (Int v Wis, 40gp, +2 on a re-roll, etc etc)

90 You've been watching Antiques Roadshow. You can appraise treasure to a nontrivial and nonboring degree: you can estimate the value of nonmagical things flawlessly and if a piece of treasure is not what it seems on any level you will get an inkling. As in, you'll go "Is this not what it seems?" and the GM will go "Yeah, you've seen a lot of jade urns in your day and this is not what it seems somehow--you're not sure how." If a treasure has some unusual or hidden feature of a mechanical or physical nature you will sense that it is there on a successful Int roll. You won't know what it is, but you'll sense that it is there. You also have an extra +1 (in 6) and + int bonus (if any) chance to notice unusual features or traps in rooms if you are familiar with the culture that built the room. If you re-roll this result you are reading now, just roll again.

91 Keeping one step ahead of the law is hard work. +1 Dex to racial max, excess goes to Str or Con.

92 You are the steely-eyed one at the end of the bar. +1 Wis to racial max, excess goes to Int or Cha.

93 You're not as dumb as you look. +1 Int to racial max, excess goes to Wis or Cha. Note: You look no smarter.

94 It's weird, people are beginning to believe you when you talk. +1 Cha. to racial max, excess goes to Wis or Int.

95 The whole stop, drop, roll thing has finally sunk in. +2 to reflex save or whatever saves can plausibly be derived from "jumping out of the way" in your system. If a save normally means you take half damage, you take none.

96 You've developed highly advanced avoidance strategies. If you are attacked in a round that you spend doing nothing but dodging and your attacker misses, s/he or it will not only miss but fuck up and lose his or her next turn (if s/he or it has multiple attacks, s/he will lose a number of attacks equal to your level). This only works once on anything of better than zombie intelligence that sees it happen. If you re-roll this result, you get it twice, then three times, then four, etc.

97 He's a card player, gambler, scoundrel--you'd like him. You have pals all over. You have one contact for each thief level you have (write these pals down when they appear). This ability can be triggered in any civilized area (or uncivilized areas that travelers frequent) and HEY, IT'S YOU!!!. (GM, get rolling some random NPCs.) These will generally be low-level underclass types--thugs, mountebanks and freakshow performers and, though they have information, they will not be adventurer-material (i.e. they won't help you fight things or open trapped doors for the most part). However, if you re-roll this result you may do one of the following things: "upgrade" an existing contact to upper class status (inheritance? big score?) or "upgrade" an existing contact to adventurer status (that is: you've made it look like fun and they want some, too.)

98 You're utterly forgettable. First: you are skilled at playing possum--if you pretend to go down in a fight you will most likely be ignored thereafter even if everyone else is already dead and will get a +2 to any sneak attacks thereafter. Also: In combat, you can stealth up on people even if they have already seen you and are in daylight so long as they are already fighting someone else or otherwise engaged. If you re-roll this or if your GM is the kind that already assumes that you can do this kind of thing, then this ability lets you pretty much keep stealthing over and over in the same combat so long as you switch targets or you can attack the same target so long as you spend one round not fighting them. Subsequent re-rolls after that just add 2 pips to your stealth up to the max and after that you should roll a different result.

99 You're so used to walking around in the dark it's like you're a bat. You treat night-time illumination as if it was just an overcast day and lightless pitch nine-levels underground darkness as if it were night-time (on account of your other senses being developed and/or some kind of creepy Lamarckian evolution). If you re-roll this or are using some variant rules where you are some species that can already see in the dark, you have a Daredevil-like radar sense allowing you to find your way around fine in even magical darkness or fog or when blinded plus your regular sight extends another 20'.

00 You are Dr Relaxed. You've seen and done so much that nothing phases you--you are immune to insanity or confusion in any form. Even mind-altering cosmic horrors from the far edge of the cosmos are like whatever. You still do fear. Fear is good. Fear keeps you alive. Re-rolling this means any allies who can see you likewise get a bonus (+2) to their saves on account of your steady eye.

The Thief player must not become star-struck by this glittering cache of combatly options. You get 10 seconds to pick what you're doing once it's your turn.

In addition to all this, thieves keep track of their scores. Write down things you have heisted or stolen (anything that was itself actively guarded or trapped--not just things that were lying there in the dungeon). Any criminal who knows who you are personally or who has any connection to the criminal underworld whose total number of experience points is equal to or less than the xp value of your biggest score (in LOTFP: over 1200--2nd level, over 2400--3rd level, over 4800--4th) will treat you as if your charisma is 18 (or, if it actually is 18, then 20).

__________________________________

Note on using the LOTFP skill advancement in other systems:

So the LOTFP skill system is: Base skill (everybody has this): 1 in 6, If you are a specialist and level up a skill you get 2 in 6 then 3 in 6 etc...

That's about a 16.6% improvement per advance.

Here are some slightly-more-ability-score-sensitive versions with fairly similar (not exactly the same) math if you want 'em...

.In a D20 DC-style system: Add your stat bonus for every advance. If you want to match LOTFP, assume the DC is usually 20 and the starting point for anybody is a roll + stat bonus.

.In a D20 DC-style system but you're still using the old style ability bonuses (i.e. 13-15 is +1, 16-17 +2 etc) then add stat bonus x 2 for every advance. If you want to match LOTFP, assume the DC is usually 20 and the starting point for anybody is a roll + 2x stat bonus.

.Roll-under: Roll under stat minus 10. Add +d6 to your stat for purposes of this skill for every advance.

. Percentile: You start at (your ability score)% chance and add your ability score again every advance.)

New Random Ranger For D&D and D&Dish Games

So here's another variant take on a class for your more simple forms of D&D.

Like yesterday's Warrior, this guy's based on the Lamentations of the Flame Princess game's Fighter class because that particular take on D&D is free, simple and basic, but you can probably switch from any TSR-style D&D to this Ranger without too much grinding of gears.

So...

RANGER (Variant On The Classic Class for DIY D&D games)

So, start with the hit points and saves for a 0-level Fighter in your system (if it has a Ranger, hey, even better). Write those down.

At first level, and each time you level up, you get your hit points as usual, but instead of the attack bonus and saves improving on a schedule, you roll twice on this table. Do what it says--there are also indicators of what to do if you re-roll that same result over again in places where that's hard to figure out...

1-25 +1 to hit. Hitting things is good, right?

26-45 +1 to all your saves. That's nice.

46-47 Look at you all dual-wielding. You have a second attack per round. You divide your usual attack bonus however you like between opponents/strikes. You get an extra attack per round every time you re-roll this result.

48 You're a ranger and you're ok, you work all night and sleep all day. +1 con up to racial max. Numbers in excess go to str or dex.

49 You are indeed limber. +1 dex up to racial max. Numbers in excess of the max go to str or con.

50-53 You--there! You--behind that boulder! You're very good at ambushes. Here's how it works: when you set up an ambush on an unsuspecting foe, everybody in your party (up to 8 creatures) gets an extra non-regular-attack, non-spell action in the first round. Like: somebody can pull a tripwire (not a regular attack) and hit somebody with a sword in the same round. Re-rolling this again means you get a +2 to not being detected each time.

54-56 Y'know what? You're really good at shooting arrows. Bow or crossbow, if you roll maximum damage the arrow lands wherever you want. Like exactly. In the eye, through the hand, whatever. Yes that means the smaller bows are slightly more accurate. Kinda makes sense, right? I think so. Anyway: Re-rolling this result gives you an extra arrow or quarrel shot per round if all you do that round is shoot.

Also, you can use the Called Shot Mechanic with a bonus allowing you to get the first extension of your crit range "free" (i.e. crit: 19-20, fumble: 1) and you get more "free" extensions if you re-roll this result.

57-60 The bigger they are... You're a hunter used to taking on vast beasties and know a thing or two about anatomy. Given a round to aim (if using a missile weapon), or a round of observation in melee (for these purposes, "observation" means spending a round in melee dong anything but attacking--including climbing on your opponent) you can inflict triple damage on any bigger-than human (size L) opponent with a sharp weapon on a hit. This only works once per opponent. Unless you re-roll this result, then it works twice, or three times, etc etc. It doesn't work on like Cthulhu shit with no organs or gelatinous cubes or stuff like that.

61-63 The sand people ride single file to disguise their numbers... In any wilderness environment you will know whatever organic life has been there in the last 24 hours including all typical wandering monsters, and you know about anything that's been there in the last week on a successful roll-under-wis or roll-under-level (whichever is higher) check. Re-roll this result and it extends to dungeons, then to cities, then to inorganic life. Then if you keep re-rolling you can always do the "everything in the last week" thing in the wilderness, then in dungeons...

64 THE LEGEND IS TRUE!!! You've heard a rumor in a wild and forgotten place--that thing you wanted? The sunken galleon? The Claw of Thirty Thrones? The steampunk compound bow? The little fairy that helps you find cake? It's there. 4 sessions worth of adventure away or less. Tell your GM, who then must place it.

You must have a fair shot at it--like any other treasure, but there's no guarantee you will get it. If you don't get it by the fourth session you can keep trying or let it go and roll again on this table. However if you choose to roll again and then you do get the thing somehow anyway, you lose whatever gimmick you rolled. GM think up some clever reason why.

65-66 Your rakish charm inspires awe in lesser beings. You have an exceptionally (though not supernaturally) intelligent hound or horse (your choice). This beast cannot be slain, kidnapped or otherwise traduced "offscreen" by the GM, so if he or she's in trouble and your PC is not around you get to play it out. If you re-roll this and your previous one is not dead, you get to add another hit die to your pal.

67 You're the most hardcore beastmaster. On your adventures you're gonna meet some dangerous animals. One of them is going to be your friend. Which one? Here are the restrictions: it has to be a real-life animal (prehistoric ones count at the GM's discretion) and it has to be something that either isn't hostile to you or that you or your party subdued. If it's big enough to ride--an elephant, a rhino, a sabre-toothed tiger then whatever: you can ride it no problem. Also you have to name it. Re-roll and now you have another pal to replace it or you get to add to the other pal's hit points.

68-69 Sniper. If you spend a round aiming a missile weapon you get +4 to hit (or 2 better than usual in your system). If you re-roll this it goes to +6, then +8, etc. If you keep re-rolling after +10 you start getting a second missile attack at +0 in the same round. Then +1 then +2, etc.

70-71 Traptastic. You are good at setting snares. If you're in a verdant environment or any area with like furniture or other materials handy you can cannibalize then you can fashion a snare or trap in 10 minutes if you can describe it in at least 3/4-assed detail to the GM. Detecting your trap is d10+ (creature's int) vs. d10 + (your Int or level--whichever's higher) as is any other check associated with it. Unless your description of the trap says otherwise, if it's the kind of trap that inflicts damage it'll inflict d6. If you have a steel bear trap or the like you can set it in a single melee round. If you re-roll this, the trap becomes more effective by +2 to both damage and to any checks associated with it.

72-73 Critter whisperer. You can try to soothe hostile beasts of animal intelligence so long as nobody in your party has attacked them. Basically, roll d10 and add your charisma or level (whichever is higher) and the GM rolls d10 + the creatures's meanness, rated on a scale of 1-20 by the GM with 20 being like some mama bear that just watched you eat all her baby bear's heads and is also mind-controlled by a hostile witch doctor. If the "charisma attack" works, the creature will calm down. If the charm offensive fails, you are at effectively unarmored, flat-footed AC the next round because you are trying to be all Timothy Treadwell there and are walking right up to it. Good luck with that. Re-rolling this result raises your AC by one if the charm offensive fails.

74-75 Hark! You are totally used to tromping around in the wilderness. In any wooded environment (or whatever other one you are a ranger of) you cannot be surprised and will always notice anyone coming at least 2 rounds away. Your experience with the landscape and the way it grows allows you to search a wilderness hex at twice the ordinary speed and if you are pursuing or being pursued through the wilderness you add your level, in feet, to your relative speed for purposes of determining who catches who. If you re-roll this, the expertise extends to all outdoor environments, re-roll again and it goes for dungeons, re-roll again and cities, again and it works in like the planes, re-roll again and you should probably just re-roll on this table until you get something different.

76-77 Swallowed the Monster Manual: Your Ranger PC knows everything you, the player, do about any monsters in the game plus s/he can unerringly know the next action (including target if there is one) of any animal intelligence organic creature in combat. Re-roll this and it applies to any organic creature, period, re-roll again and it applies to everything except like inscrutable energy beings like Xay-Ye and Xeg-Yi. After that, if you keep re-rolling you start getting +2 to hit things (in the same order: animal, then anything organic, then inorganic)

78-79 Your are one of those swashbuckling rangers from the movies--you can do crazy acrobatic BS like Legolas or Robin Hood. You can do a number of these stunts equal to your dex bonus per fight. These allow you to automatically achieve feats that are on the extreme edge of what is acceptable for your the game's grit level. If you use one of these tricks to attack, you can basically add an extra movement (half normal speed) onto your turn after the attack without any chance of getting hit back. So: leap in, attack, end up out of range again OR attack, then move then move again so you are a full 60' (or whatever) from the target. (If you have no dex bonus, you just get a +1 to dex for rolling this result instead of the crazy acrobatics.) Rolling this result twice adds one to the number of stunts you can perform or to your dex.

80-81 Scout. You have invested even more heavily in green makeup than the average ranger and are a master of camouflage: In wilderness environments you are effectively invisible at night until you attack, and during the day you can move at normal speed and stay concealed. People trying to find you need to pass a check pitting their wisdom vs your dexterity or level, whichever is higher. Re-rolling this allows you to add new environments--city, then dungeon.

82-83 You've been alligator wrestling or whatever. You can now knock prone or shove (10') anything that is animal intelligence up to the size of a bear in addition to also doing the usual damage on a successful melee hit. Subsequently re-rolling this result gives you the same advantage against creatures of any intelligence, then a +2 to damage vs animal-intelligence foes, then vs people.

84-85 Kingsfoil aye it's a weed... If you are in the wild or have been in the wild in the last 4 hours, look out world: we're going to assume you've collected some leaves and know how to use them. You've got two doses of some vegatabley bandages which can cure d4 hp of damage. After 4 hours the plants aren't fresh enough to work. If you re-roll this result, we'll assume you are good enough to screw up less and have 4 doses, re-roll: then 6, etc etc

86-87 Don't mind me, just collecting berries... You can prepare two doses of minor league poison given one hour in your preferred wilderness or environment like it. The victim must save or be entertainingly screwy (as Confusion probably) for 2d4 rounds and take d6 damage per round. The poison stays potent for an hour and can be injected or ingested. Re-rolling this result increases the damage potency to the next higher die (d10, d12, d20, d30...).

88 That anthropology degree has totally paid off. You can perform this ceremony, right? And it takes half an hour and requires you to eat the heart of an animal that you and your party (of 10 or fewer people) killed ( a regular, nonmagic animal, though prehistoric animals and maybe some other weird monsters count at the GM's discretion). You yourself must have delivered the killing blow. After you do that, you gain the offensive strength of that creature for one hour (# of attacks, bonus to attack, damage) but are also kind of nuts and cannot speak except in short grunts (you can point). You can preserve the heart for as long as you want before doing this. Do this more than once per day and you will go completely crazy. Re-roll this result and the effect lasts an extra hour.

89 The art of fighting without fighting. You are one of those smug pseudo-pacifist types who beats the fuck out of people up by directing their own strength against them. On the first round of combat, if the enemy strikes first (or if you let the enemy strike first) with a mundane physical melee attack you can announce you're are "fighting without fighting". You get no attack this round, but instead do a kind of clever dodge or redirect. The net effect is that if the enemy's attack would've hit, s/he does however much damage s/he would've done to you to him, her or itself instead (regardless of the enemy's armor class). Re-rolling this result means you can keep doing it in subsequent rounds.

90-91 Mappy. You pay extra attention when mapping--if the player playing the ranger maps a wilderness area, then, the second time the ranger PC passes through that area (provided at least an hour or one pitched combat has passed--to cleanse the ranger's mind of initial impressions), the ranger PC will automatically notice any concealed or hidden features in that area, and also any changes since last time. A mappy ranger will also notice any differences between a players' map drawn by someone else and the actual landscape and can find food or fresh water in any mapped wilderness terrain within an hour. Re-rolling this means it works in cities too, then in alien terrain, then in dungeons.

92 You know exactly where to put it: +1 damage. If you roll this again it jumps to +3, then +5, +7 etc

93-94 Dodgy. +2 to jumping out of the way (reflex save, breath weapon save whatever it's called in your system). +1 thereafter if you re-roll this.

95-96 The robust outdoor life serves you well. +2 vs toxins, poisons and whatever other saves might be considered derivable from your general good health in the system you're using.

97 Shovey. On a melee hit you can do your usual damage plus knock a human-sized opponent back ten feet. If you try it twice on the same opponent they get a save or str check or something against you. If you roll this result again you get 2 free shoves before the saves kick in. After that, re-roll.

98-99 Trippy. On a melee hit you can do your usual damage plus knock a human-sized opponent prone. If you try it twice on the same opponent they get a save or str check or something against you. If you roll this result again on this table, you get 2 free knockdowns before the saves kick in, then 4, etc. After that, re-roll.

00 You have roamed, and your experiences have been rich and varied. You are now +2 to hit in 2 of the following situations: from horseback, in unarmed combat, or with a bow or crossbow. Your choice. If you eventually roll all of those and keep re-rolling this result, you start getting +2s to weird fighting situations you can make up, like fighting blind or on fire or whatever GM approval blah blah blah

The Ranger player must not become dazzled by the embarrassment of combatly options. You get 10 seconds to pick what you're doing once it's your turn, got it?

In addition to all this, Rangers love to range. Who knew? The Ranger player can keep a list of all the places his/her PC has gone in the campaign and creatures seen. Whenever one of these creatures is seen again or a new kind of creature, NPC or thing which has its origins in one of those places (and the GM is free to define "creature", "thing" or "places" however narrowly) is encountered, the Ranger will have at least one fact at his or her disposal about it. This is not necessarily a combat fact but is something true and with a decent chance of being useful in the session--I heard this person usually hides their treasure in a... these kinds of goblins tend to use the following tactic, these objects are left by the cult of... this person is a Priest from Reelac, thus.... In WOTC-D&D terms, the player automatically succeeds on a lore check or gather information check once per game session. This is by virtue of having been to the place the thing in question is from and having spent time there and/or having been able, since then, to ask around about it.

Also, you may make an intelligence check to know how to speak a sentence in any language that comes up from a place you've been. (Like you just knew it all along because you heard it somewhere.) You can learn to speak well enough to basically get along after a week somewhere and can master it in a month. .

Plus you can track people and monsters, no surprise there. Any tests related to your tracking ability are proportional to your wisdom or your level, whichever's higher. These abilities work as usual in the wild or in towns, and at -d4 in a city or dungeon.

Alternate Fighter For, like, D&D and stuff like that

This is pretty much a new fighter from the ground up.

It's based most explicitly on the Lamentations of the Flame Princess: Weird Fantasy RPG fighter because that ruleset is free to download and pretty simple and just like most D&Ds, but this fighter here should be roughly compatible with all Old School games. Roughly compatible like: In the way Greg Ginn's guitar was roughly compatible with Rollins' vocals. Like...just off enough to be interesting.

It:

-differentiates PCs mechanically a little more

-suggests a slightly more D&Dish, pile-of-goblin-skulls and less Cthulhu-esque-monster-of-the-week background than LOTFP, and

-makes levelling up a little more fun than it usually is.

Theoretically, you could also switch to this system in the middle of any D&D game at any time instead of taking whatever the usual level-up package in your game is, though you need to keep track of your own attack bonus and your own saves.

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When you level up as a fighter in LOTFP 3 things happen: more hit points, attack bonus goes up, saves might get better. So in this...

WARRIOR (Fighter Variant)

...you start with your normal 0 level hit points and saves. Write those down.

At first level, and each time you level up, you get your hit points as usual, but instead of the attack bonus and saves improving on a schedule, you roll twice on this table. Do what it says--there are also indicators of what to do if you re-roll that same result over again in places where that's hard to figure out...

1-30 +1 to hit. Trust me, you'll be glad you have it.

31-50 +1 to all your saves Aren't you mr special goose? Or ms special goose

51-55 In battle there is no law, but you're kinda in charge. Once per fight you can give any other PC an extra non-attack (that is: not a traditional "roll to hit, roll for damage" type weapon attack), non-spellcasting action. Re-rolling this lets you do it one more time per fight.

56-57 When you hit things they tend to stay hit: +1 damage. If you roll this again it jumps to +3, then +5, +7 etc

58-59 You have learned where not to stand. +2 to jumping out of the way (reflex save, breath weapon save whatever it's called in your system). +1 thereafter if you re-roll this.

60-61 You smoke less and have been getting some exercise. +2 vs toxins, poisons and whatever other saves might be considered derivable from your general good health in the system you're using.

62-63 You've gotten real good at shoving. On a melee hit you can do your usual damage plus knock a human-sized opponent back ten feet. If you try it twice on the same opponent they get a save or str check or something against you. If you roll this result again you get 2 free shoves before the saves kick in. After that, re-roll.

64-65 You're good at getting people out of your way. On a melee hit you can do your usual damage plus knock a human-sized opponent prone. If you try it twice on the same opponent they get a save or str check or something against you. If you roll this result again on this table, you get 2 free knockdowns before the saves kick in, then 4, etc. After that, re-roll.

66-67 You're good at aiming for the fingers. On a hit you can do your ordinary damage plus disarm an opponent if they fail a simple str check. If you reroll this result they get a penalty to their check, +1, then +2 etc.

68-69 You're grabby as fuck. On a melee hit on a human-sized or smaller opponent you can do your ordinary damage plus your opponent is grabbed if they fail a strength check. Note grabbing is not always what it's cracked up to be since now you're vulnerable to attack from elsewhere, but enjoy it while it lasts. If you reroll this result they get a penalty to their check, +1, then +2 etc.

70-71 You've been getting out and meeting new people. You are now +2 to hit from horseback or +2 to hit in unarmed combat or +2 to hit with a bow or crossbow. Your choice. If you eventually roll all of those and keep re-rolling this result, you start getting +2s to weird fighting situations you can make up, like fighting blind or on fire or whatever GM approval blah blah blah

72-73 Finally! A second attack per round. You divide your attack bonus however you like between opponents/strikes. You get an extra attack per round every time you re-roll this result.

74-75 Christ you're big. +2 to checks to intimidate people. +2 when your re-roll this thereafter, you're getting like Wolverine scary.

76-77 You shall be splintered! Basically you can use the Shields Shall Be Splintered rule on a limb of your choice: A single hit that normally would have killed you just maimed you instead. You lose an arm below the elbow or leg below the knee, your choice. If you re-roll this you can "bank" another one or, if you've already lost a limb, the next time you get magically healed it comes back.

78 AHA!!! You've heard a rumor in a tavern--that thing you wanted? The riding panther? The Axe of Ninety Nymphs? That king totally willing to lend you his army? The parasitic extra limb that grants you immortality? That romantic subplot? It's there. 4 sessions worth of adventure away or less. Tell your GM, who then must place it.

You must have a fair shot at it--like any other treasure, but there's no guarantee you will get it. If you don't get it by the fourth session you can keep trying or let it go and roll again on this table. However if you choose to roll again and then you do get the thing somehow anyway, you lose whatever gimmick you rolled. GM think up some clever reason why.

79 Your smashingness inspires awe in lesser beings. You have an exceptionally (though not supernaturally) intelligent and loyal henchman, hound or horse (your choice). This individual cannot be slain, kidnapped or otherwise traduced "offscreen" by the GM, so if he or she's in trouble and your PC is not around you get to play it out. Of you re-roll this and your previous one is not dead, you get to add another hit die to your pal.

80-81 You're totally a skullsplitter. Your crit range extends by one. Now you double damage on a 19 or 20. Keep rolling this and it keeps extending.

82-83 You get those sunken eyes like Bronn in Game of Thrones. Immune to fear. If you re-roll this, your companions gain a +2 vs fear if they can see you, then +4 etc

84-86 Hold fools! I hear something.... Which of the following environments has your PC spent the most time fighting in: city, dungeon, wilderness, desert, or sea? Whichever it is, you can now anticipate wandering monsters a round ahead of time in that environment and are immune to nonmagic surprise there. If you re-roll this again you can pick a second environment or get an extra round of anticipation.

87-88 You have learned to aim jusssst above the eyes. When fighting an opponent with adjacent eyes you can do your normal damage plus partially blind it by getting blood in its eyes. It'll take the opponent an action to wipe the blood away and this trick only works once on any given opponent. If you re-roll this it takes two actions to wipe away, if you re-roll it again you can totally de-eye an opponent on a successful hit, if you re-roll it a fourth time then just re-roll until you get a different result.

89-90 You've been like hunting and stuff with your Ranger friends. You can now knock prone or shove anything that is animal intelligence up to the size of a bear in addition to also doing usual damage on a successful melee hit. Subsequently re-rolling this result gives you a +2 to damage vs animal-intelligence foes.

91-92 You have learned the Impetuous Immortal Leaping Strike. You leap six feet in the air and for a mere -2 to hit you can do double damage if you connect. You can't pull it twice on the same foe (even if you miss) and it's kinda exhausting and puts you in a bad position, defensively--you cannot attack in the round afterwards. If you re-roll this, the damage goes up by 2 points each time.

93 Hey whoa, been going to the gym, huh? +1str up to racial max. Numbers in excess go to con or dex.

94 Hey whoa, been doing like laps in pools of the tears of the families of your fallen foes? +1 con up to racial max. Numbers in excess go to str or dex.

95 You have an annoying drinking buddy who thinks throwing like wadded up paper at you is fun. +1 dex up to racial max. Numbers in excess go to str or con.

96-97 You have become unbelievably metal. You do triple damage on a crit. Re-roll this: you do quadruple, etc.

98-99 You're like a decapitator. If you roll a natural 20 against something with a head in melee and its level/HD is equal to or less than yours, it does not have a head anymore. Re-rolling this means you can do it against things your level or one higher, then 2 higher, etc.

00 Ab..ra...kaaaa..what? Holy hell, someone managed to teach you a spell. The formula is bouncing around in your brain dying to be unleashed. It's any spell you want, up to 8th level, and it will work as if cast by a 15th level Wizard. It will work once, period. Ever. You have to be able to speak in order for it to work but no other restrictions apply.

The Warrior must not become dazzled by the embarrassment of combatly options. You get 10 seconds to pick what you're doing once it's your turn, got it?

In addition, the Warrior gets one other gimmick.

Warriors count foes slain (Michael Moscrip's idea, but spontaneously invented by fighter players everywhere since D&D began)--race and number.

For each combatant of a species (human, goblin, dragon, etc.) slain in-game (Warrior delivers the killing blow) the Warrior makes a notch. Once per encounter with that species (any time during the encounter), the Warrior's player may assess the creature. You assess by rolling percentile dice--

-if the first d10 is under the number slain, the AC, current hit points, and attack bonus of the creature are known,

-if the 2 d10s, taken as a 2-digit number, are lower than the total slain, the Warrior knows what the creature will do in the next round of combat (action and target, if any).

Swarms don't count, max is 90, slain after that just goes to bragging rights at your FLGS.

GMs are free to determine what constitutes a "species", fighters are free to bore everyone by killing endless orcs in their little orc sentry pits for no reason just to notch up, and the other players are free to have a little talk with them if they abuse these rights and perhaps should view them doing so as a nice little red flag.

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Feel free to kick the tires on this. I am amenable to suggestions.

I am fond of the "big d100 table to level up" idea but then I would be, right?